JOHN'S LIFE SPACE DISCLAIMER:

"John's Life Space" features a variety of content to many audiences. The majority of content is meant to suit an audience 13 years of age and older. Some material offered in this blog may not be suitable for all audiences and may include some topics too sensitive or discomforting to discuss. All advice offered in this blog is not meant to replace or substitute practical help. If you require counseling or want more professional help, please consult your healthcare provider, a psychologist, or any other qualified individual.
Showing posts with label School/College. Show all posts
Showing posts with label School/College. Show all posts

Tuesday, March 7, 2023

Transgender Acceptance and Inclusion

John B. Marine | March 07, 2023 | | | | | | Be the first to comment!
Recent controversy by a major candy maker has inspired me to discuss transgender acceptance and inclusion. As the LGBT community is being better accepted, transgender acceptance and inclusion is still a major hurdle. This blog discussion of transgender acceptance and inclusion may not solve any transgender issues, but it will be a chance to discuss transgenders being better accepted and included in a number of arenas and outlets.






Transgender Acceptance and Inclusion


Let me start this post by sharing the inspiration for this topic.

Hershey's Chocolate [of Canada] generated controversy recently when promoting their "HerSHE" candy. The controversy involves a transgender woman being among real females. In today's changing culture, a lot of people think this is an excellent move for a transgender woman to be regarded and respected as a woman. The anti-transgender crowd, however, thought much differently. Some even used the saying, "women are born not worn." This 2023 Hershey's HerSHE campaign fueled the desire of me to discuss transgender acceptance and inclusion.


In Case You're Interested...

Check out this brief piece that helped spark my discussion on transgender acceptance and inclusion:



^ "Hershey's Women's Day campaign featuring trans activist sparks backlash"


In addition to this bit of controversy, a number of different state governments in the United States are ruling things like drag queen shows as punishable crimes. There is still a great deal of transphobia ranging from violence and discrimination against transgenders. A number of transgenders have lost their lives due to senseless violence.

The LGBT community is still very much trying to get more support and bearings, but it is still an uphill struggle to be accepted and included. Some people think transgenders are more along the lines of those who *choose* to be a gender other than their birth gender. For example, it is like (in the minds of a transphobe) a male chooses for a day to be a female rather than accept that a male at birth identifies as and acts as a female. I even remember when a female-to-male transgender became pregnant. Regardless of the gender preference of an individual, it is best to respect and acknowledge those preferences along with preferred pronouns. If a male prefers any pronouns, respect that. If a female prefers "he/him/they," respect those pronouns and use them.


Until transgenders are better accepted by the general public, we have to strive towards helping them get the respect and attention they aspire. How do we work towards transgenders being better accepted and included? I'll begin by discussing acceptance. Next section, please.




Transgender Acceptance


A lot of people mostly think of transgender types either as crossdressing or something comical. As if most people believe some transgender types really enjoy *playing* as their opposite gender. LGBT+ as it stands is already an exercise in trying to be accepted. Being transgender is even more a difficult deal to try to be accepted. Transgenders simply want to be accepted and acknowledged for their gender preference(s). Perhaps the bigger issue would involve those who legally and medically have proper transgender transition going. Even those who still have their preferences towards gender should be respected for their choices.

A person's gender preference is as important and as intimate as a person's name. As much as someone hates being called out of their name, a person hates to be misgendered. Even if an M2F transgender specifically prefers being referred to as a she/her, she hates being referred to as a he/him. What could be a less stressing circumstance is if the transgender person prefers any or all pronouns.

I do think as the LGBT community is becoming better accepted, there eventually will be fewer transphobic types. You can't eliminate transphobia, but it can surely be curbed. The problem is that not many people are willing to accept certain transgenders.


Transgender Acceptance: Transgender Youth.

