JOHN'S LIFE SPACE DISCLAIMER:

"John's Life Space" features a variety of content to many audiences. The majority of content is meant to suit an audience 13 years of age and older. Some material offered in this blog may not be suitable for all audiences and may include some topics too sensitive or discomforting to discuss. All advice offered in this blog is not meant to replace or substitute practical help. If you require counseling or want more professional help, please consult your healthcare provider, a psychologist, or any other qualified individual.
Showing posts with label Mental Health. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Mental Health. Show all posts

Wednesday, November 13, 2024

Children and Arguing Parents

John B. Marine | November 13, 2024 | | | Be the first to comment!
Arguments will happen between loved ones. However, if a child witnesses parents who can't get along, the child may feel threatened, heartbroken, or like they are part of the issue. Parents who argue can leave a rift that can be tough to repair, especially if things turns toward divorce or in worse cases, domestic abuse. The feeling is tough to process. This topic is no doubt difficult to discuss. As you may all know, though, it is a necessary discussion to have. So allow me to discuss further the impacts of witnessing parents argue and what can be done to remedy this.


IMPORTANT NOTE...

Part of this blog post introduces elements of domestic abuse. Domestic abuse is a serious situation. If you or someone you know experiences an episode of domestic violence, immediately contact local authorities, file a police report, contact hotlines, or seek help from healthcare professionals or other qualified individuals. DO NOT let these situations linger.






Children and Arguing Parents


Though an unpleasant mood, let me set the mood here with a picture...



arguing parents child
^ from: parent.com (links to article) - Being a child experiencing parents argue can be damaging and uncomfortable. It is even more so damaging if disputes lead to violence or an unsafe home environment.

In the case of disputing parents, a child may feel part of why the parents are at disagreement. Most of these times do not involve children as the basis of argument among parents. This is an assuring thought if a child feels one is part of the dispute between parents. However, just being away from the parents yet still hearing them oppose each other is enough to make a child feel queasy, depressed, and anxious.

The good news for a child is that most debates among parents does not involve a child or children within distance of arguing parents. The debate would have to be about if a child contributing to a problem in order for children to feel they are part of an argument among parents. That usually is not likely why parents may be at odds with each other. As an example of when children play a factor in what two parents may be arguing about, it may be if one parent punishes a child too harshly either by spanking or by making children depressed, and that the other parent thinks that loved one is being too harsh. Most of the time, a lot of arguments among arguing parents do not involve children as part of the debate.

The real trouble area is about what the future holds if one or both parents reach their boiling point or reach a certain level of tolerance. What could end up happening could adversely affect the life of a child or children for nearly the rest of their lives.


Should Children Try to Step In?

It is best to let the parents settle their issues if they can. If children try to get in the middle of disputing parents, it could end up in children getting harmed or possibly make a dispute worse. It is better to try to help a situation rather than add to it. Incidents such as arguing parents impacts all parties. So for the sake of children, it is possibly a great idea to not get involved or be a factor in diffusing disputes.


Let us discuss the aftermath of arguing parents and the correlation with children.




Aftermath of Arguing Parents


The situations involved may not pertain to everyone, but these are prime indicators of what is possible. Take a look...


Argument Alone.

Loving couples will argue at times. It is natural for there not to be much to be happy about for whatever reason. A couple that simply argues usually has their say, and things do not go overboard or to extremes. Arguments that end peacefully and without excessive conflict usually are just moments of disagreement that do not get into anything hairy.

As children who witnesses just an argument, do not feel part of the problem unless one truly is part of the problem. Most parents usually resolve their arguments without any sort of retaliation. Therefore, children can feel happy and can relax a bit.


Argument, Followed by Verbal Abuse.

A more serious situation involves when scathing words and thoughts are tossed around among a disagreeing couple. Regardless of who seems more at fault, the feeling of a disputing couple can bring great sadness among the two. Verbal abuse can alter the mental health of one or both parents. Depending on what it is said and how it is said, it can lead to someone feeling thrashed. Children who experience this become fearful of one or both parents.


These are the mild cases of arguing parents. Now let's get to some extremes...


Argument, Followed By Domestic Abuse.

I hope any sort of dispute among parents leads to domestic abuse, but that can happen. This is where an argument between two parents can lead to one or both loved ones inflicting physical violence against each other. A child hearing or experiencing two adults attack each other can be crippling. Violence is never acceptable or warranted. The worst that can happen is for arguing parents to be injured or even worse- get killed. Even more worse would be a murder-suicide between the two- whereas one parent is killed, followed by the assailant killing oneself afterwards. As one can imagine, children who experience parents domestically abuse each other can feel heartbroken and alone.

A possibility may exist where one or both arguing parents could end up in children being attacked and abused. This may happen if one or both parents are so distraught with each other that it also involves having children involved in the dispute. Domestic abuse is bad enough; child abuse is just as bad. Disputes should never come down to violence, but it happens.

IMPORTANT: If domestic abuse occurs, contact local authorities, file a police report, or even contact domestic abuse hotlines or qualified healthcare professionals.


Argument, Followed By Divorce.

