JOHN'S LIFE SPACE DISCLAIMER:

"John's Life Space" features a variety of content to many audiences. The majority of content is meant to suit an audience 13 years of age and older. Some material offered in this blog may not be suitable for all audiences and may include some topics too sensitive or discomforting to discuss. All advice offered in this blog is not meant to replace or substitute practical help. If you require counseling or want more professional help, please consult your healthcare provider, a psychologist, or any other qualified individual.

Wednesday, July 4, 2018

LGBT Issues

John Marine | July 04, 2018 | | Be the first to comment!
#LGBT matters are part of "John's Life Space" being a positive space. Part of making this blog a positive space is considering all parties. You can think whatever you want about LGBT types. To me, I do what I can to make everyone feel happy and respected- even including those who are lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, intersex, genderqueer, panssexual, asexual, and the like. If you have a problem (or problems) with LGBT people, that is perfectly fine. However, they are as much of people as you and I. So to continue to provide positive material to many audiences, I will offer some general LGBT thoughts in this blog post.

NOTE 1: This blog post may contain material that may not be suitable for all audiences. You are reading this material at your own risk.

NOTE 2: I am not an expert in LGBT matters. I am sure I will say things that are not true. Please go easy on me if I screw anything up. Unlike most other places online, I want this to be positive and educational in regards to this topic. So please help me if I screw something up.


About the Label: "LGBT Issues"

These are topics of particular interest towards LGBT types. These include topics related to lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, intersex, and others. Readers and visitors to these topics do not need to be any capacity of LGBT to understand or care about these topics. However, these can be educational to help better understand this community.






LGBT Issues in General


I will spend some time now to generally discuss LGBT matters.

LGBT flag issues
^ from: www.aarp.org (best I could find) - This blog post will introduce LGBT matters to "John's Life Space" including my credentials on LGBT issues.


LGBT Issues: Genreal Overview.

LGBT has been seen as a novelty or as something comical. However, people do have and express their LGBT pride. The community has been more accepting of LGBT matters of late compared to times in the past. Being any capacity of LGBT can be a problem in most cultures and countries. You can be generally accepted by a general audience in the United States; but in some countries, you can face such penalties for being any capacity of LGBT- including the death penalty.

Most of my own thoughts regarding certain LGBT issues are based on my own opinions on how I see certain issues. I actually research some of my topics either before or during making material online. This even means getting into not-very-wholesome topics- such as LGBT intimacy. I want to gain a general understanding before I end up posting something online. This will limit the amount of backlash or destructive criticism I may face.


LGBT Issues: My Credentials.

I always known it to be GLBT before being labeled as LGBT. When it comes to LGBT matters, I feel I am the most educated in transgender matters. I had friends of mine date and even marry same-sex partners. I first began being curious about transgender types circa 2002. At the time, I was vastly uneducated about the community. There was someone who I chatted with on America Online (AOL these days, yet I still call AOL as America Online). This person was delightfully lovely despite being a male-to-female (M2F) transgender. Understandably, some people were disgusted that this person was (in their mind) a male in a dress.

There was one time at my community college when I went into the men's bathroom and encountered a male with feminine long hair. I thought he was rather handsome. We became friends after we chatted at times in school. This person would later become the first transgender person I ever known in person. We did see each other on campus a number of times, but I never known what happened to him since. He had a boyfriend all the while, and he has had some drug issues. So I didn't know what happened since.

Besides transgender issues, the only other kind of relation to LGBT matters is that I was once bi-curious. I have never entertained the thought of being with another man, but I had some thoughts. I may possibly explain issues like this further for when I start discussing certain LGBT issues further.


LGBT Issues on "John's Life Space."

When I introduce LGBT issues into "John's Life Space," these are all issues regarding and pertaining to the LGBT community. I can not guarantee my advice and commentary will be to everyone's liking, nor can I say topics in this category will all be wholesome. I may discuss everything LGBT-related ranging from simply being any capacity of LGBT or even gender dysphoria... to more sensitive issues- such as LGBT love and intimacy. LGBT issues will usually involve adults and adolescents, but there MAY be some LGBT issues regarding children. So chances are each topic may not be suitable to everyone in the LGBT category.




LGBT Issues: What to Expect?


This post may all seem basic, but when I discuss LGBT issue further, get ready for some commentary that will greatly suit the LGBT community and those who may be adversely affected. I absolutely will NOT discuss certain topics just to get all kinds of traffic (usually shady or of spam nature). I will meet such topics on an understandable and professional level. I am not here to spew hate or use sarcasm to any community.

Most of all, I want to feel as if I am helping others, especially in offering advice. I don't want people who need help coming in here feeling like I've disgraced them. I just want to hope I can make you feel better if you have related issues. Remember- you are NOT a failure because you seek advice from places like "John's Life Space." You can also request certain topic ideas if you have any.





I honor and respect all communities- including the aforementioned LGBT community. I hope you enjoyed your time here. Thank you for reading! Take care and be well.

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Wednesday, June 27, 2018

Online Psychiatry

John Marine | June 27, 2018 | | | Be the first to comment!
Mental health issues impact us all. A psychiatrist can help alleviate many of these troubles, especially troubles that impact our minds for the longest. So seeing a psychiatrist can be helpful in helping us deal with a number of different mental health-related issues. But what if you can not make the time to schedule seeing a psychiatrist when dealing with a busy work schedule? You can seek help from a psychiatrist online! At least you will be able to get the help you need in case you are unable to step into a local office to meet with a psychiatrist. This blog post will discuss a number of different matters in regards to psychiatry and seeking a psychiatrist.