My biggest fear among transgenders is with transgender youth. One of the brightest beacons and hopes for the transgender community is Jazz Jennings. Having such a supportive family and actually going through with all the different nuances of transitioning properly has been handled nicely by Jazz and her family. Even if you never seen "I Am Jazz," just know Jazz was a little boy who always known she was a girl in a boy's body. The extensive experiences by Jazz has helped her to become the beautiful and strong woman she is today.

Most transgender youth, however, do not have such support that Jazz Jennings got. Some siblings actually get kicked out of their houses by their parents or relatives for being any denomination of LGBT, let alone transgender. I remembered the first transgender I've ever known how she hated to be kicked out of her house by her grandmother just because she's transgender. This was in my college days, but being transgender in grade school can be damaging. Imagine being 17 or younger and out of a house because of being transgender.

Young transgenders could be faced with such a tough life ahead, so it is best to work with them as well as offer hope and protection to them. It is best to give them hope rather than let them feel worthless. If you are a parents of a transgender (or even a genderqueer) individual at 17 or younger, try to work with them to ensure they will be okay for years to come. Among peers, respect a transgender and whatever pronouns and gender identity a young transgender may prefer.


This is all a tough subject. Now coming up, I discuss transgender inclusion.




Transgender Inclusion


As someone who follows fashion, the feeling of inclusion is what a lot of people want to have. Fashion designers have been more open to designing clothes for many more figures and even for the LGBT community. Hershey's offering inclusion for transwomen as part of the "HerSHE" campaign is commendable. It is commendable even if the anti-transgender crowd think Hershey's should be ashamed for including a transwoman to be among cisgender women. Playboy Magazine, known for their sultry models, even showcased a transgender model in the magazine's long history. There is certainly inclusion among certain entities to include transgenders.

Transgenders do not believe they are their birth gender. Some people experience gender dysphoria, the feeling of being dissatisfied with their birth gender or preferred gender. Some people wanting to transition have hated their lives living as their birth gender and want to start anew as another gender. A transgender can be very young or even be north of age 50. Regardless- all transgenders want to be included and respected.

I think a lot of people tend to look at transgenders as monsters. Fact is- transgenders are human beings as any other human. Unless guilty of committing legitimate crimes, they should be included among the rest of the world. The trouble to all of this is that transgenders have a tough time being included. Some just fail to see the person and only latch onto gender. Until more people are accepted for their personality and their abilities, this will continue to be an issue.


Allow me to close out this one with some final thoughts.




Transgender Acceptance and Inclusion: Final Thoughts


Transgender acceptance and inclusion can be tough to come by. Though in today's culture, it is becoming better accepted in a number of countries. A changing culture means that current culture has to keep up with new changes. Those changes include better accepting the LGBT community, including transgenders.

Acceptance for the transgender community begins with giving hope, protection, and respect to transgenders. Transgenders should be able to be accepted into the workforce and stay in families. Acceptance among transgenders also mean respecting the gender(s) and pronoun(s) they prefer. The acceptance process can be tougher for transgender youth, as the stakes can be higher for them. Parents who refuse to be as supportive to young transgenders can run the risk of severing the bonds of parent-sibling for the rest of a young transgender's life. So special care is needed to prevent the chances of some serious distrust.

Transgender inclusion is as big an issue as acceptance. It helps knowing a transgender can be accepted in a given space and not be subject to any kind of discrimination. If my earlier examples of inclusion were of any indication, I am sure more companies and environments will be more inclusive and respectful of transgenders.

I do feel LGBT types will be better accepted, at least here in the United States of America. If we can get over the mindset that transgenders are monsters or diseased, we can better accept them as people and with the proper pronouns they prefer. It took ages for racial injustice to be curbed. We can do the same for the LGBT community, including transgenders. Unless a transgender is guilty of legitimate crimes or commits crimes, all transgenders should be respected equally as non-transgender individuals.


For More Information...

I have a list of helpful resources for everyone, but I have a special set of helpful resources for the LGBT community. You may view my LGBT resources at LGBT Resources on John's Life Space.