Maybe the best thing to happen to a couple is to end the relationship. This can be a good way to settle matters without inflicting violence. A peaceful end to a relationship is better than things providing an uncomfortable experience at home. If children experience divorce, it will feel like someone helpful is now gone. Depending on how involved someone is with children, this can range from not missing anything to not having a major ally. This situation involves money and certain claims.


Or maybe...


Argument, Then Make Up.

Maybe parents can have their argument and learn to be happy together again. Forgive and forget usually is not easy, but it happens. If disputes can be settled without any extreme disputes or retaliation, a loving balance along with togetherness helps a family stay together. At the moment, children can feel happy a dispute ends and that happiness is restored. Resolutions like this can make a family stronger.


No matter what situation(s) arise, these are moments that can change lives radically.




Aftercare From Arguing Parents


What happens after arguing parents have had their say? It is time to think about people can move on.


Aftercare: Arguing Parents.

If a dispute is settled or no longer wanting to be together, what happens next is thinking about how to move on after tough times. Some parents can deal with these moments better than others. It could result in families being closer together and more powerful. If things come down to divorce, handling financial matters is key in moving forward. This can take some time if the process gets hairy. Most important is to remember to still be a loving parent. And speaking of...


Aftercare: Children.

Offering a sense of assurance to affected children is helpful once parents drop their abuse. Children may not be powerful enough to serve as individuals who can diffuse an intense situation as arguing parents. They can, though, be factors in whether such situations get settled. Children have to make sure they do not let parental matters impact their chain of thought or how they live their lives independent of arguing parents. In more extreme cases, children may have to join other family members or possibly go to foster home care to be treated properly just to get away from hostile parents.


Aftercare: The Family.

As long as disputes aren't a combination of the arguing couple along with children, these should be moments to bring families together and make them stronger. If divorce or moving on is what it takes for a family to become better again, the plan moving forward is to try to be better equipped for the future.


Coming up are final thoughts.




Children and Arguing Parents: Final Thoughts


Couples will argue and dispute things. If children are near or are involved, the psychological impacts will be on the couple and children. Most children usually are not part of the problem(s) that may exist among arguing parents. Despite this, it is understandable for children to be impacted by what happens when parents argue. Whether or not disputes get settled, keeping a family together will involve getting some professional help or even settling disputes without inflicting violence. Divorce may sometimes be the answer if the two can no longer get along and with no hope of resolving their issues.

Children are not powerful enough to get in the way and try to diffuse situations involving arguing parents. They can, though, be factors in how a family or a home can move forward after parents are done arguing. What should never happen is for children to suffer the same abuse and hostility parents may experience. Adding fuel to the fire never settles a dispute. Childrens' lives may be affected for a long time or lifelong the aftermath of arguing parents leads to being depressed and/or anxious.

If you can afford it, it helps to have some professional help available if you have those resources available. Most of these moments do not resolve themselves in short order. The pain can last for a very long time. Make sure you are ready to handle life after two parents are at odds.





I hope all of you do not get to experience something like this. If it does happen, though, recovery can be difficult, but very possible. Do not give up on hope, and do not do anything too rational. A lot is on the line regarding relationships among parents and also relationships among children. Do not squander or severely damage any sort of loving bond. Difficult topic, I know, but that is what I do here- discuss difficult topics and offer calming comments to help deal with such matters. I would appreciate your support if you enjoyed my material here. Subscribe/Follow my blog(s) in any capacity if you love my work. Share my blog post(s) with others if you enjoy my work. Support me further by connecting with me on social media; and if you are inclined, feel free to donate to me (tips/donations are voluntary but would be appreciated). Thank you for reading! Take care and be well.

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Thursday, February 29, 2024

Discussing Your Mental Health Issues

John B. Marine | February 29, 2024 | | Be the first to comment!
Discussing your mental health issues with others is a touchy topic. It can be a good thing to share your mental health issues. Conversely, it also can seem like making excuses, and not many people will buy your claims. It is a conversation you must try to make when you can. Especially if there are individuals you care about and think can be better people, you want to be able to express your mental health issues and try to get a better understanding with others.

I always want to stress you are not a failure or a disappointment just because you have mental health issues that deter your well-being. While it can be painful to discuss any mental health issues you have, releasing is better than holding back. Bottling up your emotions can only make things worse. If in crisis, there may be a point where your mental health ends up taking over your daily functions and may take you over the edge. You could either find yourself in a mental health mess, or you may become violently angry and hostile to where you do something that may be unforgivable to loved ones.

Be understanding and mindful that such mental health issues are real by people who admit them. Try to work with others and not do and say things that can only make their situation worse. RECOVERY IS POSSIBLE! Most of all, honestly share your issues in a non-violent and sincere matter. Do not discuss such manners casually if you are truly impacted by some mental health issues. Most of all, do not belittle or take advantage of someone who may be suffering mentally. We all must do what we can to help make life better for everyone. This includes friends, family, and others.





I am always looking to make a difference for others. Hopefully this post helps. Subscribe/Follow my blog(s) in any capacity if you love my work. Share my blog post(s) with others if you enjoy my work. Support me further by connecting with me on social media; and if you are inclined, feel free to donate to me (donations are voluntary but would be appreciated). Thank you for reading! Take care and be well.

