JOHN'S LIFE SPACE DISCLAIMER:

"John's Life Space" features a variety of content to many audiences. The majority of content is meant to suit an audience 13 years of age and older. Some material offered in this blog may not be suitable for all audiences and may include some topics too sensitive or discomforting to discuss. All advice offered in this blog is not meant to replace or substitute practical help. If you require counseling or want more professional help, please consult your healthcare provider, a psychologist, or any other qualified individual.

Thursday, May 14, 2020

Players

John B. Marine | May 14, 2020 | | Be the first to comment!
Players lift the romantic hopes of single individuals, only to dump them at the peak of their happiness. They are unwilling to engage in proper relationships; uncommitted to marry or start a family with the ones getting played. These heartbreaking schemes are enough to send single people into depression. This blog post focuses on players in relationships.






Players


Let me set the mood of this post with a song. Let's this one started:


^ 112 player

Players in relationships try to win the hearts of single types, only to break their hearts afterwards. They are uncommitted to want to be with someone. All a player wants to do is pretend to want to be with someone only to break that person's heart when he/she is at the climax of happiness of wanting to be with a player. Normally, one would think someone wants to be with somebody else by trying to win the heart of a single person. No one would want to expend so much energy and interest in a single person just to play with one's emotions. A player does not consider (or care) about long-term love of someone. They just want to play up someone's romantic interests and move on to another individual.

Players are frowned upon because they know how to easily win the hearts of others while having little or no interest in wanting to have a committed relationship with such individuals. Certain single types easily fall victim to the tactics of a player that any dreams of marriage or even starting a family with that individual become dashed. We normally think people want to be romantically involved with others would want to engage in any number of things to show love. Committed and interested types would want to engage in acts like wanting to marry, wanting to start a family, and of course... intimacy. Players, however, are only satisfied when they feel they have won the heart of someone only to crush someone's happiness in short order at the peak of one's happiness. Almost as if winning one's heart gives a player serious leverage of wanting to do whatever he/she wants with someone's heart once they've gotten it.


Why Do Players Play?

Players often play with the hearts of others mostly for self-gratitude and confidence. They feel happy and confident knowing they can manipulate other peoples' emotions, trying to uplift others' spirits only to crush those spirits when they feel the climax of one's spirits have been reached. It is this sort of empowerment that gives players such confidence to play almost anyone they want. On the other hand, it speaks to the level of incompetence of players simply not knowing what they want. Players do not know who they want to be with, if they want to really be with someone. So to feel happy, they try to *pretend* to want to be in a committed relationship only to break others' hearts later on. Players don't know what they want in relationships or who they want to be with, so they want to pass the time by falsely uplifting the loving spirits of single people.

Those who have been played likely can't believe they allowed themselves to be taken advantage of so easily. That feeling of no longer being single end up burning to ashes thanks to a player and his/her playing tactics. Returning to being single after being previously taken only brings people to depression and dissatisfaction after being so betrayed.


Are You With a Player?

You might be dealing with a player if that person does not seem to really want you romantically for the long haul. We normally want to forever be with someone whom we is so committed and wanting to love for a long time. A player is just disinterested in wanting to be in any kind of long-running, committed relationship. So if you sense you may be with a player, it may be time for you to move on or hope the player changes his/her ways.


How to Deal With Being Played.

If your plans of wanting to be with someone are dashed by a player, you obviously will feel heartbroken. Best thing you can pretty much do is seek someone more willing and more able to be with you and connect with you than what a player did. Be sure to find someone who you can better connect with and not feel you are being taken advantage.


Can a Player Change His/Her Ways?

It is possible a player may ultimately decide to want to be with someone. However, the chances are usually not as likely unless the player himself/herself completely changes his/her habits and decide to get serious about being in committed relationships. This is something the player has to chance on his/her own.


Final thoughts on haters coming up in the next section.