NOTE: This blog post was created in a collaboration with BetterHelp. More information on BetterHelp will come later in this blog post.


About the Label: "Mental Health"

Issues pertaining to mental health are featured under this label.


About the Label: "Collaborations"

Blog posts done in partnership with other sources will be featured under the "Collaborations" label. Opinions and material are all personal input regardless of whom I am collaborating with with such posts.






Online Psychiatry


Let me talk through some of the finer points of seeking psychiatrists online. Consider the following...


Seeking Online Psychiatrists.

You know you need help. You often scour cyberspace for the hottest Internet memes or various viral videos. You try to seek hashtags to all kinds of material you post online. Why not put some time and effort into finding a psychiatrist online for issues that impact you mentally?

If anything is wonderful about this day and age, you do not need to go to a physical location to get whatever it is you desire. As an example, I personally am someone who is too fond of trying to find various material exclusively online, speaking as someone who still prefers having brick and mortar stores when online stores can offer more items. There are people who attend online programs at colleges and universities. You may not have the finances and such to live on campus or near campus at certain universities or colleges, but you can still get the same quality resources and education from these colleges and universities without ever having set foot into a classroom. Let us get back to more important and more relevant matters. The convenience of finding a psychiatrist online can be immensely convenient. It means you can able to get help from a psychiatrist without needing to step into one's physical office in much the same way you can get anything that can be procured without stepping into a physical location. When faced with mental health issues, no feeling is more assuring than knowing one thing can be taken off of your mind without needing to suffer any further issues in addition to your current mental health issues.

Even if you were physically capable and able to go to a psychiatrist's office, and even if you are okay with being in some psychiatrist's physical office; you can still get help from being on your computer or even your mobile device. Rates and prices will still be plenty capable for your time working with such individuals. The confidentiality of being with an online psychiatrist can be beneficial for those who can not make time to go to a proper physical psychiatrist's office. You still can gain the needed help from a trusted and genuine psychiatrist when you choose to work with an online psychiatrist.

The only possible concern with online psychiatrist help could lie in your own personal information and such being confidential. Despite possible cyber safety concerns, you are still mostly getting the help you can really use for whatever mental health issues impact you.


Is Online Psychiatry For You?

If you can not arrange time to visit a psychiatrist in person, or if you are uncomfortable being in an office with other patients, seeing an online psychiatrist may be for you. You still will need to properly be able to finance your sessions with a psychiatrist.


Where to Seek Online Psychiatrists?

You can easily pop into your preferred search engine of choice and search "psychiatrists online" to seek for psychiatrists in your area. You may even search services like BetterHelp to help link you to psychiatrists. Whatever the case, you are never too far away from getting the help you need... even if miles away geographically.


Final thoughts time. Get ready.




Online Psychiatry: Final Thoughts


Online psychiatric help can be just as beneficial and effective as going to the physical office of a psychiatrist. If you need help with your mental health and you know it, you are best served getting the help you need by seeking psychiatrists- even online. Get the help you need on your own time with quality psychiatric help with online psychiatry.






BetterHelp Resource


I created this blog post in association with BetterHelp. For more information on this topic with resources from BetterHelp, please visit the following link: Reasons to Choose An Online Psychiatrist|BetterHelp.

I would like to thank BetterHelp for reaching out to me and motivating me to produce this blog post.





I hope I have done all I can to help someone who may need the help. You are certainly welcome if I have helped you with this post. Thank you for reading! Take care and be well.

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Tuesday, June 26, 2018

Marriage Counseling

John Marine | June 26, 2018 | | | | Be the first to comment!
Love between two strangers is a beautiful thing that can lead to marriage. Married types will enjoy the best and worst of times together. When marriage reaches times of crisis, marriage counseling may help the longevity of a marriage. So marriage counseling can help make sure marriages last for as long as they can. In any attempt to help keep marriages going strong and staying strong, marriage counseling can go a long way to helping make sure married couples stay together long enough. When should you consider marriage counseling? What are the benefits of seeking marriage counseling? Is there anything wrong seeking outside assistance for helping save or salvage a marriage? I will attempt to answer these questions and more in this blog post.

NOTE 1: This post was made in a partnership with BetterHelp, a service allowing people in crisis to connect with therapists and other qualified healthcare professionals for an affordable price. To learn more about BetterHelp and their services and resources, visit www.betterhelp.com.

NOTE 2: I am NOT married, nor have I ever been in any true relationship. So what I will be discussing is all opinion-based.






Marriage Counseling in General


Marriage counseling entails trying to keep together a married couple whose may be in crisis. Or a couple not yet married may seek pre-marital counseling to resolve any matters before marriage. No matter what the case, married couples can use some counseling to be together and stay together "'till death do us part."

Here are individual talking points on marriage counseling...


Why Seek Marriage Counseling?

Like any investment, maintenance may be needed to extend the life of investments. Love (let alone marriage) is an investment in its own right. A couple purely in love with each other want to grow old together and enjoy every exciting moment life has to offer. If a couple can not seem to get along and do not make an effort to diagnose and treat any relationship issues, the only possible saving grace could be to meet with a marriage counselor. What a marriage counselor can do is offer some sort of therapy to help lessen the damage of a damaged marriage. A marriage counselor can help provide some sort of direction to help a couple in crisis move closer towards restoring love among the two.