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Sunday, February 18, 2024

Feeling Cursed

John B. Marine | February 18, 2024 | | | | Be the first to comment!
Feeling cursed makes you feel incapable of being happy or content. You may feel while cursed constantly tortured or be capable of little or no success. This can make living feel difficult. Being hopeless and depressed can result from feeling cursed. This is a casual post about feeling cursed.

When you feel cursed, you feel as if something anyone can easily do is a hassle or near impossible for you. You may also fear there will be that moment where you become broken down and humiliated. That moment may also make you fearful of even leaving your room or even your bed. It is something you may hear a lot among sports circles. It felt like a curse when decades passed from when the Boston Red Sox won the Championship in 2004 after last winning the World Series in 1918, and it also impacted the Chicago Cubs winning the Championship in 2016 after last winning it all in 1908. The thing to take from here is that failure and torture are never eternal.

Everyone is capable of great things; but when you feel cursed, you feel more likely to fail than do anything successful or noteworthy. For example, you may successfully prepare a delicious meal but still feel unable to be happy or satisfied. You may create a great work of art or compose a well-done song and still feel concerned. Feelings of being cursed can take over your life and make you feel less of yourself.

Sometimes, feeling cursed can stem from a host of bad experiences and missed opportunities. If you feel your failures impact you more than your successes, then feeling cursed makes you feel like you are only capable of wrong. You were meant to be amazing and do amazing things. When you feel cursed, the only things you feel you can do is amazingly fail. Any feelings of not being good enough or not being capable of greatness only make us not give full effort often times because the end result of failure is inevitable.


Do You Need Spiritual Guidance If You Feel Cursed?

Some people who feel cursed actually believe in evil spirits impacting their lives. Therefore, some spiritual help can help drive away demons and spirits who feel they are cursing others' souls.


Some Final Thoughts.

Do not ever feel you are not able to enjoy success. Not everyone gets it right or has the best of days constantly. Everyone is going to experience lulls and shortcomings. If you feel cursed, just remember not everything wrong with the world is your doing. Everyone has their demons. Not every demon is focused on you. All you can do is keep going and hope for the best in each moment of your life. Never give up on any opportunities or feel you are not able to accomplish certain things. Everyone who feel cursed will eventually break out of their curses. If you feel you need spiritual guidance to help you break being cursed, seek help from spiritual sources. Everyone is capable of greatness. Feeling cursed can limit your success, but do not let feeling cursed undermine your ability to do great things for yourself and others. Curses do not last forever. You will break free from being cursed with good fortune and luck. Just do not give up in your pursuit of greatness.





I often times do not like discussing tough topics because they sometimes make me feel depressed simply mentioning them. There is a reason for this, though. At least this shows I am mindful of things that impact our lives. Moreover, I care about providing solutions and advice. So hopefully this discussion was to your liking. I also hope I was able to help you any way I could. Subscribe/Follow my blog(s) in any capacity if you love my work. Share my blog post(s) with others if you enjoy my work. Support me further by connecting with me on social media; and if you are inclined, feel free to donate to me (donations are voluntary but would be appreciated). Thank you for reading! Take care and be well.

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Monday, December 18, 2023

Rejection Because of Kindness?

John B. Marine | December 18, 2023 | | | | Be the first to comment!
Speaking kindly about someone usually should be complimentary. Especially from the heart, it should be uplifting to express kindness. You are trying to show love and respect; not flirting or anything like that. Recently, I endured a situation that I had some pain trying to process in my mind. I will use this space to express something that I still feel horrible about that I felt was not my fault at all. As per usual, I am hoping my experiences will help other people relate and find ways to cope with certain situations. Let's talk!






Rejection Because of Kindness?


Allow me to set the story up.

I often times like to randomly show my appreciation for people by posting kind messages to others. I don't need a special situation or day to do so. I am someone who appreciates people being in your life and those who help you feel happy and maybe mean something to your life.

Last week, I endured what I considered a bad week on Twitch. I am admittedly a chatty person because I want to feel connected to what I love. I do not want to feel like I am just another soul, though technically, I am just another soul. I was banned from Chat on two different channels. One was from discussing something that I felt was not wrong in any such way, the other was from maybe expressing some kind words. The latter situation is what I will be discussing.

The channel's Chat I was banned from is from an up-and-coming DJ and producer whom I've supported by visiting Chat and even buying some songs from this personality online. I've been supportive and enjoyed my time Chatting with others along with the musician. Sometimes, I felt like I am left out or sometimes ignored. I felt connected, but not really connected to that community. I even made some complimentary and appreciative comments on Discord. I felt this showing of kindness, while not flirting or anything of that nature, probably led to me being banned from Chat on that channel. Afterwards, I immediately unfollowed that Channel and all or most social media connections from the musician.

I offered kind and supportive words, and somehow it's taken as something offensive enough to get banned from Chat on someone's Twitch channel? I did not use any sort of inflammatory words or try to flirt with the person. I simply said things along the lines of (not the exact quote), "thank you for your wonderful streams this year. I'm glad to have followed your channel this year and even buy your music online." What happened after? I get banned from Chat on that channel, possibly from kind words I offered elsewhere.