I hope you found this post helpful and assuring. If you enjoy my work, please Subscribe/Follow my blog(s) in any capacity if you love my work and want to support me any way you can. Share my blog post(s) with others if you enjoy my work. Thank you for reading! Take care and be well.

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Thursday, March 2, 2023

Asking for a Friend

John B. Marine | March 02, 2023 | | | | Be the first to comment!
What has become the latest trendy phrase is "asking for a friend." The concept works like this- rather than the person in question ask for advice, his/her/their friend asks for them. Can another person be trusting enough to legitimately ask a question to someone else and get proper advice?

I actually think this is a legitimate concept if one actually is too afraid to ask on one's own. However, I do not think one person should feel overly embarrassed. If someone wanted to visit my blog(s) for advice on something, it's here for you- no need to ask, not really any shame if you have such concerns.


Asking for a Friend: Sample Scenario.

Okay- let us set up a scenario. Let's say a straight male has a romantic attraction to another male or a transgender woman, and he has questions regarding intimacy. That male would probably want to find out on his own answers to his questions, but he would feel embarrassed to ask on his own. So someone would tell a friend to get some answers speaking on his behalf. I think someone would have to be bold enough and trusting enough to help get answers to such questions.


Asking for a Friend: No "Friend?"

What if the "asking for a friend" was simply one person having an embarrasing question and not really asking on behalf of any person? This situation would be the kind of situation where someone can absolutely question the validity of asking others for advice. In a situation like this, the person would mostly pretend to ask for advice but is really lying about trying to ask a question on a friend's behalf when there is no one he/she/they asks for. Such people protect one's own character by pretending to ask on someone else's behalf when they are the ones wanting certain advice on something.


When Asking for a Friend Can Work.

The only real situation where I can see where asking for a friend works is if someone asks a friend about something to someone who may be tough to communicate with. For example, someone may want some advice from someone who may be tough to talk with. This is the only real situation where I can see asking for a friend actually working.


Final Thoughts on Asking For a Friend.

Salute to anyone who is willing to ask questions about things to other people on their behalf. I know it can be tough trying to ask on your own, but there is more credibility and honesty when you ask questions yourself or looking for answers on your own. It is okay to ask about embarrassing things to others. Especially if you have trust issues, it is best to ask about things on your own than rely on someone else to ask on your behalf. Maybe if someone is tough to talk with about things, then it may be okay to ask for someone to try to talk with such individuals. Other than that, try to gather the courage to ask about things yourself. Preserve your honesty and character by asking questions yourself that may embarrass or concern you rather than rely on friends.





At least... these are my thoughts regarding the whole "asking for a friend" thing. You are free to react any way you see fit. Or let me ask...

How do you feel about "asking for a friend" about certain things?

You have been reading "John's Life Space"- my blog about life issues! If you enjoyed your time here and want more discussion of various life issues, make sure to subscribe/follow my work here! Recommend this blog to others if you find my topics and advice helpful. Thank you for reading! Take care and be well.

Visit my JohnMarineDesigns Weebly site, subscribe to My Blog(s), and/or Follow on Bloglovin! Let's connect:
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Tuesday, January 24, 2023

Always Seen Negatively

John B. Marine | January 24, 2023 | | | | | Be the first to comment!
Do you feel like some people only communicate with you when something is wrong or when you fail? This angers me personally. Someone who may think so can range from peers to even family members. Maybe you do have certain problems that need to be corrected. Conversely, you may be around people who simply don't love and respect you enough to acknowledge your positive qualities rather than always attack you for doing wrong. No matter what the case, only you know most what you are capable of. It is time for me to speak on this topic.






Always Seen Negatively


All of us have qualities which make us good and bad. How much people view our qualities help establish a sort of overall opinion about ourselves. Are we great and engaging people that make us loved in the face of others? Are we poor enough to actually not be as loved as we could be?