While it may seem shaky to discuss your personal matters with a totally different person, it is at least an opportunity to let go of something holding you back. A marriage counselor has probably dealt with people who have had similar or worse marital issues than what you are facing. So fear not once you step into the office of a marriage counselor. His/Her job is to try to work with you and your spouse to help save a troubled marriage. If you still want to be with your spouse and do not want to consider divorce, you should really try to get marriage counseling to help give yourself a chance. A couple can only benefit from meeting with a marriage counselor to save a marriage rather than keep transgressions bottled up.


When to Seek Marriage Counseling.

Any number of issues can lead towards wanting marriage counseling. A couple in crisis after a number of months or years may seek marriage counseling. A couple who may not be officially married may have some issues trying to stay together or with other matters. There are times when we need to have someone professional to help save marriage, especially those who want to stay together and not seek divorce. No matter what situation(s) arise, wanting marriage counseling can go a long way to save a marriage. A couple is best to try to seek marriage counseling immediately before it is too late or before a troubled marriage reaches a point of being beyond repair.

Even if you are not married (but about to be married), you may want to seek marriage counseling should you be facing issues prior to being officially married. This is known as premarital counseling. Premarital counseling may be needed if your relationship is facing issues before becoming legally married. The help provided by a marriage counselor can help a soon-to-be married couple keep that loving relationship without the couple have to call off the wedding.


Something to Remember...

You are not a failure, and your relationship is not a failure just because you have to seek help from professionals to try to save or maintain your marriage. It may cost money and time to invest in talking with a marriage counselor, but at least it is better than any kind of do-it-yourself efforts to salvage a marriage. At least you are better served getting professional help than dealing with possible enablers or (at worst) having things resort to foul matters such as domestic violence or marital rape. So try to connect with a marriage counselor if your marriage is on the rocks (and I am not talking about margaritas!).


Up next is a look at certain situations as part of the marriage counseling process.




Marriage Counseling: Special Situations


Marriage counseling may be beneficial, but there are certain considerations and situations which marriage counseling can vastly impact. This section will discuss some of these certain circumstances in getting the help you need so your married relationship can last for as long as it can.


Marriage Counseling... When Children are Involved.

If a married couple has children or may expect children, this is a most crucial situation in regards to marriage counseling, because this aspect can impact both the parents and the children for life. If divorce happens, it can greatly impact the bond between parents and their children. This may lead to possible battles for custody. In the case of a couple expecting children, marital matters discussed with a marriage counselor can be just as damaging and detrimental towards making sure the children are taken care of in addition to the parents.

Marriage counseling can be especially critical when children are involved. So just like a couple that may not have children, marriage counseling is double important in this situation.


Marriage Counseling: Time to Divorce.

So what happens when a marriage has reached a level to where it is beyond repair? It may be time to divorce. A couple may want to be together for as long as their lives will allow. Sometimes, however, the best move may be to just move on. A marriage counselor can only do so much to try to fix what can be fixed. If there is no hope for a positive solution for a married couple, the best thing may be to divorce.


Now for some final thoughts on marriage counseling.




Marriage Counseling: Final Thoughts


As worthwhile an investment love is (let alone marriage), you deserve to be able to get help for when married life is not going too well. Part of that investment in marriage is in finding help for when you and your significant other can not seem to get along happily. You can do no wrong to have help from a marriage counselor. You invested the time and energy to fall in love with the one you eventually married; why not look after your investment in love like you do your house, your car, or almost any precious possession of yours? So make sure to connect with a marriage counselor to help keep this love investment going long and strong. You could try to save a marriage DIY (do it yourself) style, but not everyone can succeed trying to save their own marriage without the help of a marriage counselor. Do not take chances- connect with a marriage counselor for the best chance of saving a troubled marriage.

As I mentioned, I have never been in any proper relationship and am not married. Everything you have read was all based on personal opinions and thoughts.






BetterHelp Resources


I created this post through partnership with BetterHelp. If you would like more information on this issue from BetterHelp, please visit the following resources:

• This resource How Does Marriage Counseling Work For You And Your Relationship?|BetterHelp.

• If my discussion of premarital counseling interests you, here is another resource from BetterHelp: Premarital Counseling: What It Is And Why You Should Do It?|BetterHelp.

My thanks go to BetterHelp for reaching out to me and motivate me to blog about marriage counseling.





If you wish to start a discussion on this topic, here is a discussion question for you:

Would you seek marriage counseling to save your marriage? Would you rather seek marriage counseling or try to fix a troubled marriage yourself (and why)?

Subscribe and Follow my blog(s) if my work interests you and if you enjoy my work. If you have any ideas for future topics to this blog or any of my others, please feel free to contact me. Your suggestions may end up producing future blog posts from me. And here on "John's Life Space," be sure to look at my Helpful Resources for assistance with a multitude of life issues and love issues. Thank you for reading! Take care and be well.

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Saturday, June 16, 2018

Bullying

John Marine | June 16, 2018 | | Be the first to comment!
Bullying has been a huge topic. Bullies make themselves feel stronger by preying on those who they feel are inferior to them. Victims of bullying tend to have self-esteem lowered and also feel powerless. Such heckling can be damaging to others. We often feel the need to make ourselves better by picking certain individuals whom we see as threats or those who stand in our way of being great. If there is someone we don't like for whatever reason(s), bullies often feel the need to pressure someone to help feel better.

PERSONAL MESSAGE: I would like to devote this blog post to all victims of cyberbullying- from past and present victims.


A Special Note:

This blog post was made all on my own, though I did make mentions to bullying before in my main blog, "John's Blog Space." This is not any re-make of my previous blog posts about bullying.






