Rejection Because of Kindness?
Allow me to set the story up.
I often times like to randomly show my appreciation for people by posting kind messages to others. I don't need a special situation or day to do so. I am someone who appreciates people being in your life and those who help you feel happy and maybe mean something to your life.
Last week, I endured what I considered a bad week on Twitch. I am admittedly a chatty person because I want to feel connected to what I love. I do not want to feel like I am just another soul, though technically, I am just another soul. I was banned from Chat on two different channels. One was from discussing something that I felt was not wrong in any such way, the other was from maybe expressing some kind words. The latter situation is what I will be discussing.
The channel's Chat I was banned from is from an up-and-coming DJ and producer whom I've supported by visiting Chat and even buying some songs from this personality online. I've been supportive and enjoyed my time Chatting with others along with the musician. Sometimes, I felt like I am left out or sometimes ignored. I felt connected, but not really connected to that community. I even made some complimentary and appreciative comments on Discord. I felt this showing of kindness, while not flirting or anything of that nature, probably led to me being banned from Chat on that channel. Afterwards, I immediately unfollowed that Channel and all or most social media connections from the musician.
I offered kind and supportive words, and somehow it's taken as something offensive enough to get banned from Chat on someone's Twitch channel? I did not use any sort of inflammatory words or try to flirt with the person. I simply said things along the lines of (not the exact quote), "thank you for your wonderful streams this year. I'm glad to have followed your channel this year and even buy your music online." What happened after? I get banned from Chat on that channel, possibly from kind words I offered elsewhere.
Being the depressed soul, I felt like I did wrong when I felt I was doing right. I even went to bed a bit earlier that night once I learned of showing respect ended up getting you rejected instead of respect. I felt this was another setback and also committing another mistake. Or at least, I committed something that regarded like a mistake rather than trying to be kind.
If you felt this sounds foul, let's discuss this further.
Rejection Because of Kindness? A Further Breakdown
I feel the world has too much negativity. I also feel not much love and respect is genuine. There are those who simply want to be kind to certain individuals for the sake of being kind or because of trying to boost one's "cool appeal." I do not think that way. If there is someone whom I feel is a great person, I let that person know. Depending on how great, I express my own happiness for how much that person means to me and that person's work.
No person in one's own correct mind would ever tell a loved one or someone the person loves to (for example) "go die in a hole," right? You wouldn't wish a loved one to get involved in a dangerous incident or get sick from a potentially fatal disease, would you? Of course not. But at the same time, you do want to say things to others to show your appreciation for them. If one person is hoping to get a job after an interview, you want to hope that person gets the job. You allow your heart to be open and express your support. Yes- words can be as powerful as actions, though actions are often stronger than words. Yet still, words still hold a lot of power.
The only situation(s) where I feel kindness can lead to rejection is if someone is only saying kind things and doing kind things only to be kind. You know- not being sincere about offering support. It may also be possible if someone may intentionally say something things taken as backhanded compliments. However, if you are someone who constantly says kind things to someone and the recipient sees it either as being fake or always being nice, it leads to rejection to those who you feel connected with. It shouldn't be this way! Sadly, though, it can be taken in a negative context.
Explaining Ways.
I have been a person who has had episodes of depression. I had people who I thought were friends feel like they betrayed me. I may even meet people whom I thought were friends, until they either show their true colors to me or direct me to some discussion either illegal or some scam. I feel like I did nothing wrong, yet still I no longer am friends with someone or no longer supportive of me. So because of this, I cherish and admire those whom I feel haven't betrayed me or appreciate what I do for others. There have been people I've encountered who have helped me through some tough times and even served as people I could talk to about my problems. I appreciate those whom have helped me along the way as well as those who help me feel better about myself in life and in general.Therefore, I feel the need to express my appreciation and respect for others. Do I HAVE to express kindness on a personal level? No. Do I WANT to express kindness on a personal level? Yes. If I feel someone is a great person, I want to express that level of love and respect to that person. I want to show I am real and have been positively influenced. Using the musician as an example, I always have been supportive even to point to buying that musician's music. Maybe if I was traveling, I would even want to go to live shows for that musician. However, to be so kind and supportive to the point of financial support leading to being rejected by that entity, I almost felt like I have wasted my life trying to be kind and supportive.
Showing Respect in a Community Analogy.
The analogy I like to give regarding respect is with restaurants. If you love dining at a major fast food chain, you are just another figure who loves the company, and not many people among that fast food chain would really care about you. This is even though you do matter to that fast food chain's success. However, if you love dining from some small family's kitchen or a small business restaurant, you are like family. It is the reason why I sometimes avoid more popular platforms because it is like getting lost in a big rock concert. As much as you say and personally mean "I love you" or "you're the best," you're drowned out among other people who feel the same way. I don't want to be ignored or seen as something less of a supporter.Can You Be Respectful Without Being Hateful?
I do understand it is unrealistic to always support someone and always agree with something. Though, nobody wants to be an out-and-out hater. You can always respectfully disagree with things. If being rejected for always being kind, you can always offer constructive criticism and respectful disagreement on things without getting on the hateful side of someone. Remember you are not telling someone you love and respect anything negative. What you want to do is show your support in your own way. The hope is that it is accepted and appreciated. Sometimes, though, it may get misinterpreted or make you feel like a superficial friend or fan of that individual or those individuals. If you get rejected, you feel your respect is going for nothing; and as a result, you want to disassociate yourself as much as possible from whom you originally thought was someone that you truly loved and respected. You end up feeling less of a person because you felt you were doing wrong when all you were trying to do was be kind to people.Pretty betraying material in this blog post, isn't it? Well, I'll offer some final thoughts next.
Rejection Because of Kindness? Final Thoughts
Do not stop being kind. Do not stop voicing your overall love, respect, and appreciation for others. Support those you love as best as you can and as much as you can. If you try to offer your respect to those you feel are warranting of it, you have done nothing wrong. You have only done wrong when you are either insincere, offer it as a backhanded compliment, or if it is taken in the wrong context. Love and appreciation should be commended, not lead to rejection by the party(-ies) at large. Sadly, some people dislike compliments or don't appreciate being complimented. So you do have to be careful if you like offering your appreciation of others. Again, though- do not stop expressing kindness to those who you feel have made a positive impact on your life.
This has been both a helpful post and a mini-rant. Regardless, I am glad you found some special value in this post. Here is my discussion question to you if you wish to discuss:
Even if not everyone takes compliments easily, should you still prefer your appreciation to others? Also, should showing appreciation for others be warranting of rejection by some individuals?
"John's Life Space" is a blog about various life issues ranging from comical to serious. If you found value in my blog post and want more of my material, please be sure to connect with me and my work. Subscribe/Follow my blog(s) in any capacity if you love my work. Share my blog post(s) with others if you enjoy my work. Support me further by connecting with me on social media; and if you are inclined, feel free to donate to me (donations are voluntary but would be appreciated). Thank you for reading! Take care and be well.
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