Some people will say something along the lines of, "only God can judge me." This means that for whatever someone bad may say about us, no one person can absolutely judge us properly to give a final opinion about who we are and what we mean to this world. Why do we judge, though? Well, we sometimes want to know how other people think about us regardless of what we think about ourselves. It is a case of wanting to know... but then not really wanting to know.

Okay- that moment comes. "What do you think about me?" If are given positive remarks or mostly positive remarks, you're good! However, let's say you aren't as good as you may think. Now what?

Personally, I feel offended when I am only seen for my negatives instead of my positives. A person who mostly seems to communicate with you with your faults makes you want to cut that person out of your life instead of being re-reminded (to that person) how horrible of a person you are. What is worse is only being negative to someone and not offer any advice or help to someone who is facing problems. In this regard, you are essentially a bully if you only talk to certain people when they are doing wrong or if you only communicate with people when someone is at their lowest points. In some people with anger problems, it makes some disturbed people want to fight somebody or something. Constantly feeling seen negatively (or feeling this way) only lessens your worth to the world in your eyes. You know you are a better person than what most people think about you, so do what you can to help drown out negative thoughts about you people may make about you.


When Usually Viewed Poorly.

I sometimes think of celebrities and some other popular figures in this regard. As an example, there was a time when Miley Ray Cyrus was considered the worst celebrity influence. Many people (myself included) loved her as "Hannah Montana" on Disney. Outside of "Hannah Montana," she became the worst celebrity influence for children in 2009 mostly for her "Wrecking Ball" song and her sexual dancing. Despite this, many praised Miley Cyrus for being a positive influence, like with her song "The Climb."

There are times when media outlets only seem to focus on the negatives of people. This makes it to where it is easy to dismiss people on certain other qualities. For example, let's say a well-known celebrity does lots of charity work and encourages other people to be better... but he/she/they may be seen as a bad person because of some incident that person has made into a bad figure. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion about things- even including people. When you know you are a better person than how you are portrayed, it makes you feel terrible inside knowing you are better than what people may think. A person who is even trying to get into the better graces of people often want to feel loved or recognized.

The reality, though, is that not everyone will be seen in any positive light all the time. Some people even await when someone who seems a hero/heroine will do something wrong to where all of the positive qualities turn out to be lies. No matter who you love or are into, you are never going to be 100% supportive of everyone. Everyone (including myself) is going to have some quality you are not going to like and will give you a reason to hate someone.



Now let me talk about what to do if constantly feeling negatively.



Always Seen Negatively - By Peers.

You are going to encounter people who always seem to think of you negatively. Are you really a bad person? This is common in school. You know you are not going to be the most popular person on campus among other students. You will be picked on and possibly bullied.

Maybe you are part of a workplace where you always feel slighted by the general public. Do you still do your job at your workplace, or do you feel you are replacable, serviceable talent?

In the face of peers, always remember who are and what you really mean to people around you. Your purpose to others is not to be the butt of everyone's jokes unless you are seriously antisocial or lacking any positive qualities. Surround yourself with people who care about you and understand you. You do not have to go it alone or be more reserved.


Always Seen Negatively - By Family.

I always say the closest friends you'll make are your family. When you feel a family member, stepfamily member, or a relative keeps regarding you negatively; you feel hurt because that is someone close to you who looks at you in a negative way. I once researched the murder of singer Marvin Gaye thinking about this topic. Marvin Gaye was one of the most powerful and popular singers in R&B music until he was killed by his father.

Sometimes, we make tough decisions to cut some people out of our lives; or at least, not be reluctant to look to some people for help. That even includes cutting family members out of our lives. Anything to help us do and feel better has to be done for our betterment later in life including isolation from loved ones will have to be made.

If you feel a family member may be difficult to deal with, you may just have to choose to work independently and limit your association and contact with that person. It may not help your bond with someone improve, but it can help for you to feel better about yourself in the area of such people. This is one of those tough decisions you may want to make if you feel a family member always sees you negatively and have given up trying to get into someone's good graces.


Always Seen Negatively - Special Considerations.