Being the depressed soul, I felt like I did wrong when I felt I was doing right. I even went to bed a bit earlier that night once I learned of showing respect ended up getting you rejected instead of respect. I felt this was another setback and also committing another mistake. Or at least, I committed something that regarded like a mistake rather than trying to be kind.


If you felt this sounds foul, let's discuss this further.




Rejection Because of Kindness? A Further Breakdown


I feel the world has too much negativity. I also feel not much love and respect is genuine. There are those who simply want to be kind to certain individuals for the sake of being kind or because of trying to boost one's "cool appeal." I do not think that way. If there is someone whom I feel is a great person, I let that person know. Depending on how great, I express my own happiness for how much that person means to me and that person's work.

No person in one's own correct mind would ever tell a loved one or someone the person loves to (for example) "go die in a hole," right? You wouldn't wish a loved one to get involved in a dangerous incident or get sick from a potentially fatal disease, would you? Of course not. But at the same time, you do want to say things to others to show your appreciation for them. If one person is hoping to get a job after an interview, you want to hope that person gets the job. You allow your heart to be open and express your support. Yes- words can be as powerful as actions, though actions are often stronger than words. Yet still, words still hold a lot of power.

The only situation(s) where I feel kindness can lead to rejection is if someone is only saying kind things and doing kind things only to be kind. You know- not being sincere about offering support. It may also be possible if someone may intentionally say something things taken as backhanded compliments. However, if you are someone who constantly says kind things to someone and the recipient sees it either as being fake or always being nice, it leads to rejection to those who you feel connected with. It shouldn't be this way! Sadly, though, it can be taken in a negative context.


Explaining Ways.

I have been a person who has had episodes of depression. I had people who I thought were friends feel like they betrayed me. I may even meet people whom I thought were friends, until they either show their true colors to me or direct me to some discussion either illegal or some scam. I feel like I did nothing wrong, yet still I no longer am friends with someone or no longer supportive of me. So because of this, I cherish and admire those whom I feel haven't betrayed me or appreciate what I do for others. There have been people I've encountered who have helped me through some tough times and even served as people I could talk to about my problems. I appreciate those whom have helped me along the way as well as those who help me feel better about myself in life and in general.

Therefore, I feel the need to express my appreciation and respect for others. Do I HAVE to express kindness on a personal level? No. Do I WANT to express kindness on a personal level? Yes. If I feel someone is a great person, I want to express that level of love and respect to that person. I want to show I am real and have been positively influenced. Using the musician as an example, I always have been supportive even to point to buying that musician's music. Maybe if I was traveling, I would even want to go to live shows for that musician. However, to be so kind and supportive to the point of financial support leading to being rejected by that entity, I almost felt like I have wasted my life trying to be kind and supportive.


Showing Respect in a Community Analogy.

The analogy I like to give regarding respect is with restaurants. If you love dining at a major fast food chain, you are just another figure who loves the company, and not many people among that fast food chain would really care about you. This is even though you do matter to that fast food chain's success. However, if you love dining from some small family's kitchen or a small business restaurant, you are like family. It is the reason why I sometimes avoid more popular platforms because it is like getting lost in a big rock concert. As much as you say and personally mean "I love you" or "you're the best," you're drowned out among other people who feel the same way. I don't want to be ignored or seen as something less of a supporter.


Can You Be Respectful Without Being Hateful?

I do understand it is unrealistic to always support someone and always agree with something. Though, nobody wants to be an out-and-out hater. You can always respectfully disagree with things. If being rejected for always being kind, you can always offer constructive criticism and respectful disagreement on things without getting on the hateful side of someone. Remember you are not telling someone you love and respect anything negative. What you want to do is show your support in your own way. The hope is that it is accepted and appreciated. Sometimes, though, it may get misinterpreted or make you feel like a superficial friend or fan of that individual or those individuals. If you get rejected, you feel your respect is going for nothing; and as a result, you want to disassociate yourself as much as possible from whom you originally thought was someone that you truly loved and respected. You end up feeling less of a person because you felt you were doing wrong when all you were trying to do was be kind to people.


Pretty betraying material in this blog post, isn't it? Well, I'll offer some final thoughts next.




Rejection Because of Kindness? Final Thoughts


Do not stop being kind. Do not stop voicing your overall love, respect, and appreciation for others. Support those you love as best as you can and as much as you can. If you try to offer your respect to those you feel are warranting of it, you have done nothing wrong. You have only done wrong when you are either insincere, offer it as a backhanded compliment, or if it is taken in the wrong context. Love and appreciation should be commended, not lead to rejection by the party(-ies) at large. Sadly, some people dislike compliments or don't appreciate being complimented. So you do have to be careful if you like offering your appreciation of others. Again, though- do not stop expressing kindness to those who you feel have made a positive impact on your life.





This has been both a helpful post and a mini-rant. Regardless, I am glad you found some special value in this post. Here is my discussion question to you if you wish to discuss:

Even if not everyone takes compliments easily, should you still prefer your appreciation to others? Also, should showing appreciation for others be warranting of rejection by some individuals?

