Tough Love

Sometimes to discipline others and to teach life lessons, some employ "tough love" tactics. This is where individuals are subject to harsh conditions to teach certain important things. These may also involve learning for oneself. Tough love can be questionable, as most parents or other individuals would not put loved ones in harm's way. However, and if to teach a lesson, tough love tactics may be needed and is completely justified. This blog post is all about tough love.

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Tough Love

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Time to talk tough love.


^ from: (True Beauty for Ashes) - Love shouldn't have to hurt. But sometimes, tough love is needed to show how much we care for others.

Tough Love Defined.

So what is "tough love?" Well, tough love is where you want to show you love someone or want the best in someone by putting them through harmful situations. You are putting someone through these trials in an attempt to see if that individual or those individuals can survive through them.

The reason why I think it is called "tough" love is because we often think of love as a concept not meant to hurt anybody. Love should be sweet and affectionate. Many people even have their own idea of what love really is. Sometimes, being a success involves being subject to harsh conditions. That is where the concept of "tough love" comes in. You still love someone and want someone to be their best; only that you are trying to show it in a way outside of a soft and comfortable manner. So rather than offer calming words and encouragement, you are instead putting someone in a situation one may not like to be in, but for the greater good of teaching certain life lessons.

An example of tough love for me personally was when I was a college student. My brother once made me type up or write down how I was managing my time in community college. I was allowed a half-hour to casually use the Internet. I hated that I had to document my time in the computer lab because I felt like I was THAT bad apparently. Granted I wasn't the world's best college student, this was tough love from my own brother to help me to be better in college. Did I enjoy being looked on as a failure? Not at all. I didn't like being looked on as a liability or a failure; but if someone saw something special in me and wanted to extract it out of me, then I could do nothing but take my "punishment." I don't have to love tough love to appreciate the concept.

Is Tough Love Fair?

To the ones who need lessons to be taught, of course it is not fair. Loved ones don't want to be in overly harsh settings or be looked on like slaves or animals. However, if the end game is to make someone cared about better, it is worth it if needed. Who wants to feel like they are poor members of society and are completely worthless?

As much as people don't want to be treated this poorly with tough love, it is sometimes needed to help someone. So tough love can be entirely fair even if people do not agree with this tactic.

The Psychology of Tough Love.

Someone who is in need of being taught some discipline often feel they are stupid. Almost as if one is a serial failure in life and seems completely hopeless and incapable of being a proper functioning member of society. Those who feel stupid and unloved often face depression or intense anger. If that level of disregard reaches a certain breaking point, then being taught tough love basically can make someone feel terrible.

On one end, someone taught tough love may come to a point where someone starts being even more self-reliant just to feel happier about oneself. Tough love can also increase the possibility of being isolated from loved ones and other individuals. These are mere side effects when someone feels they have to experience tough love just to be better regarded and to become better people.

Justifying Tough Love.

Because tough love is a harsh concept, some question it more along the lines of something like spanking children. Tough love is about trying to make someone better by subjecting others to certain harsh conditions. It may seem like abuse, but this is one of those "greater good" situations. Tough love is a concept you don't have to approve of to appreciate. It is more like a "last resort" to try to express love to someone or to help groom someone to be better. Tough love is certainly justified if the point is to make someone better by putting them into situations they are not happy to be in.


Now time for some final thoughts on tough love.

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Tough Love: Final Thoughts

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Love should not have to hurt. However, tough love is needed often times to try to show love and respect to others. It is love that involves hurt. Someone who is already feeling hurt does not need extra hurt or bad news to go along with whatever is bothering the individual. It is tough to grasp the concept of tough love as someone who is given tough love. People do not want to be looked on as failures or liabilities in life. If someone can be better, subjecting someone to tough love can help someone become better and help that person think for himself/herself. While tough love is meant to be a tactic for improving someone as a person, it can also be damaging and perhaps even test the limits of relationships between family and friends. Tough love is still something needed and justified if conditions call for tough love to be employed. It is an unconventional and potentially damaging way of showing love, but it is still love nonetheless.





This post has concluded. Thank you for visiting "John's Life Space!" Before I close this post out, allow me to ask you this discussion question if you enjoyed this post:

What are your thoughts on tough love? Have you employed tough love tactics to others? How have you handled tough love?

I have been busy with a lot of projects and stuff, so my rate of making blog posts has diminished. I still run this blog and others because there are still many things to get across to the world. I hope you appreciate my efforts with this blog and in my other work. So thank you for reading! Take care and be well.

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Social Media Unfriending/Unfollowing

Social media is usually my only connection to people I know personally. So when someone I think of and connected to drops me, I tend to wonder why. One person who seemed missing from my Facebook feed inspired me to blog about this topic. Most people wonder why they are no longer followed or friends when someone gets dropped. Let this blog post offer some thoughts of mine on why you or someone else may get dropped from someone's friend list in social media.

About the Label: "Social Media"

Topics under this Label relate to social media life issues. These can be basic life issues on social media or social media itself.

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Social Media Unfriending/Unfollowing

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^ from: (hover cursor over image for credit) - Friends forever? Think again, at least in social media...