Bullying


Cyberbullying.

Bullying is not just limited to in person; it can also extend towards the online realm and social media. This online bullying, cyberbullying, can be just as damaging as bullying someone in person. The scary thing about cyberbullying is that others can employ more aggressive tactics to bully others. This can go to the levels of posting Internet memes, making social media material specifically to attack others, and things of that nature. Cyberspace offers a layer of protection for bullies because they don't allow themselves to be almost essentially anonymous when making such bullying attacks to others.


The Effects of Bullying or Being Bullied.

In any case, bullying is a means of trying to become better at the expense of others. These are usually cases where someone did absolutely nothing to harm such bullies, yet such people bully others "because they can." Some who get bullied can have conditions ranging from simply being heckled to even severe cases of injury and/or death.


What You Can Do to Fight Back.

If you or someone you know is getting bullied, you need to get help before things get worse.

• Talk with your parents if bullied. You may also notify your teachers, campus police, or any other authority figure in your school or college.

• For possibly extreme bullying, you may contact police.

• You may elect to call certain bullying hotlines or programs designed to curb bullying.


What if YOU Are the Bully?

A thing we don't really recognize is there are those seeking help from bad people. However, what about bullies who may be reading this? I'll say this now- you need help yourself. Heckling others into disbelief and low self-esteem is NOT the way to make yourself a better person. Essentially, you fear someone you heckle on will somehow turn the tables on you and make YOU feel inferior. Even if someone eventually does nothing in response to your tactics, you are setting a bad example for society as well as your peers. You need to learn that putting other people down does NOT make you stronger. It instead shows weakness because you choose to be self-centered and uncaring. The world does not revolve around you, and you are not the highest deity whom everyone should worship.

However, you have a chance to make yourself better! Have a professional you can chat with so you can express your problems as to why you feel the need to bully others. If you feel insecure, you can always learn how to make yourself a better person so that you don't need to prey on somebody lesser than you (in your opinion) to feel stronger. Remember- you chose to be a bully and be uncaring. You can receive help to make yourself a better person and make better decisions among your peers.




Bullying Resources


I have prepared a number of resources to help you in case you are dealing with bullying. Visit my "Helpful Resources" page here on "John's Life Space," or you may take a look at these links I have provided for online support of bullying:

StopBullying.org
STOMP OUT Bullying
Nobody Has the Power to Ruin Your Day
Stand For the Silent
The Ultimate Parent Guide for Protecting Your Child on the Internet | vpnMentor
-
www.stompoutbullying.org
Stand Up to Bullying
Cyberbullying Research Center
Stop Cyberbullying
Cyberbullying - National Crime Prevention Council
Cyberbullying | StopBullying.gov
Cyberbullying - NetSmartz
BrainPOP | Cyberbullying
A Comprehensive Cyberbullying Guide for Parents
-
The Ultimate Parent Guide for Protecting Your Child on the Internet | vpnMentor
Welcome to CyberTraining (Europe)
Cyberbullying - Cyber Safety Pasifika (Oceania and the South Pacific)

A Real Online Degree: Cyberbullying Awareness and Avoidance Resource Guide (resource added: March 8, 2017)


I hope all of you will be able to take advantage of all available resources to you to help you against a stressing situation such as bullying.





I try to do all I can to offer some advice and help for those who need it. I hope you can at least appreciate my efforts. Thank you for reading! Take care and be well.

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Struggles

John Marine | June 16, 2018 | | | | | Be the first to comment!
Struggling involves experiences of low points in hopes of better and more productive times. Not all struggles are harsh. These are moments to focus and stay committed to reach positive outcomes. However, if a struggle becomes too harsh, it leads to frustration and a lack of confidence. No one wants to be in that position. You want to have focus and concentration but usually not at the expense of going crazy trying to accomplish a task.

EVERYONE struggles. It is a fact of life. People can struggle with trying to understand subjects in school or college. Financially-struggling families often struggle trying to make ends meet. Some people struggle at their job and hope to be better at their craft. Struggling is a part of life. What becomes a problem, though, are unnecessary struggles. Some people struggle with things they normally should not have to struggle with. These are times when we can try offer a helping hand. These times even include worrying about things outside of our control. Tough as it may be, you can only handle what is immediately in front of you.

A healthy way to deal with struggles is to remind yourself that getting what you want involves going through struggles. You are going to have to experience tough times to reach positive or favorable outcomes. Be ready to struggle especially if what you want will take time and effort to obtain. So while struggles can be daunting, it is sometimes worth it if you want the best life has to offer. Struggles themselves are moments to think about what is out in the world that you can obtain and realize what it takes to get those things. They make you realize the importance of wanting or having certain things and justify the desire to get something.

If you let struggles bear your down, you will end up being more frustrated and unable to successfully get something. So don't let struggles overwhelm you. Instead, try to be more focused and deal with only what you can deal with. Struggles should make us stronger and be more focused. Maybe you should consider these things as you go through life and trying to get what you want in life and out of life.





I hope you will be able to deal with struggles in a healthy way. That said, I'd like to thank you for reading! Take care and be well.

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Tuesday, June 12, 2018

Why Me?

John Marine | June 12, 2018 | | | Be the first to comment!
When life gets tough, you wonder, "Why Me?" The main thing to cross our minds is the fact all negative things happen to us and not to anybody else. Most of us know not everything bad happens to just us. However, when life is going sour for you, you see yourself floundering while everybody else is doing much better than you. How you handle these moments can go a long way towards feeling better again or feeling frustrated.

