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"John's Life Space" features a variety of content to many audiences. The majority of content is meant to suit an audience 13 years of age and older. Some material offered in this blog may not be suitable for all audiences and may include some topics too sensitive or discomforting to discuss. All advice offered in this blog is not meant to replace or substitute practical help. If you require counseling or want more professional help, please consult your healthcare provider, a psychologist, or any other qualified individual.

Sunday, May 2, 2021

Belong

John B. Marine | May 02, 2021 | | | Be the first to comment!
Being part of a community and being respected among a general audience makes us feel better inside. This ability to belong makes us all feel better inside. However, what happens when wanting to belong doesn't work? Depending on how people take it, not being able to belong in any circle leads to loneliness or feeling as if you are not fit for this world. Is it something you need to do to better fit in with others? Do you simply need to be around better people? No matter what the case, feeling as if you belong is a warming feeling. That is what I hope to discuss in this blog post.

Before I begin, I can't believe I haven't updated this blog since January 2021 until this post. You all deserve more of my posts and more of my own posts regarding various aspects of life. So enjoy this latest post I have for you all!






Belong


The ability to belong among others can be helpful in establishing community or feeling loved. When you belong with others, there is unity and happiness. That unity and happiness goes away when one feels left out or not cared enough. Granted most people try not to be the center of attention, most others do not want to always steal the spotlight or seem more important than others. If some people do feel left out and try to get along with others, then some people may try to belong with others through almost any means- even to the point of doing something damaging or troublesome.

I have been a part of multiple online forums as well as streaming chats where I felt either connected or disconnected. I try to get involved with as many different communities as possible. I may even try to learn the lingo and language of a community to better fit in. I will even vastly support the communities I try to be a part of. However, if I feel I am not as connected anymore or if I seem no longer loved or needed, I'll leave. I chose to be part of a community, and I also have the power to leave a community and no longer support it if I feel unwanted or not needed. The pain of leaving such communities often gets to me at times. If I feel I am no longer wanted or no longer feel connected, I may feel it is the right call to leave for (sometimes) forever. There is yet for me to feel like wanting to rejoin a community or service I left for whatever reason(s).

Through a good bit of 2021, I found myself Unfollowing various Twitch channels I either felt like I didn't belong anymore, or that I didn't feel I could go any further supporting and being a part of. This leads to me feeling more lonely at times than previously. Depending on how shunned I feel, I may even go as far as blocking certain channels just to get certain bad memories out of my mind. There were also some channels where I just seemed to no longer visit regularly. This is all on me for not visiting as often as I could. Even still, I didn't want to feel like I am only adding to Follower count without actually visiting channels when I can.


A Weakness Admitted.

If there is one thing I feel I am weak at, it is teamwork and trying to establish an audience. I feel as if my own thoughts and my own suggestions do not matter much. This resulted in some of my college efforts with team assignments coming up short. When it comes to chatting online, I feel I am not as regarded or loved much. So while some people even go as far as spamming words to say annoying text-to-speech messages and talking about certain toilet humor, I often feel left out. This discrepancy leads to me not being able to belong in certain spaces.


Let's talk more about belonging with others in various aspects.




Belonging: Different Applications


To understand belonging better, let me describe various situations.


Belonging: In Families.

Your family should be the best friends you'll ever have and those who understand you best. Some people, though, feel disconnected from their family for whatever reason. So when you feel like you don't belong in your own family, you become very left out. Some family members who feel like they don't belong feel as if they are disregarded or not as loved as they could be.

Some family members may also have certain stepparents whose philosophies and personalities apart from what you believe in. This can also contribute to not feeling like you belong.

Belonging: Among Friends.

Meeting new people and associating yourself with circles of friends make us all connected and loved. But, what happens when you feel like you are no longer loved or needed? You may face a time where those you thought you were cool with ultimately either turn their back(s) on you or make you feel you either no longer matter or feel replaced.


Belonging: Your Love Life.

When a bond is just you and someone you love, not feeling you belong is depressing, as you have only one person who you truly care about. That same person, though, could make you feel you don't belong or feel supported any longer. These can lead to a number of issues. The least of which include isolation, depression, and in the worst cases- violence and abuse.


Belonging: Communities.

You likely chose to join a certain community. When you feel like you do not belong in a certain community, that is where you feel left out and want to go elsewhere. It is the feeling of trying to stand out in a crowd. A lot of times it works; most other times, not so much. What you want to avoid is feeling as if you need to do something dramatic or hurtful to try to gain attention. Then, you run the risk of being even less like you belong and potentially get into trouble. There were message boards and Twitch channels where I haven't felt welcomed or loved anymore. I even tried to refrain from chatting often times because I know I will probably not be heard, not be cared about, and feel like I am only getting in the way of other people enjoying certain content. The last thing I want to do is feel like I am not contributing in any positive sense in any community I am a part of or try to get involved with.


Wanting to belong can take on a number of different instances. How we handle these emotions make us either happy or sad depending on the situation.




Belong: Final Thoughts


We all deserve to belong among any circle of friends we wish to be associated with. We also deserve to feel like we belong among others. Establishing community and being cared for is what many of us long for. However, belonging and wanting to belong with others can be a great challenge. We need certain people who make us feel welcome. You may need to adjust your personality and style to fit in better; but otherwise, it helps to try to belong with others. If you feel you belong but the ones you belong with don't connect with you, either those persons have to adjust their actions, or you can always leave. Life is best enjoyed when everyone can be around others who make us feel whole, complete, respected, and most of all... belong.





That concludes this blog post. Hopefully I will create more blog posts to keep this blog going. Special thanks to everyone who offered resources to my "Helpful Resources" page. I hope I can provide more online resources to help you all out. In the meanwhile, thank you for reading! Take care and be well.

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