"John's Life Space" is a blog about various life issues ranging from comical to serious. If you found value in my blog post and want more of my material, please be sure to connect with me and my work. Subscribe/Follow my blog(s) in any capacity if you love my work. Share my blog post(s) with others if you enjoy my work. Support me further by connecting with me on social media; and if you are inclined, feel free to donate to me (donations are voluntary but would be appreciated). Thank you for reading! Take care and be well.

Visit my JohnMarineDesigns Weebly site, subscribe to My Blog(s), and/or Follow on Bloglovin! Let's connect:
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Tuesday, October 31, 2023

Not Your Day

John B. Marine | October 31, 2023 | | | | Be the first to comment!
Many days of the year we look forward to and enjoy. Some others, though, not so much. Everyone has certain days of the week or in the year that they fear or have bad memories of. Saying that today is Halloween, this is my day I've feared most. A day that doesn't seem so lucky means you are on heightened alert for trying not to do something that makes you feel horrible inside. Even some simple mistakes can have you feeling horrible.

Always remember each day does not go as planned, and not every day is a good one. It is natural to have good and bad days. What becomes concerning is when a certain day or certain time of year is associated with you having some of your worst memories. My Halloween memories have been bad for me, ranging from being suspended for fighting to having my last day at a university when I was hoping to work towards my previous major of computer animation.

If you are not having a good day, one thing to be happy about is that you are still living, and you did all you could to live a certain day. Things could be much worse than what you experienced or done in a certain day. A bad day should just come and go. Move on to the next day, because tomorrow is a new day. Each upcoming moment should be times for you to try to have better times than what you experienced the previous day.

When it comes to a certain day of the year or days of the year where you begin to cringe, don't look at those days as opportunities to fail. Instead, treat them like you can have a better time on that specific day than you've experienced in the past. For example, you may fear April Fool's Day (which I think should be banned, but that's another story), but the next April Fool's Day could possibly go great for you instead of adding to a certain day being a nightmare for you. All you got to do is just live life as best as you can. It will not be easy, but it is better than cowering in fear or feeling like the heavens do not like you on that day.





That's it for another post of "John's Life Space." This is a blog where I am real and transparent discussing various life issues. I am here to discuss life issues with you all and offer help where I can. If you appreciate this effort, please Subscribe/Follow this blog and my others in some capacity. If you enjoy my work, please Subscribe/Follow my blog(s) in any capacity if you love my work and want to support me any way you can. Share my blog post(s) with others if you enjoy my work. Thank you for reading! Take care and be well.

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Monday, May 29, 2023

Can You Fear Your Own Anger?

John B. Marine | May 29, 2023 | | | Be the first to comment!
Being angry is a natural feeling among humans. Some people have controlled anger while others may have explosive anger. However, when you fear your own anger, you have angrophobia. Angrophobia suggests one can become so angry that he/she/they may fear damaging property, viciously injuring someone (including oneself), or even killing someone (even oneself) on their angry rage. It is as if someone's anger can be so vicious that even the one who gets incredibly angry is afraid of his/her/their own anger. It is that feeling of being overwhelmed by something so powerful within you. You realize and respect this awesome force and succumb to this force. I will share some more thoughts on this matter through this blog post.






Fearing Your Own Anger


Anger is a natural emotion to have and express. It is also okay to be frustrated from time to time. While it is okay to be angry or frustrated, how one handles being angry can make a big difference towards how people see you. Can a person handle being angry in a healthy way, or can one's angry rage only be stopped by that individual? Those who respect and acknowledge having anger problems often times can feel scared of their own anger.

Depending on the situation, one can become mildly angry or even become extremely angry. One's own rage can be enough to perform catastrophic damage to all in an enraged person's path and surroundings. Enraged individuals can do things such as punch holes in walls, damage property, scream loudly, grit one's teeth, and at the worst- commit violence and injure (or even kill) individuals. Being angry causes us to act in ways usually out of our character. A mild-mannered person who is generally kind can become a savage beast when one's anger is pushed to one's breaking point. Anger becomes this force that consumes us and turns us into savages. Once we let our anger loose, it can be difficult to control or suppress. Anger makes us do things we would never do on the normal and in a controlled state.

Those who are unable to manage their anger in healthy ways end up doing damage to more than just property or life. Some people even risk severing ties to family and loved ones. This can be critical in relationships. A parent upset about one's child or children doing bad in school/college or committing some crime(s) can result in the parent being so angry that he/she may borderline on child abuse or assault. A couple may have one or the other be so angry over some dispute that domestic violence may be involved.

I am transparent in my blogs, so let me admit- I can get intensely angry or frustrated. I got into trouble in the past at school because of my anger. I sometimes fear becoming scared of my own anger. While I don't consider myself a ticking time bomb, I do admit I can be consumed from my own anger if I reach my breaking point or am provoked beyond my level of tolerance.


Control Anger Before it Controls You!