Maybe the reason you are seen negatively by people is because of certain qualities that overshadow anything good you do. Namely, reasons because of religious views, governmental views, sexual orientation, and the like. You might be a person who helps others and encourages others. Despite this, you may forever be seen in a poor light because of something like coming out gay or being openly gay.

Cases like this really should encourage you to move on from others and only focus on yourself. This comes back to the quote of not pandering to someone who you do not see in your future.




What to Do To Not See People So Negatively


Here are some things to keep in mind in regards to not being so negative to people...

Celebrate and respect someone's success. Even if you are someone who disapproves of one's work, at least respect the person is doing very well and is very happy. Only be concerned if someone really is going down a path that is considered dangerous or hazardous.

Respect others' privacy. If someone chooses to be privately or not want to communicate with certain people, respect the privacy of others. Don't try to barge in.

Let others have their happiness. Do not try to ruin someone who may be having happy vibes. People who are on a creative trip or a happy trip should not be brought down. Allow people to be happy.

Remember you do not know what people are going through. Before you judge someone, do not assume you know everything a person is going through if they are doing so poorly. If someone is not willing to express their issues with you, either they choose to keep their problems to themselves, or they don't trust you enough to try to solve their issues. Just have patience with people you love or care about.

Let a person be on their own if they can't be helped, but do not hassle or bully that person. It is tough to try to work with someone who may not want to be helped or can't be trusted enough. The best thing you may want to do is simply not associate yourself with that person. Just make sure not to continually harass or demean someone.



You are not a bad person just because someone is such a poor person in your eyes. It also does not mean you are a poor influence because you can't help someone who may need help. People just think in different ways to where even the best advice is not really helpful in the long run. You can only do what you can do. Just make yourself better as a person if you feel you can do better to better get through to others.

Now that we have established a lot of ground work, it is time I give some final thoughts. The next section wraps up this post, so move ahead.




Always Seen Negatively - Final Thoughts


While others' perceptions about us are not required to make, we at least want to know if we can be better people no matter what anyone thinks about us. Do not persuade people to give opinions about ourselves. However, always think about how you are perceived to others as opposed to what you think about yourself. Your actions can help determine if people will respect you or disrespect you.

It is not the end of the world because someone you care enough about always seems to be negative about you or only focus on you when doing wrong. It may mean you have to either try to build a better bond with such people or be more independent of that person's support. You could be a perfectly fine person who may be trying but still get looked down for whatever reason(s). Cut some people out of your life or limit your contact with someone who you feel you can't build a solid bond with.

One other important thing to think about in all of this is to not judge someone so poorly when you don't know what the person is going through. Even if you think you know what someone is going through, you really do not know EVERYTHING a person may be dealing with. So make sure to respect the privacy and thoughts of what someone is going through. Do not attempt to help someone by making backhanded compliments or only feeling someone only exists to hurt you.

We can do a lot to try to help be seen better than how a lot of us are ultimately seen. While we want to know how others feel about us, only you can judge you best. Some of us may be trying to better liked, but progress could be slow. It still does not mean we are failures because of our lack of trying or slow rates of success. We can always work to improve and be seen as better people. That is, unless some people have unrealistic expectations about us. No one person is a disgrace to humanity unless that person commits seriously offensive crimes (such as murder or terrorism). Anyone who is seen poorly can work to be better in the eyes of such people. If some people seem too complicated to work with or be associated with, the best thing you could do is simply cut that person or those people out of your life. Their loss will be your gain unless that person or those people can finally come around to respecting you as the person you truly are... IF they eventually do...





I hate discussing things like this, but I feel I need to get these things out based on thoughts of mine or personal experiences. If I am experiencing some things I discuss in my blog posts, I feel and want to believe others may need some help on the same matters. I always say we are all battling the same battles. From time to time, we need to rely on each other and build off of each other to help live better lives. That is what I hope I am accomplishing on "John's Life Space." So if you appreciate my efforts, please feel free to follow my blog(s) in some capacity. Support me and my work any way you can. If you enjoy my work, please Subscribe/Follow my blog(s) in any capacity if you love my work and want to support me any way you can. Share my blog post(s) with others if you enjoy my work. Thank you for reading! Take care and be well.