Players: Final Thoughts


A player is unable and incapable of wanting to start a proper relationship with someone. Players simply lift the spirits of single people just to make them believe they found the right one... only to have their hearts broken when they get dumped by players. A player thinks it is perfectly acceptable to try to win a single person's heart only to crush that person's heart at the climax of love and satisfaction. They do so knowing they have no confidence in themselves of wanting to be in any committed relationship. If someone is truly committed to be with someone, people shouldn't have to go to the levels of pretending to want to have any committed relationship with someone. Dealing with a player can be depressing once one's heart has been broken by a player. Those looking for love should find someone whom they feel most compatible with and not willing to break someone's heart at a given notice. Players are indecisive, uncommitted, and even unsure enough to not want to seek a proper relationship. If you're going to be in any kind of relationship, be in it for the long haul, the long distance, and with totally sincere love. DON'T be a player unless you really don't know how to properly love someone and want to commit.





This post on players is over. Maybe you have some thoughts on this matter:

How do you deal with players? Have you been played before by one, maybe?

Be sure to take a look at my other blog posts and other material while you are in my realm. I am also pleased for those of you to offer relevant resources for my "Helpful Resources" page on "John's Life Space." I can always use more resources to feature for those online to aid in assistance for many life issues. So connect with me any way you can. As for this post, I'm done. Thank you for reading! Take care and be well.

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Saturday, May 9, 2020

Body Shaming

John B. Marine | May 09, 2020 | | | Be the first to comment!
Criticism of peoples' bodies is known as body shaming. This sort of discrimination can bring people to depression. Being too overweight or underweight is grounds for people to shame others. Body shaming is the topic at hand here, and I will be discussing body shaming from not only fat shaming, but also skinny shaming.






Body Shaming


When people criticize others for being skinny or obese, this leads to body shaming. Body shaming makes people feel worthless because people are only being seen for their body size rather than their personality. Someone criticized for being too thin are often seen like stick figures to some people. Likewise, someone criticized for being too overweight or obese are seen more as blobs of body fat rather than average human beings. Body shaming hurts people physically, and even mentally. No one wants to be criticized or judged upon only by their body size. Someone who may be attacked regarding body size can develop a lack of self-esteem. In most other cases, body shaming can lead to unhealthy changes to peoples' lifestyles- even including eating more and increased levels of depression. So you could be making someone's body and weight issues WORSE if you are trying to help him/her!

Body acceptance is a means of accepting your body regardless of what society or others think is beautiful. It means you are proud of your body even if your body isn't what most people consider normal or acceptable. It reduces feeling it is required you keep your body at a healthy weight and size just to live better or be better appreciated among people. One thing I have appreciated among fashion bloggers (especially among plus size fashion bloggers) is how they were able to appreciate their bodies even if they were not slim and slender.

Does someone have to have a healthy body size to be accepted? Doctors often recommend people maintain a healthy weight. Does that mean they are REQUIRED to be at a certain weight? No. We all need to maintain a healthy weight regardless, but we shouldn't criticize people who are north or south of what is considered ideal or normal in terms of bodies and weight. Considering we celebrate and romanticize those who have what is considered perfect or average body weight, anything less than society's threshold of average can be considered unacceptable among most circles.


Body Shaming: Are We Hurting When We Could be Helping?

To some people, attacking someone for their body or body size is meant as a form of motivation to maintain a healthy weight. Those tactics, however, can actually do more harm than good. Think about what kind of message you are trying to send when you are trying to get people to maintain a healthy weight or lose/gain healthy weight by body shaming. There are more logical and helpful ways to motivate people to lose weight (or gain weight for skinnier types) or to help others maintain a healthy weight.

There are some people who actually promote and admire certain body types- even to the point of fetishes. Some people feel romantically aroused by certain body types. At times in my fashion/beauty blog, I was once criticized for unintentionally promoting obesity in discussing plus size fashion and even plus size modeling.


Now let's look at this from two different perspectives.




Body Shaming: Skinny and Overweight


There are two main aspects of body shaming- being too skinny and being too fat. Here is a look at body shaming in both of these respects.


Body Shaming: Fat Shaming.

More commonly, people who are either overweight or obese are subject to "fat shaming." When people are being "fat shamed," there are people who criticize overweight people others for being overweight. Some people believe fat shaming is a way to get overweight people to eat less, exercise more, and maintain a healthy weight for their height. Unfortunately, fat shaming can increase depression, lower self-esteem, cause some overweight types to eat more, make such people isolate themselves from others, increase depression, and maybe even lead to possible harm to themselves or others (including suicide and/or homicide).