It usually takes some time to get to be friends with someone online. It is usually a great feeling when you do finally get to connect with someone through social media. You become a part of that person's life once you connect through social media. Usually, the mindset I get is that someone whom I connect with among personal friends and those I don't know personally will stay for some long time. However, that is not always the case. Someone can easily do away with you as much as you tried to connect with someone in the first place.

What happens when you no longer follow someone or drop a friend online? You basically set up that disconnect from that individual. Especially if online is the only way you can connect with others, it is depressing when your only connection to someone is dropped. That is the way for me since going from a regular college student to a stay-at-home blogger. Many of my old friends from grade school and college are those whom I haven't seen in a long while. I always want to believe I did nothing to hurt anyone. Even still, I know I did things probably taken out of context. I also know that while I may or may not have done anything wrong, some individuals simply don't want anything to do with you anymore, even if you have been genuine and respectful. My mindset is that anyone whom I connect with is someone who I feel I have made a positive impact on that person's life. So if/when I get dropped by that person, I wonder if I did enough to remain respectful or if someone simply just has a change of heart and decides to move on from me.

No matter what, when you connect with someone on social media, you become a part of that person's life. What are you going to do when you are indeed connected? I had some incidents where people only connected with me to share suspicious websites, share my pictures and posts, and even to basically attack me with slurs and insults. If you are going to be friends with someone on social media, at least show you love and respect someone. You can then understand most reasons why people get dropped from friends lists in social media. Speaking of which...

Possible Reasons for Being Unfriended/Unfollowed.

There are many more reasons than what you will see here, but here are some of the different reasons:

• You did something to hurt that individual that is tough to forgive.
An example of this would be if you said hurtful things about someone behind that individual's back. You may have said some things to hurt someone, and the individual took offense to comments you posted elsewhere online. You may have (especially if you know someone personally) done something away from cyberspace to do harm to that individual. Rather than start an online firestorm, that individual may decide to simply drop you for your conduct towards that person.


• You rarely communicate with that individual.
One of my personal fears in social media is fearing I don't mean anything to anyone because I don't communicate often with that individual. That usually means I am just wasting someone's time and energy online. So I usually make some regular posts and think of others just to say I'm still here and still care in some capacity. One thing to understand is that not everyone checks their social media profiles all the time. So have some patience and understanding in this department.

This matter can really be a problem if you are connected with family, close personal friends, or even loved ones.


• The individual may only want to connect with personal friends and family.
If this were the old days of Myspace, this wouldn't be a problem much. However, in the case of services like Facebook (Which is vastly more personal), people often have extra profiles specifically for personal friends and family. Some people may even have their basic profile as the one to meet only personal friends and family. If this has happened to you and you still feel like contributing, try to find other ways to connect to show your appreciation at least as a fan. For example, maybe find another social network or seek some kind of fan page for that person. Maybe those are ways you can still be connected regardless.

When I connect with others, it is with loving interest and respect. I want to simply show I care about individuals on a personal level.


• Someone may have just chosen to delete certain individuals connected, and chose you among the deleted.
There are some people who feel like they have extra "clutter" among social media connections. And so, they decide to get rid of a bunch of people for whatever reason. The reasons vary as to why some people are dropped from friends lists. Sometimes, the ones most likely to get deleted are the ones who want to be friends just for the sake of being friends. These are usually the ones who want to simply share your pictures and posts, and they mostly don't want to do much towards showing respect for you as a person.

At other times, there are people who get dropped from friends lists simply because they have certain thoughts and opinions you are comfortable with. For example, someone's take on governmental policies or religious matters offend you. Such individuals who think in ways different from you can lead to not wanting to be associated with others. This can also lead to being unfriended if you are with someone.

Some people on social media will post things like, "let's see if people will respond to this post," usually asking you to post a certain comment or respond in a certain way about a certain topic. I do NOT take part in such posts. I don't do chain mail online. It is just my preference, and there are just some social networking things I don't take part in. To some people, it is important to participate in all of what someone tries to get others involved in. If you don't get involved, you could be unfriended/unfollowed by some people. You shouldn't have to be involved in everything even if you are pressured into doing things you don't do or believe in. For example, would you drink or smoke with friends even if you don't drink or smoke? People have to respect others' views and beliefs.


• While being supportive, you may have made a gesture meant to be a compliment but taken as an insult to that individual.
People usually say I am too kind or too sweet to others. I've said and done dumb things before. So I don't always say the best things. Things meant to be seen as compliments are often taken in a negative context. As a result, I have damaged a bond between myself and whatever individual I was trying to compliment.

One personal example is that I used to do "Follow/Favorite Friday" on Twitter. Some hated that I would include them in #ff posts on Twitter and block me. Always know that I try to be supportive and active. Some people, however, think differently with things like Follow/Favorite Friday on Twitter. I actually stopped making such posts like that even as someone said nobody does "#ff" posts anymore.


