Tough Love
Time to talk tough love.
^ from: (True Beauty for Ashes) - Love shouldn't have to hurt. But sometimes, tough love is needed to show how much we care for others.
Tough Love Defined.
So what is "tough love?" Well, tough love is where you want to show you love someone or want the best in someone by putting them through harmful situations. You are putting someone through these trials in an attempt to see if that individual or those individuals can survive through them.The reason why I think it is called "tough" love is because we often think of love as a concept not meant to hurt anybody. Love should be sweet and affectionate. Many people even have their own idea of what love really is. Sometimes, being a success involves being subject to harsh conditions. That is where the concept of "tough love" comes in. You still love someone and want someone to be their best; only that you are trying to show it in a way outside of a soft and comfortable manner. So rather than offer calming words and encouragement, you are instead putting someone in a situation one may not like to be in, but for the greater good of teaching certain life lessons.
An example of tough love for me personally was when I was a college student. My brother once made me type up or write down how I was managing my time in community college. I was allowed a half-hour to casually use the Internet. I hated that I had to document my time in the computer lab because I felt like I was THAT bad apparently. Granted I wasn't the world's best college student, this was tough love from my own brother to help me to be better in college. Did I enjoy being looked on as a failure? Not at all. I didn't like being looked on as a liability or a failure; but if someone saw something special in me and wanted to extract it out of me, then I could do nothing but take my "punishment." I don't have to love tough love to appreciate the concept.
Is Tough Love Fair?
To the ones who need lessons to be taught, of course it is not fair. Loved ones don't want to be in overly harsh settings or be looked on like slaves or animals. However, if the end game is to make someone cared about better, it is worth it if needed. Who wants to feel like they are poor members of society and are completely worthless?As much as people don't want to be treated this poorly with tough love, it is sometimes needed to help someone. So tough love can be entirely fair even if people do not agree with this tactic.
The Psychology of Tough Love.
Someone who is in need of being taught some discipline often feel they are stupid. Almost as if one is a serial failure in life and seems completely hopeless and incapable of being a proper functioning member of society. Those who feel stupid and unloved often face depression or intense anger. If that level of disregard reaches a certain breaking point, then being taught tough love basically can make someone feel terrible.On one end, someone taught tough love may come to a point where someone starts being even more self-reliant just to feel happier about oneself. Tough love can also increase the possibility of being isolated from loved ones and other individuals. These are mere side effects when someone feels they have to experience tough love just to be better regarded and to become better people.
Justifying Tough Love.
Because tough love is a harsh concept, some question it more along the lines of something like spanking children. Tough love is about trying to make someone better by subjecting others to certain harsh conditions. It may seem like abuse, but this is one of those "greater good" situations. Tough love is a concept you don't have to approve of to appreciate. It is more like a "last resort" to try to express love to someone or to help groom someone to be better. Tough love is certainly justified if the point is to make someone better by putting them into situations they are not happy to be in.Now time for some final thoughts on tough love.
Tough Love: Final Thoughts
Love should not have to hurt. However, tough love is needed often times to try to show love and respect to others. It is love that involves hurt. Someone who is already feeling hurt does not need extra hurt or bad news to go along with whatever is bothering the individual. It is tough to grasp the concept of tough love as someone who is given tough love. People do not want to be looked on as failures or liabilities in life. If someone can be better, subjecting someone to tough love can help someone become better and help that person think for himself/herself. While tough love is meant to be a tactic for improving someone as a person, it can also be damaging and perhaps even test the limits of relationships between family and friends. Tough love is still something needed and justified if conditions call for tough love to be employed. It is an unconventional and potentially damaging way of showing love, but it is still love nonetheless.
This post has concluded. Thank you for visiting "John's Life Space!" Before I close this post out, allow me to ask you this discussion question if you enjoyed this post:
What are your thoughts on tough love? Have you employed tough love tactics to others? How have you handled tough love?
I have been busy with a lot of projects and stuff, so my rate of making blog posts has diminished. I still run this blog and others because there are still many things to get across to the world. I hope you appreciate my efforts with this blog and in my other work. So thank you for reading! Take care and be well.
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