It is okay to be angry, but just make sure you do not become too angry that you risk being a savage beast. Some people can not contain their own anger. Some who can not control their own anger end up being uncontrollable and unstable. If one is confrontational and belligerent, this can only enhance the impact of one's anger. They may even find themselves having to be strapped into a straitjacket, even end up in a mental hospital, or even jail/prison.


How to Treat Your Anger.

The best way to prevent the worst possible scenario is to seek ways to control your anger. One method is to take deep breaths when angry. One can also exercise to try to get one's mind right when dealing with anger. For more extreme (and potentially expensive) ways to manage anger, one might want to arrange with a psychologist or a psychotherapist for treatment.

Whatever it takes to manage your anger and avoid committing non-reversible damage to life and property, do so. You are a much more sane person when not intensely angry. You act in ways different in a controlled state than you are when uncontrollably angry. Keep it that way to avoid becoming a savage.


Final Thoughts.

While anger is a natural emotion, it can become a serious concern when one's anger becomes too uncontrollable to where life and property are threatened. Despite the fact that anger is common and natural, it can be concerning when one's anger can be so powerful that even that angry individual can become so angry that they fear their own anger and what damage he/she may likely commit. Anger can be controlled. Do not let your own anger consume you, especially if you fear your own anger will make you do something you could regret for the rest of your life.

You are not a bad person just because you have violent anger. It just means you need help keeping yourself in check when faced with anger. Anger is an awesome force that can be contained and controlled. Do whatever it takes and take advantage of any available resources to help make sure you control your anger. Most of all, try not to feel so fearful of your anger. Instead, just try to manage your anger in healthy and non-destructive, non-violent ways.





Well, that's it for my discussion about anger and fearing your own anger. If you enjoy my work, please Subscribe/Follow my blog(s) in any capacity if you love my work and want to support me any way you can. Share my blog post(s) with others if you enjoy my work. Thank you for reading! Take care and be well.

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Tuesday, March 7, 2023

Transgender Acceptance and Inclusion

John B. Marine | March 07, 2023 | | | | | | Be the first to comment!
Recent controversy by a major candy maker has inspired me to discuss transgender acceptance and inclusion. As the LGBT community is being better accepted, transgender acceptance and inclusion is still a major hurdle. This blog discussion of transgender acceptance and inclusion may not solve any transgender issues, but it will be a chance to discuss transgenders being better accepted and included in a number of arenas and outlets.






Transgender Acceptance and Inclusion


Let me start this post by sharing the inspiration for this topic.

Hershey's Chocolate [of Canada] generated controversy recently when promoting their "HerSHE" candy. The controversy involves a transgender woman being among real females. In today's changing culture, a lot of people think this is an excellent move for a transgender woman to be regarded and respected as a woman. The anti-transgender crowd, however, thought much differently. Some even used the saying, "women are born not worn." This 2023 Hershey's HerSHE campaign fueled the desire of me to discuss transgender acceptance and inclusion.


In Case You're Interested...

Check out this brief piece that helped spark my discussion on transgender acceptance and inclusion:



^ "Hershey's Women's Day campaign featuring trans activist sparks backlash"


In addition to this bit of controversy, a number of different state governments in the United States are ruling things like drag queen shows as punishable crimes. There is still a great deal of transphobia ranging from violence and discrimination against transgenders. A number of transgenders have lost their lives due to senseless violence.

The LGBT community is still very much trying to get more support and bearings, but it is still an uphill struggle to be accepted and included. Some people think transgenders are more along the lines of those who *choose* to be a gender other than their birth gender. For example, it is like (in the minds of a transphobe) a male chooses for a day to be a female rather than accept that a male at birth identifies as and acts as a female. I even remember when a female-to-male transgender became pregnant. Regardless of the gender preference of an individual, it is best to respect and acknowledge those preferences along with preferred pronouns. If a male prefers any pronouns, respect that. If a female prefers "he/him/they," respect those pronouns and use them.


Until transgenders are better accepted by the general public, we have to strive towards helping them get the respect and attention they aspire. How do we work towards transgenders being better accepted and included? I'll begin by discussing acceptance. Next section, please.




Transgender Acceptance


A lot of people mostly think of transgender types either as crossdressing or something comical. As if most people believe some transgender types really enjoy *playing* as their opposite gender. LGBT+ as it stands is already an exercise in trying to be accepted. Being transgender is even more a difficult deal to try to be accepted. Transgenders simply want to be accepted and acknowledged for their gender preference(s). Perhaps the bigger issue would involve those who legally and medically have proper transgender transition going. Even those who still have their preferences towards gender should be respected for their choices.

A person's gender preference is as important and as intimate as a person's name. As much as someone hates being called out of their name, a person hates to be misgendered. Even if an M2F transgender specifically prefers being referred to as a she/her, she hates being referred to as a he/him. What could be a less stressing circumstance is if the transgender person prefers any or all pronouns.

I do think as the LGBT community is becoming better accepted, there eventually will be fewer transphobic types. You can't eliminate transphobia, but it can surely be curbed. The problem is that not many people are willing to accept certain transgenders.


Transgender Acceptance: Transgender Youth.