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Wednesday, June 2, 2021

Survival in Life

John B. Marine | June 02, 2021 | | | | | | Be the first to comment!
Today, June 2, 2021; marks 20 years since I graduated from High School. This gives me an opportunity to express some motivational content. It was a long road ahead, especially in my Senior year. I will use this time to offer hope for people who fear they will not graduate or fulfill any major goal. So welcome to my "John's Life Space" blog, a blog regarding life issues.


Before I Begin...

If any of you have recently graduated from grade school or college, congratulations!






Survival in Life!


Before I get into sharing my main advice, let me share a story with you. This will help set the tone for me offering advice on trying to get through some of life's toughest moments.


My Life Survival Story.

The setting is 1997. I began High School after facing a lot of troubles in Middle School. Halloween 1997- I was suspended for the first time ever, as I was suspended for fighting. I started feeling down on myself and hating the outlook I had on life. This was where I began developing depression in my life. Fast forward to 1999. I got suspended one last time and was sent to an alternative High School. Some of the ones who hated on me attended that other school. As I did well in my classes, I then was offered to go to an alternative magnet High School mostly devoted towards technology later that year. Yes- THREE High Schools in one year!

In no way was I happy with myself or where my life was headed. I already missed many of my friends from my first High School. And as my mother was constantly upset about my rough progress through High School, I felt like I had to make graduation happen at this alternative magnet High School, because I'd hate to have to look to later in my life to get my GED. It was tough, but I pulled through the 1999-2000 school year. This even included completing my Science Fair project.

Then came the 2000-2001 school year. OH, boy... The early part of this school year was pretty okay as I managed to put forth decent grades. Then came a shock in 2001- I might not graduate because of two classes I failed at my first High School. This meant that instead of going to school just Monday-Friday, it meant I basically went to school EVERY DAY OF THE WEEK. The two classes were at a community college I would eventually get my Associate's in the Arts from later in my life. The schedule in 2001 was Monday-Friday, Friday nights, Saturday mornings, and Sunday afternoon- just to get enough credits to graduate from High School. I felt even more hopeless knowing what challenges I was facing. If I failed to make it through High School, I'd never hear the end of it. I will have failed my family if I was unable to overcome these obstacles. All I could do was try to pass all of my classes so I could graduate. That's even if I barely squeak by. At this point, I cared more about defeating my demons rather than try to chase perfection. I ended up passing my extra High School classes well. Now it's about trying to get enough passing credit to somehow graduate from High School. Even as I was rewarded at the Texas Scholars banquet in April 2001, I felt further motivated to pass my remaining classes. As late May casted its shadow onto me, I was hoping my hard work to defeat my demons and try to stand tall would be worth it. Turns out...

MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!

On June 2, 2001; I would see many of my new friends and fellow Class of 2001 for maybe the last time in person. More importantly, getting my cap, gown, and class ring proved that I made it. I faced all kinds of pressure in my life as well as things outside of my life and survived. This was the day and the moment I never thought would happen. I almost felt too disappointed in myself to feel I would never graduate from High School. Would it have been better if I had graduated impressive grades? Absolutely. However, when you've experienced some of the ugliest circumstances and have only little hope or encouragement, you'll gladly take victory over defeat. I was told by my Principal that there was "a surprise for me." So at the graduation ceremony, I was wondering what the surprise was. Turns out... even though I ranked dead last among my 15-Senior class, I was the Most Improved Student! When I found this out, I was SHOCKED! I couldn't believe my hopeless self graduated from High School while becoming the Most Improved Student of my class. I immediately went up on stage to receive my honors when I was called up. This remains one of the biggest accomplishments in my life even today. A depressing chain of events took me under, but I ultimately rose up to reach glory. Moreover, a burden on my (then) 18-year old self was lifted.