• The individual may have just simply moved on from you.
You care about someone with a great amount of heart, but someone simply has moved on from you. You probably did nothing wrong. All that happens is that there is an old friend of yours who simply wants nothing to do with you even if you did nothing to harm someone. It happens. Many of my old grade school and college friends probably don't even know me anymore or don't see me as being anyone relevant anymore. Nothing you can do about it. That person moved on from you, and you probably have to move on from that individual as well.


• The individual may have simply given up on social media.
Some people may just do away with social media entirely. You did nothing wrong in this case- that person just decided to do away with social media. It has happened to me before. There's nothing you can do about it. You did nothing wrong- that person just doesn't want anything to do with social media anymore. Being on social media is not essential to living.

Personal Admittances of Unfriending/Unfollowing.

I mentioned people who seemed to only follow for the sake of friends. Sometimes on Facebook, I note some people don't use Facebook much or comment much. I usually check on birthdays if someone really is active. I am well aware that not everyone uses Facebook (or any other social network medium) all the time. However, if the only connection is through making posts on peoples' birthdays, I usually drop that person. Chances are, someone who does not post often or even care to say "thank you" or anything, that's when I usually move on from certain individuals.


It is now time to make some final thoughts to conlude this post.

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Final Thoughts

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No matter who you come across in life, you will meet people whom you highly respect and those whom you disrespect in some capacity. You are part of a person's life when connected through social media. Some people even see it is a necessity to be with someone through social media. Despite this dependence on social media, not everyone stays with you all the time. The feeling of being dropped by someone who you care about or find importance in can be damaging. It becomes case of unrequited love that leaves you feeling unloved. Or in other words, the individual you care about may not love you or care about you enough as much as you care about that individual. There are cases where the individual does not put an emphasis on social media much to actually care. In some sad-but-true cases, the person may have simply moved on from you even if you did nothing really wrong to trigger someone dropping you from his/her friends list and his/her life. It may also be possible that someone simply does not want to get involved with social media a whole lot regardless of how much you try to involve others.

If you have been dropped previously, you can try to make attempts to get back with that individual online. If your attempts fail, you may simply have to just move on; that person already did with you. Not everything is your fault if you feel you are fault. So don't be hard on yourself if you are in this situation. Also note that not everyone consistently and regularly follows social media. It is not the end of the world or the end of your life because certain individuals have dropped you from social media. It may just mean you have to look elsewhere and meet new people. Friends come and go both in real life and on social media. Honor your current and old friends, but always seek to meet new people and show new respect for new individuals.





I hope this helps some of you and maybe help you relate. Want to discuss this topic?

How do you deal with unfriending/unfollowing on social media? What constitutes wanting to unfollow/unfriend someone to you on social media?

Thank you for reading! Take care and be well.

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Productivity

Being productive is a good way to establish yourself. According to a report, March is told to be the least productive month of the year for most people. This post is about productivity and being productive. Hopefully this will offer some insight in being better in this department. So let's begin!

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Productivity at a Glance

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There is no worse feeling for me than that of not getting anything done and no progress being made. Working alone or with others can help or hinder being productive. Everyone must be working and focused to make productivity work. What happens when are NOT productive? Well for one, nothing gets done or takes a while to get done. A number of factors can contribute to whether or not work gets done. We all have to try to work to the best of our ability on anything we take part in or are assigned to do.

More than anything, I think physical and/or mental fitness can play a serious role in being productive. If you lack the energy to do things, you will not be productive. Productivity involves being fully focused and able to do anything you set your mind and heart to. Do you have to be at your very best to be productive? Well, not really. You may be sick or not fully healthy yet still be fully productive. It is much the same way that you don't have to be slim and slender to be healthy. Some people may be healthy despite being overweight. What you must remember is that in order for tasks to be complete, you have to make the most of your effort to work as well as be able to complete a task in an efficient manner. Even tasks that may take longer than others need to be done in an efficient way to complete tasks without exceessive losses of time.

You have to motivtate yourself or have someone try to motivate you if you lack the energy to be productive. I usually am hard on myself if I try to complete a task that could be completed in a shorter amount of time than what I usually end up with. If you beat yourself up over this, you won't get anywhere. So you need to have some patience and some promise. Motivate yourself; just don't punish yourself or be too hard on yourself.

If it seems you can't make yourself more productive, take a break from what you're doing and figure out what you need to do to try to complete tasks better. You may need to take a new approach to enhance your chances of being more productive. Most of all in being productive- do not give up or deem something impossible. If there is no hope of getting the outcome you are hoping for, then it is okay to give up on something. You still must try not to let even the littlest of shortcomings alter your level of productivity.

Final Thoughts.

As Final Thoughts for productivity, just try to keep yourself motivated and focused. Try to get yourself "in the groove," so to speak, to try to complete tasks. Also try to complete tasks in an efficient manner if you can. It is probably best if you can try to work with others to complete the same task. If you do not have others to work with you, then it is up to you to deliver in a solo effort. These factors all contribute to how productive you can be.





I hope you have yourself a great day and that my advice has helped. I don't have the best advice all the time, but I at least try. Remember to Subscribe and/or Follow if my work means something to you. Thank you for reading! Take care and be well.

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