My biggest fear among transgenders is with transgender youth. One of the brightest beacons and hopes for the transgender community is Jazz Jennings. Having such a supportive family and actually going through with all the different nuances of transitioning properly has been handled nicely by Jazz and her family. Even if you never seen "I Am Jazz," just know Jazz was a little boy who always known she was a girl in a boy's body. The extensive experiences by Jazz has helped her to become the beautiful and strong woman she is today.

Most transgender youth, however, do not have such support that Jazz Jennings got. Some siblings actually get kicked out of their houses by their parents or relatives for being any denomination of LGBT, let alone transgender. I remembered the first transgender I've ever known how she hated to be kicked out of her house by her grandmother just because she's transgender. This was in my college days, but being transgender in grade school can be damaging. Imagine being 17 or younger and out of a house because of being transgender.

Young transgenders could be faced with such a tough life ahead, so it is best to work with them as well as offer hope and protection to them. It is best to give them hope rather than let them feel worthless. If you are a parents of a transgender (or even a genderqueer) individual at 17 or younger, try to work with them to ensure they will be okay for years to come. Among peers, respect a transgender and whatever pronouns and gender identity a young transgender may prefer.


This is all a tough subject. Now coming up, I discuss transgender inclusion.




Transgender Inclusion


As someone who follows fashion, the feeling of inclusion is what a lot of people want to have. Fashion designers have been more open to designing clothes for many more figures and even for the LGBT community. Hershey's offering inclusion for transwomen as part of the "HerSHE" campaign is commendable. It is commendable even if the anti-transgender crowd think Hershey's should be ashamed for including a transwoman to be among cisgender women. Playboy Magazine, known for their sultry models, even showcased a transgender model in the magazine's long history. There is certainly inclusion among certain entities to include transgenders.

Transgenders do not believe they are their birth gender. Some people experience gender dysphoria, the feeling of being dissatisfied with their birth gender or preferred gender. Some people wanting to transition have hated their lives living as their birth gender and want to start anew as another gender. A transgender can be very young or even be north of age 50. Regardless- all transgenders want to be included and respected.

I think a lot of people tend to look at transgenders as monsters. Fact is- transgenders are human beings as any other human. Unless guilty of committing legitimate crimes, they should be included among the rest of the world. The trouble to all of this is that transgenders have a tough time being included. Some just fail to see the person and only latch onto gender. Until more people are accepted for their personality and their abilities, this will continue to be an issue.


Allow me to close out this one with some final thoughts.




Transgender Acceptance and Inclusion: Final Thoughts


Transgender acceptance and inclusion can be tough to come by. Though in today's culture, it is becoming better accepted in a number of countries. A changing culture means that current culture has to keep up with new changes. Those changes include better accepting the LGBT community, including transgenders.

Acceptance for the transgender community begins with giving hope, protection, and respect to transgenders. Transgenders should be able to be accepted into the workforce and stay in families. Acceptance among transgenders also mean respecting the gender(s) and pronoun(s) they prefer. The acceptance process can be tougher for transgender youth, as the stakes can be higher for them. Parents who refuse to be as supportive to young transgenders can run the risk of severing the bonds of parent-sibling for the rest of a young transgender's life. So special care is needed to prevent the chances of some serious distrust.

Transgender inclusion is as big an issue as acceptance. It helps knowing a transgender can be accepted in a given space and not be subject to any kind of discrimination. If my earlier examples of inclusion were of any indication, I am sure more companies and environments will be more inclusive and respectful of transgenders.

I do feel LGBT types will be better accepted, at least here in the United States of America. If we can get over the mindset that transgenders are monsters or diseased, we can better accept them as people and with the proper pronouns they prefer. It took ages for racial injustice to be curbed. We can do the same for the LGBT community, including transgenders. Unless a transgender is guilty of legitimate crimes or commits crimes, all transgenders should be respected equally as non-transgender individuals.


For More Information...

I have a list of helpful resources for everyone, but I have a special set of helpful resources for the LGBT community. You may view my LGBT resources at LGBT Resources on John's Life Space.





I hope you found this post helpful and assuring. If you enjoy my work, please Subscribe/Follow my blog(s) in any capacity if you love my work and want to support me any way you can. Share my blog post(s) with others if you enjoy my work. Thank you for reading! Take care and be well.

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Thursday, March 2, 2023

Asking for a Friend

John B. Marine | March 02, 2023 | | | | Be the first to comment!
What has become the latest trendy phrase is "asking for a friend." The concept works like this- rather than the person in question ask for advice, his/her/their friend asks for them. Can another person be trusting enough to legitimately ask a question to someone else and get proper advice?

I actually think this is a legitimate concept if one actually is too afraid to ask on one's own. However, I do not think one person should feel overly embarrassed. If someone wanted to visit my blog(s) for advice on something, it's here for you- no need to ask, not really any shame if you have such concerns.


Asking for a Friend: Sample Scenario.

Okay- let us set up a scenario. Let's say a straight male has a romantic attraction to another male or a transgender woman, and he has questions regarding intimacy. That male would probably want to find out on his own answers to his questions, but he would feel embarrassed to ask on his own. So someone would tell a friend to get some answers speaking on his behalf. I think someone would have to be bold enough and trusting enough to help get answers to such questions.