There are a few things to realize. Let me say something in a respectful context- the world does not revolve around you. You are not the root of all evil or the bane of society. If you are seriously a bad person or someone that causes disasters everywhere, how come anybody has stopped you yet? For one thing, if you are not doing well at present, there is at least one other person who may be in a more troublesome situation than you. You may think you are doing bad because you are getting ridiculed and that everything bad seems to happen to just you. Meanwhile, someone may be in a much worse situation that leads to harm (and even death) to oneself or others. So your situation is potentially nowhere near where most other people have stumbled. If you feel you are a terrible person, you can always learn to change to where you are better liked.

Some people are firm believers in the notion that bad things happen for a reason. These are moments that can be translated into finding strength and courage in even the darkest of times. Seek these opportunities to make yourself a better person. When it seems like you are always on the receiving end of hardships, always remember that someone may have it worse. Thinking that you are the one always getting into trouble makes you realize other people may be going through the same pain, if not worse pain. The natural response is to meet your own demons head-on while not worrying about other people. If you do meet someone who may be facing similar troubles, let this be a time to work together and band together to live happier and better for the future.

There may be a point where you may have the same issue(s) as someone else. Having the same issues as someone else could help you towards maybe solving the same (or similar) issue together. It is usually great to know that someone else is in similar pain and that you could maybe work together. At the same time, you begin to realize others may be in the same peril and may be reluctant to work together to resolve an issue. This can help you to build better relationships with others as well as having support from others to take on different issues.

No matter what you go through in life, just remember that not just you are having certain issues. Not everything is your fault, and you alone don't have to suffer. Unless you totally feel worthless or useless, just remember that other people may suffer from the same issues, and sometimes even worse conditions than what you are experiencing.





I am John Marine, and I am here to help. Perhaps this post was able to help you out to an extent. Let's start a discussion if you are inclined:

How do you deal with times when you feel everything bad is only happening to you?

Remember to Subscribe and Follow my work in any capacity if you enjoy it. Thank you for reading! Take care and be well.

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Tuesday, April 17, 2018

Addition by Subtraction

John Marine | April 17, 2018 | | | | | Be the first to comment!
Add to your life by subtracting things from your life. When you feel like you have everything, some things you have to let go. This is either from you letting something go or something gone from you. Either way, we sometimes have to take things out of our lives and move on. Most people don't want to let go of things they love or love doing. Like I wouldn't give up trying to share a lot of my creative works online. There are some times, though, where we have to cut something from our lives to feel better. These things we are subtracting may be things we are not fully comfortable with or feel like there is no real purpose in trying to keep supporting something. In these moments, it is best to add to our lives by subtracting.

Here is a quote I found that will set the mood of this blog post:

"Perfection is achieved, not when there is nothing more to add, but when there is nothing left to take away."

-Antoine de Saint-Exupéry


When to Subtract People or Things From Your Life.

What constitutes the desire to subtract from you and your life? Usually, you can be generally unhappy with something or reach a point to where you feel you don't matter to other people, or maybe something within you is slowly defeating you. In those moments, you need to subtract something from your life before things get worse. You might feel you are among great people, only to evenutally be in a situation that leads to you feeling unimportant or unwelcome no matter how sincere you try to be. This is a time for you to subtract yourself from a certain community. Even someone like myself tries to find the good in people. Unfortunately, I know I can only look to others only so much to where I ultimately feel I am not good enough or fit enough to be among certain communities. Even rough-around-the-edges people can be even remotely trusted and liked. Sometimes, though, it is never enough. You may even have certain habits that are really taking you down instead of building you up. Regardless, you have to learn when to let things go or move on from what you once loved.


The Tough (or Not?) Decision to Subtract from Your Life.

Giving things up is never easy. However, if you think it will help you in the long run with certain situations you face, it is for the better. Many of us have had friends who feel we have never done anything to harm them. Maybe you act in ways most people pertain as being damaging. Perhaps you have a lover (fiancé/fianceé/spouse) who you just can't love and care for. Whatever the case, if you feel the need to move on because things aren't going right for you, you will need to subtract such things and people from your life to add to your own happiness and well-being. Nothing is more hurtful than feeling like you lost the trust of people whom you loved. A lack of trust can bring anyone down. Getting rid of things you find joy in can hurt you if you feel you need to subtract that from your life. No matter what decisions you make, wanting to remove something from your life to make it better can involve making some sacrifices.

These are things that make us question what all we have and what we can give up. In the case of subtracting people and communities from your life, remember that you did not feel like you NEED certain people in your life or NEED to be in certain communities. Removing yourself from other people can go quite a way to you feeling more at peace and happier.


Are You Ready to Add to Your Life by Subtracting?

So if you feel the need to remove things from your life to improve it, think long and hard about what you need to get rid of to help make life better. It is proof that you can not always have everything. Some things you have to let go. Or if in the case of someone wanting to do away with you, addition by subtraction is done for you. It is probably better if some people stay to their own world rather than you try to fit into theirs. Addition by subtraction means many things to many people. How you handle these matters can go a long way towards preserving your own personal happiness.


Aftermath of Subtracting People and/or Things in Your Life.

If you do decide to subtract people and things in your life, you made the choice to be done with things. Whether you initiate the subtraction or if someone subtracts you from his/her life, you're done with them. You have a chance to move on and find new things to enjoy. You still may be reminiscent of happier times. That won't go away. However, feeling like you are not good enough to meet certain demands just means you have to move on. Why try to stay in a community where you feel toxic and unproductive?