I will go back to fashion and modeling examples. Nothing makes most people cringe than seeing an overweight or obese person show off their jiggling body fat or trying to fit into skinnier clothing. I've seen fashion plus size fashion bloggers and plus size models wear cropped tops, short outfits, and things of that nature. These types are meant to show that you can look and feel beautiful even if you do not have a body size that is considered normal or healthy. Even without having the most lustful bodies, I found various plus size models to be as beautiful as anyone with builds who may be slim or athletic. The trend these days is more like how those have praised females who are "thicc." In other words- those with thick thighs or have a body like Kim Kardashian. Some plus-size fashion bloggers (some use the term "fatshion" bloggers) sometimes post photos of themselves showing their bodies off to show body acceptance. A lot of people will feel disgusted and think obesity is being promoted. I've seen some plus-size models who have worn curvy lingerie and curvy swimsuits. The main point is to share that one who is overweight can still find good-looking, good-fitting clothes.

Regardless, being overweight or even obese is still grounds for some people to want to fat shame others. If trying to maintain or lose weight is the goal, do so in a healthy and ethical way. I always say you do not solve problems by adding to them. So be sure to help others in a non-destructive way. There is a such thing as constructive criticism. There have been individuals who have taken to the airwaves and through online videos doing fat shaming. Certain others

Fat Shaming: Video Insight
For some video insight on fat shaming, I have found some videos to prove points.

Here is a video that seems more an acting job, but its insight on fat shaming is real:

^ Mean Girl Fat Shames Stranger, Lives to Regret Her Decision | Dhar Mann

One YouTube personality shares her thoughts on fat shaming. I tried to find a fairly decent video regarding thoughts on fat shaming, and this was about as good as I could find:

^ What I think about Fat Shaming & Body Image Disorders

This concludes the discussion of fat shaming.


Body Shaming: Skinny Shaming.

While fat shaming is common, a lot of us realize that there is shaming on the other side of the spectrum- skinny shaming. We often admire and romanticize people who have slim and slender builds. We may even praise those who have athletic builds, or even people who are in modern lingo, "thicc." Either way, many consider being slim and slender to be healthier and more attractive than those who have excess body fat. Some skinny types can be dangerously thin. Such people can be almost basically bones with little muscles here and there. These are mostly the anorexic types.

As an example in fashion, many people have seen fashion models walk the runways at fashion shows. Some of them are incredibly slim. Sometimes even to the level where they seem to have more bones than muscles. Fashion agencies and modeling agencies have certain guidelines on body types. Being too skinny can be very unhealthy. People who criticize others for being too skinny often will say something like, "eat a cheeseburger" to someone who is very slim. There is one fashion personality I've followed in which some criticize her for being unhealthy skinny.

Skinny Shaming: Video Insight
This is an excellent video that highlights on skinny shaming from one person's perspective:

^ On The Other Side | Skinny Shaming Film

There is your skinny shaming insight. Some people don't even realize skinny shaming is just as damaging as fat shaming, and some people don't even regard or realize that skinny shaming is a thing.




Body Shaming: Final Thoughts


Regardless of whether or not someone is properly healthy, body shaming can be damaging. Our perception of body image usually clouds our thoughts of who people are on the inside. We instead focus on body image and decide to make comments that can actually be doing more harm than good. If motivation to lose or gain weight is the goal, do so in a healthy way without emotionally or mentally hurting someone. You can judge a person on almost anything and for whatever reason. None of those, though, has to involve body shaming. One's body is NOT a reflection of who someone is within. Even I have had my thoughts about people. I do know for all the reasons to love or loathe someone, weight and/or body image is NOT a factor and should not be a factor. I am not going to love someone because they have an overweight figure. Likewise, I am not going to love someone for having a very slender figure. Look beyond the body weight and body mass and appreciate people for their personality instead of body shaming. Body shaming is destructive and disespectful on a number of levels and does very little to motivate or compliment anyone.





Those are my thoughts on body shaming- both from an overweight and underweight perspective.

What are your thoughts on body shaming? Have you been body shamed before? How did you handle it, and what advice would you give if you been body shamed?

Be sure to visit my Helpful Resources page if you want online resources about a number of issues. This even includes resources regarding COVID-19/Coronavirus concerns. I want to thank those who provided their own resources in addition to me finding certain resources for various topics. Other than that, your visiting of my life issues blog is well appreciated. Thank you for reading! Take care and be well.

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