Looking back on my life now, I wished I didn't face such tough circumstances. I wished I didn't have to even go through going to two different High Schools besides the one I always wanted to graduate from. Sometimes in life, you don't always get what you want, and conditions will not always be favorable for you. The most important thing is that I worked to try to instill confidence in myself as well as try to prove to my parents that I am not a failure (as I was thinking at the time). I wanted to prove that my parents I was taught well to overcome any obstacle regardless of how successful I am. The point was- I made it. I survived. I am not afraid to admit I was a failing student when my life took a turn for the worse. What would have made me less of a person is if I quit and allowed my demons to win over me. I'd rather just squeak by rather than completely give up. You only get one chance in life, and if you blow it, you'll have to live with the consequences forever. It's why I tell people I am not any real success story. I am someone who found a way to win, even if it isn't an impressive one. A sports analogy would be that I managed to win a game by only a few points or win a race by less than one second. My victory wasn't impressive, but I achieved victory nonetheless.


Now that you know my story, it is time I offer some advice.




Survival Lessons Learned


What can you learn from me? How can I help others in a similar bind? Let me try to offer some points to help you.


You CAN Pull Through.

When faced with adversity, it is natural to feel as if you are completely hopeless. However, you are NOT! Even unconventional and unlikely methods of survival can be enough to help you deal through tough times. Once I felt my life go downhill, I had feelings that I would never again succeed. I felt I could never please myself or my family and friends. Athletes know this feeling of being down and needing some sort of run to reverse misfortune.


Doubting Yourself NEVER Helps.

While it is okay to feel you will not pull through, it is important for you to avoid feeling down and out when there is still time to improve. If you feel down on yourself, it just gets tougher trying to get back to a respectable base. Time you could spend loving yourself and giving yourself a chance ultimately adds to why you will never succeed in the eyes of others. All doubting yourself will do is only make accomplishing your goals [unnecessarily] harder. Remember- you are your own worst critic. Which leads to my next point...


It is Never Over Until It's Over!

Sports athletes and sports teams don't give up when there is still a chance to win. That is, unless there is no hope of actually coming back to win (for example, bring down three touchdowns in football with one minute left in the game). Even having little time to make a run at winning is still enough time to make magic happen. You must always give yourself a chance and make the most of your situation.


Celebrate Small Victories.

Completing long-term goals often includes succeeding at short-term goals. If you lost some weight by exercising or eating better, those are victories. At least they help towards a goal in having a certain body or being able to fit into certain clothes again. Small victories for me was in having decent report card reports towards passing classes. Work to accomplish your small goals to eventually accomplish the larger goal at hand. When you accomplish one task, keep accomplishing as many tasks as possible to reach your ultimate goal. Do not give up until you reach that ultimate goal.


Eyes on the Prize!

If you lose sight of your main objective or feel victory is out of reach, you will have already failed. The greatest individuals are celebrated most when they face adversity and defeat their demons. A sports team that comes from behind to win a game (and even a championship) are often the most revered and respected than someone who completely gives up. You can let your demons defeat you, or you can toughen up and try to win at any cost. Just remember- keep your eyes on the prize! You worked hard to get to this level; finish the fight.


Do YOU, Not Others.

Okay- this is going to sound selfish, but it is better you do for yourself rather than try to impress others. You are not going to impress everyone. Only you know you best. So make sure to take any measures to take care of yourself and build up your confidence so you can accomplish your tasks. If you focus too much on trying to impress others or feel like you have to constantly feel you have to prove yourself every time, you are only making it easier to fail. Just worry about your own needs and try to get the job done as best as you can. As the saying goes, "If you want something done right, do it yourself."


And finally...

Victory is Victory.

I did not graduate with impressive grades. I did not graduate with being happy and having high self-esteem. I basically survived and ultimately defeated my demons in High School. I will gladly take victory after having worked for it. I accomplished my ultimate task even if it was not pretty. My ultimate task was to graduate from High School, and I did just that. Work to achieve victory and regardless of style points, achieve victory nonetheless.