For example, I try to be involved in certain communities, but I ultimately do not feel like I am any decent (let alone perfect) fit. So I feel I have to move on by getting rid of my involvement. It is a decision I hate to make, but if it makes me better and that I won't entirely regret, then subtractions of mine are justified. I am always someone who tries to see the good in people. I still find genuine respect in others even if I don't feel totally loved or belong. People have surely moved on from me. And a lot of times, I feel I have to move on when I feel Like I have done all I can to offer my love and respect. It is either never enough, or I am seen in a light opposite of how I see myself. Regardless, it is probably best just to move on. What is the point of trying to fix what is almost impossible to repair? You have to move on sometimes and subtract people and things from your life to add to it.





Addition by subtraction- just another of many different life issues I bring into the fold here on "John's Life Space." I don't make the best choices or do the right things all the time, but I do try to bring real issues to the forefront and offer my own advice. I hope you can appreciate my work.

How have you dealt with adding by subtracting in life?

I always try to bring up some depressing situations to try to offer some peace and some hope. It is the least I can do for this blog. All I want to do with "John's Life Space" is provide some guidance for those who may need it or wouldn't mind it. You do not have to like me. However, I hope you can at least respect me trying to provide material people can relate to. All I am trying to do is make sense of a senseless world, because life happens. So with all of this said, thank you for reading! Take care and be well.

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Friday, April 6, 2018

Breaking Points

John Marine | April 06, 2018 | | | | Be the first to comment!
Somewhere in time, we reach our breaking point. These breaking points are the limits where we feel the need to take action after dealing with something. What happens when one's breaking point is reached? It depends. For example, someone used to taking insults may decide to get violent and aggressive towards his/her insultors. Some other person may break down and cry after so many people say so many bad things about himself/herself. There may be times even when breaking points actually ENCOURAGE people rather than perform some kind of action that can lead to trouble or punishment. No matter what, breaking points resemble any number of limits people have.

There are certain tolerance levels people have which make them feel either weak inside or want to exact violence or harm to life and/or property. This is where having certain breaking points can be potentially dangerous. We begin to do things we otherwise wouldn't do. Imagine if a sibling can't stand his/her parent(s) and feels like wanting to hurt his/her parent(s). Imagine a certain friend among a circle of friends who constantly feels disrespected and may threaten to go on a rage against someone or look to incite violence. In these cases, it is healthy to release your deepest emotions; however, the consequences and repercussions of your actions could be entirely damaging to you and your relationships with others.

Sometimes, reaching breaking points can trigger a call to action to make a change for the better. For example, a victim of domestic violence could reach a breaking point to where he/she will want to do something in the light of breaking up or divorce (in the case of married individuals). One can withstand only so much abuse and so much disappointment that one reaches a certain breaking point to call for change. It is as if you can push someone only so far until they decide to want to do something about it.

So how do you deal with breaking points? Realize that reaching a breaking point is very natural. It is okay to come to a point where you want change in your life after constant disappointment or the feeling of nothing getting done. Breaking points should never reach the point of inflicting violence, but reaching breaking points that may potentially lead to violence is just as natural. If you reach your breaking point, try to control your anger and emotions as best as you can. You want to be able to express your breaking point in a healthy way. If you feel your breaking point reaches the point of inflicting violence, try to control yourself to where you don't end up doing something you are going to regret for the near future or for the rest of your life. Your ability to handle reaching your breaking point and how you are able to let your stronger self emerge can make the difference in handling breaking points properly.





That is, at least, what I think about breaking points. What say you?

How do you handle reaching your breaking point? What would you suggest to others in the same sort of situation?

Thank you for reading! Take care and be well.

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Sunday, March 25, 2018

Tough Love

John Marine | March 25, 2018 | | | | | Be the first to comment!
Sometimes to discipline others and to teach life lessons, some employ "tough love" tactics. This is where individuals are subject to harsh conditions to teach certain important things. These may also involve learning for oneself. Tough love can be questionable, as most parents or other individuals would not put loved ones in harm's way. However, and if to teach a lesson, tough love tactics may be needed and is completely justified. This blog post is all about tough love.






Tough Love


Time to talk tough love.

tough love
^ from: (True Beauty for Ashes) - Love shouldn't have to hurt. But sometimes, tough love is needed to show how much we care for others.

Tough Love Defined.

So what is "tough love?" Well, tough love is where you want to show you love someone or want the best in someone by putting them through harmful situations. You are putting someone through these trials in an attempt to see if that individual or those individuals can survive through them.

The reason why I think it is called "tough" love is because we often think of love as a concept not meant to hurt anybody. Love should be sweet and affectionate. Many people even have their own idea of what love really is. Sometimes, being a success involves being subject to harsh conditions. That is where the concept of "tough love" comes in. You still love someone and want someone to be their best; only that you are trying to show it in a way outside of a soft and comfortable manner. So rather than offer calming words and encouragement, you are instead putting someone in a situation one may not like to be in, but for the greater good of teaching certain life lessons.

An example of tough love for me personally was when I was a college student. My brother once made me type up or write down how I was managing my time in community college. I was allowed a half-hour to casually use the Internet. I hated that I had to document my time in the computer lab because I felt like I was THAT bad apparently. Granted I wasn't the world's best college student, this was tough love from my own brother to help me to be better in college. Did I enjoy being looked on as a failure? Not at all. I didn't like being looked on as a liability or a failure; but if someone saw something special in me and wanted to extract it out of me, then I could do nothing but take my "punishment." I don't have to love tough love to appreciate the concept.