Asking for a Friend: No "Friend?"

What if the "asking for a friend" was simply one person having an embarrasing question and not really asking on behalf of any person? This situation would be the kind of situation where someone can absolutely question the validity of asking others for advice. In a situation like this, the person would mostly pretend to ask for advice but is really lying about trying to ask a question on a friend's behalf when there is no one he/she/they asks for. Such people protect one's own character by pretending to ask on someone else's behalf when they are the ones wanting certain advice on something.


When Asking for a Friend Can Work.

The only real situation where I can see where asking for a friend works is if someone asks a friend about something to someone who may be tough to communicate with. For example, someone may want some advice from someone who may be tough to talk with. This is the only real situation where I can see asking for a friend actually working.


Final Thoughts on Asking For a Friend.

Salute to anyone who is willing to ask questions about things to other people on their behalf. I know it can be tough trying to ask on your own, but there is more credibility and honesty when you ask questions yourself or looking for answers on your own. It is okay to ask about embarrassing things to others. Especially if you have trust issues, it is best to ask about things on your own than rely on someone else to ask on your behalf. Maybe if someone is tough to talk with about things, then it may be okay to ask for someone to try to talk with such individuals. Other than that, try to gather the courage to ask about things yourself. Preserve your honesty and character by asking questions yourself that may embarrass or concern you rather than rely on friends.





At least... these are my thoughts regarding the whole "asking for a friend" thing. You are free to react any way you see fit. Or let me ask...

How do you feel about "asking for a friend" about certain things?

You have been reading "John's Life Space"- my blog about life issues! If you enjoyed your time here and want more discussion of various life issues, make sure to subscribe/follow my work here! Recommend this blog to others if you find my topics and advice helpful. Thank you for reading! Take care and be well.

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Wednesday, February 1, 2023

Developing Other Passions

John B. Marine | February 01, 2023 | Be the first to comment!
No matter what profession you aspire to, it is always nice to know of other passions and hustles to indulge in. I began thinking about a lot of my personal friends and online friends and what they aspire to. Some have their dream jobs, some others develop other passions to enjoy and financially profit from. You can always train and work towards your dream job, but it doesn't hurt to get into other things. So I wanted to discuss having other passions.






Developing Other Passions


A college friend of mine enjoyed being a DJ. Later, he took on photography. Someone else I knew mostly did fashion design, but recently took up real estate. A fashion blogger took up wine and champagne. Occupations seem forever, but even the most lucrative jobs won't provide the best long-term solutions. So it is always great to take on new jobs. Actually, some of my friends have taken on real estate lately. Maybe since the housing market here in Houston has been hot lately, it was possibly good to take on being a real estate agent.

In some cases, you have a dream job in mind, but some number of factors prevent you from working your dream job. For example, you may choose to be a professional basketball player, but you may have suffered one too many injuries to competitively play basketball. So what one would do is take on some other occupation. Go find something else you can take part in and have a decent career with. If you don't get into basketball, try something like professional gaming or streaming. Just find something to occupy your time and that you can hopefully enjoy.


How to Get Into Other Passions?

Find something you like. If not that, have some interest in something, and then try to get interested in it. Just don't force yourself into any side hustle or other passion that does not interest you in the least sense.

I try to occupy myself in various creative outlets so I keep myself busy. I may get into 3D modeling at one point, but then change over to making music. I may also try to work on being a better cook at times. I always keep myself busy. I don't think I could completely develop a new fondness and make it a lucrative venture. I think it is best to develop a fondness and then try to possibly find some way to make it into a career or even make profit.


What if You Are Into a Passion That May Not be Wholesome?

You are free to get into any sort of passion outside of your main one. However, what if you may be into something someone else may disapprove? Maybe you want to get into something like wine making, (assuming you are a male) being a drag queen, or getting into the adult entertainment industry. Obviously, your parents would hate seeing you get involved into some sort of other passion that isn't wholesome. It is possible you may be into the adult entertainment industry while your lover may disapprove of you showing off your body to the world while still taken (or even married).

The reality is that you are your own person, and you are in charge of the decisions you want to make in your life. So while others may disapprove of your choices, who is making the career decisions ultimately- you or somebody else? Is being in someone else's shadow preventing you from getting into anything that highly interests you? Be sure to weigh your options before considering taking part in any sort of passion that interests you.




Developing Other Passions - Final Thoughts


Always have different interests and hobbies in mind. In case you are working towards your beloved passion or are taking part in your beloved passion, always think of other things you have interest in for which your beloved passion fails. It doesn't hurt to get into other passions or learn how to do other things. Don't be forced into thinking of other hobbies. Go with something you love or have some vested interest in. You are best served staying active rather than staying stagnant.





No matter what you enjoy, it always helps to have other passions to get into. So keep at it and be your own brand of awesome! If you enjoy my work, please Subscribe/Follow my blog(s) in any capacity if you love my work and want to support me any way you can. Share my blog post(s) with others if you enjoy my work. Thank you for reading! Take care and be well.

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