Is Tough Love Fair?

To the ones who need lessons to be taught, of course it is not fair. Loved ones don't want to be in overly harsh settings or be looked on like slaves or animals. However, if the end game is to make someone cared about better, it is worth it if needed. Who wants to feel like they are poor members of society and are completely worthless?

As much as people don't want to be treated this poorly with tough love, it is sometimes needed to help someone. So tough love can be entirely fair even if people do not agree with this tactic.


The Psychology of Tough Love.

Someone who is in need of being taught some discipline often feel they are stupid. Almost as if one is a serial failure in life and seems completely hopeless and incapable of being a proper functioning member of society. Those who feel stupid and unloved often face depression or intense anger. If that level of disregard reaches a certain breaking point, then being taught tough love basically can make someone feel terrible.

On one end, someone taught tough love may come to a point where someone starts being even more self-reliant just to feel happier about oneself. Tough love can also increase the possibility of being isolated from loved ones and other individuals. These are mere side effects when someone feels they have to experience tough love just to be better regarded and to become better people.


Justifying Tough Love.

Because tough love is a harsh concept, some question it more along the lines of something like spanking children. Tough love is about trying to make someone better by subjecting others to certain harsh conditions. It may seem like abuse, but this is one of those "greater good" situations. Tough love is a concept you don't have to approve of to appreciate. It is more like a "last resort" to try to express love to someone or to help groom someone to be better. Tough love is certainly justified if the point is to make someone better by putting them into situations they are not happy to be in.


Now time for some final thoughts on tough love.




Tough Love: Final Thoughts


Love should not have to hurt. However, tough love is needed often times to try to show love and respect to others. It is love that involves hurt. Someone who is already feeling hurt does not need extra hurt or bad news to go along with whatever is bothering the individual. It is tough to grasp the concept of tough love as someone who is given tough love. People do not want to be looked on as failures or liabilities in life. If someone can be better, subjecting someone to tough love can help someone become better and help that person think for himself/herself. While tough love is meant to be a tactic for improving someone as a person, it can also be damaging and perhaps even test the limits of relationships between family and friends. Tough love is still something needed and justified if conditions call for tough love to be employed. It is an unconventional and potentially damaging way of showing love, but it is still love nonetheless.





This post has concluded. Thank you for visiting "John's Life Space!" Before I close this post out, allow me to ask you this discussion question if you enjoyed this post:

What are your thoughts on tough love? Have you employed tough love tactics to others? How have you handled tough love?

I have been busy with a lot of projects and stuff, so my rate of making blog posts has diminished. I still run this blog and others because there are still many things to get across to the world. I hope you appreciate my efforts with this blog and in my other work. So thank you for reading! Take care and be well.

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Wednesday, March 21, 2018

Social Media Unfriending/Unfollowing

John Marine | March 21, 2018 | | Be the first to comment!
Social media is usually my only connection to people I know personally. So when someone I think of and connected to drops me, I tend to wonder why. One person who seemed missing from my Facebook feed inspired me to blog about this topic. Most people wonder why they are no longer followed or friends when someone gets dropped. Let this blog post offer some thoughts of mine on why you or someone else may get dropped from someone's friend list in social media.

About the Label: "Social Media"

Topics under this Label relate to social media life issues. These can be basic life issues on social media or social media itself.






Social Media Unfriending/Unfollowing


unfriend unfollow social media
^ from: (hover cursor over image for credit) - Friends forever? Think again, at least in social media...

It usually takes some time to get to be friends with someone online. It is usually a great feeling when you do finally get to connect with someone through social media. You become a part of that person's life once you connect through social media. Usually, the mindset I get is that someone whom I connect with among personal friends and those I don't know personally will stay for some long time. However, that is not always the case. Someone can easily do away with you as much as you tried to connect with someone in the first place.

What happens when you no longer follow someone or drop a friend online? You basically set up that disconnect from that individual. Especially if online is the only way you can connect with others, it is depressing when your only connection to someone is dropped. That is the way for me since going from a regular college student to a stay-at-home blogger. Many of my old friends from grade school and college are those whom I haven't seen in a long while. I always want to believe I did nothing to hurt anyone. Even still, I know I did things probably taken out of context. I also know that while I may or may not have done anything wrong, some individuals simply don't want anything to do with you anymore, even if you have been genuine and respectful. My mindset is that anyone whom I connect with is someone who I feel I have made a positive impact on that person's life. So if/when I get dropped by that person, I wonder if I did enough to remain respectful or if someone simply just has a change of heart and decides to move on from me.

No matter what, when you connect with someone on social media, you become a part of that person's life. What are you going to do when you are indeed connected? I had some incidents where people only connected with me to share suspicious websites, share my pictures and posts, and even to basically attack me with slurs and insults. If you are going to be friends with someone on social media, at least show you love and respect someone. You can then understand most reasons why people get dropped from friends lists in social media. Speaking of which...


Possible Reasons for Being Unfriended/Unfollowed.

There are many more reasons than what you will see here, but here are some of the different reasons:

• You did something to hurt that individual that is tough to forgive.
An example of this would be if you said hurtful things about someone behind that individual's back. You may have said some things to hurt someone, and the individual took offense to comments you posted elsewhere online. You may have (especially if you know someone personally) done something away from cyberspace to do harm to that individual. Rather than start an online firestorm, that individual may decide to simply drop you for your conduct towards that person.


• You rarely communicate with that individual.
One of my personal fears in social media is fearing I don't mean anything to anyone because I don't communicate often with that individual. That usually means I am just wasting someone's time and energy online. So I usually make some regular posts and think of others just to say I'm still here and still care in some capacity. One thing to understand is that not everyone checks their social media profiles all the time. So have some patience and understanding in this department.

This matter can really be a problem if you are connected with family, close personal friends, or even loved ones.


• The individual may only want to connect with personal friends and family.
If this were the old days of Myspace, this wouldn't be a problem much. However, in the case of services like Facebook (Which is vastly more personal), people often have extra profiles specifically for personal friends and family. Some people may even have their basic profile as the one to meet only personal friends and family. If this has happened to you and you still feel like contributing, try to find other ways to connect to show your appreciation at least as a fan. For example, maybe find another social network or seek some kind of fan page for that person. Maybe those are ways you can still be connected regardless.

When I connect with others, it is with loving interest and respect. I want to simply show I care about individuals on a personal level.


• Someone may have just chosen to delete certain individuals connected, and chose you among the deleted.
There are some people who feel like they have extra "clutter" among social media connections. And so, they decide to get rid of a bunch of people for whatever reason. The reasons vary as to why some people are dropped from friends lists. Sometimes, the ones most likely to get deleted are the ones who want to be friends just for the sake of being friends. These are usually the ones who want to simply share your pictures and posts, and they mostly don't want to do much towards showing respect for you as a person.

At other times, there are people who get dropped from friends lists simply because they have certain thoughts and opinions you are comfortable with. For example, someone's take on governmental policies or religious matters offend you. Such individuals who think in ways different from you can lead to not wanting to be associated with others. This can also lead to being unfriended if you are with someone.

Some people on social media will post things like, "let's see if people will respond to this post," usually asking you to post a certain comment or respond in a certain way about a certain topic. I do NOT take part in such posts. I don't do chain mail online. It is just my preference, and there are just some social networking things I don't take part in. To some people, it is important to participate in all of what someone tries to get others involved in. If you don't get involved, you could be unfriended/unfollowed by some people. You shouldn't have to be involved in everything even if you are pressured into doing things you don't do or believe in. For example, would you drink or smoke with friends even if you don't drink or smoke? People have to respect others' views and beliefs.


• While being supportive, you may have made a gesture meant to be a compliment but taken as an insult to that individual.
People usually say I am too kind or too sweet to others. I've said and done dumb things before. So I don't always say the best things. Things meant to be seen as compliments are often taken in a negative context. As a result, I have damaged a bond between myself and whatever individual I was trying to compliment.

One personal example is that I used to do "Follow/Favorite Friday" on Twitter. Some hated that I would include them in #ff posts on Twitter and block me. Always know that I try to be supportive and active. Some people, however, think differently with things like Follow/Favorite Friday on Twitter. I actually stopped making such posts like that even as someone said nobody does "#ff" posts anymore.


• The individual may have just simply moved on from you.
You care about someone with a great amount of heart, but someone simply has moved on from you. You probably did nothing wrong. All that happens is that there is an old friend of yours who simply wants nothing to do with you even if you did nothing to harm someone. It happens. Many of my old grade school and college friends probably don't even know me anymore or don't see me as being anyone relevant anymore. Nothing you can do about it. That person moved on from you, and you probably have to move on from that individual as well.


• The individual may have simply given up on social media.
Some people may just do away with social media entirely. You did nothing wrong in this case- that person just decided to do away with social media. It has happened to me before. There's nothing you can do about it. You did nothing wrong- that person just doesn't want anything to do with social media anymore. Being on social media is not essential to living.


Personal Admittances of Unfriending/Unfollowing.

I mentioned people who seemed to only follow for the sake of friends. Sometimes on Facebook, I note some people don't use Facebook much or comment much. I usually check on birthdays if someone really is active. I am well aware that not everyone uses Facebook (or any other social network medium) all the time. However, if the only connection is through making posts on peoples' birthdays, I usually drop that person. Chances are, someone who does not post often or even care to say "thank you" or anything, that's when I usually move on from certain individuals.


It is now time to make some final thoughts to conlude this post.




Final Thoughts


No matter who you come across in life, you will meet people whom you highly respect and those whom you disrespect in some capacity. You are part of a person's life when connected through social media. Some people even see it is a necessity to be with someone through social media. Despite this dependence on social media, not everyone stays with you all the time. The feeling of being dropped by someone who you care about or find importance in can be damaging. It becomes case of unrequited love that leaves you feeling unloved. Or in other words, the individual you care about may not love you or care about you enough as much as you care about that individual. There are cases where the individual does not put an emphasis on social media much to actually care. In some sad-but-true cases, the person may have simply moved on from you even if you did nothing really wrong to trigger someone dropping you from his/her friends list and his/her life. It may also be possible that someone simply does not want to get involved with social media a whole lot regardless of how much you try to involve others.

If you have been dropped previously, you can try to make attempts to get back with that individual online. If your attempts fail, you may simply have to just move on; that person already did with you. Not everything is your fault if you feel you are fault. So don't be hard on yourself if you are in this situation. Also note that not everyone consistently and regularly follows social media. It is not the end of the world or the end of your life because certain individuals have dropped you from social media. It may just mean you have to look elsewhere and meet new people. Friends come and go both in real life and on social media. Honor your current and old friends, but always seek to meet new people and show new respect for new individuals.





I hope this helps some of you and maybe help you relate. Want to discuss this topic?

How do you deal with unfriending/unfollowing on social media? What constitutes wanting to unfollow/unfriend someone to you on social media?

Thank you for reading! Take care and be well.

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