These bits of advice can help you when you are down. However, what if you tried you could and still fail? That will be answered in the next section...




What if You Do Ultimately Fail?


You did your best. Beating yourself up over failure is not going to help you in the future. You just need to think about what you need to do to learn from your fail and try to do better next time in a similar situation. Even if the pressure to perform is self-inflicted, you have to love yourself enough to feel you can accomplish anything. I did not have the best life as a High Schooler, and I'd be lying to you if I told you I had life easy and always made the best results. I even look back at bad experiences in my life and thought about how I could have done better if I faced the same situations again. There are even times I work on my computer and feel sad knowing I could have done better even if I barely succeeded in life. I didn't ask for the tough circumstances I faced, but I came through regardless, even if not in any impressive way.

Most importantly, do not let yourself be defined by your failures. No one is going to win every battle and every contest all the time. We sometimes need to experience failure to better appreciate being successful. Let failure motivate you, but not define you. Don't have a stigma of failure that curses your ability to ever be as great as you want to be. If you develop this stigma, you feel every attempt to make yourself better is a foregone conclusion that you will fail no matter what. Having this stigma only makes it harder for you to feel happy or feel you will ever become any kind of success.

Be sure to always give yourself a chance even when you feel hopeless and/or worthless. Not everyone can stand for themselves, and if you can't fend for yourself, it is always okay to ask for support from family and friends. Get all the motivation and hope you need. Having a support system will help make life better and better your chances of accomplishing a goal.

No matter what life throws at you, it is best you are well equipped and prepared to take on life's challenges. You must love yourself before you expect anyone else to love you. You must believe in yourself before expecting anyone to believe in you. Survival is possible. You just need to work to make it happen. Somehow, perhaps even you too will be able to accomplish goals despite insurmountable odds.





These brought back some difficult memories for me, but I always try to provide happiness and hope while discussing tough matters. I hope you can appreciate my efforts in this blog post. I also hope you can stay with my blog(s) for more content and for more advice. I want to help make the world a better place any way I feel I am capable of doing so. Care to discuss? Here's my question for you:

How did you overcome obstacles you felt you couldn't win? Or did you experience any extreme circumstances in your life that you were able to overcome somehow?

I'd like for you to Subscribe/Follow and support my work any way you can. I would greatly appreciate your kindness and support. Thank you for reading! Take care and be well.

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Friday, November 20, 2020

Virtual Learning vs. In-Person Learning

John B. Marine | November 20, 2020 | | Be the first to comment!
Since the COVID-19/Coronavirus pandemic raged, it has impacted our lives in many ways. One such way is through learning. Students and/or parents have had to choose between virtual and in-person learning. A dilemma has surfaced with those who have taken on virtual learning. Reports indicate some students have been failing with virtual learning, meaning some wish in-person learning would let students stand a better chance. However, the impact of this pandemic has turned the world upside down. Do you really want to push for more in-person learning considering the pandemic? This blog post is not a debate over virtual learning and in-person learning, but more a look at the two in today's culture.


Before I Begin...

It is not my job to convince you to take either side of this issue. I am simply here to discuss this matter as best as I can. Stay home if you do not feel comfortable going outside with this pandemic. No one is forcing you to go out anyways and potentially risk testing positive for COVID-19/Coronavirus.






Virtual Learning vs. In-Person Learning


No one thought COVID-19/Coronavirus would take over 2020 the way it has. It has even potentially impacted 2021 as well. With hundreds of thousands of cases and deaths involving COVID-19/Coronavirus, it has lead a number of locations to state their own restrictions to limit the spread as well as potentially defeat this pandemic. Some people believe this pandemic is only a hoax and that all of the news of people dying and events cancelled are only government propaganda. This pandemic has meanwhile affected our lives to have to live in a new normal. Part of this "new normal" involves education as well.

It is recommended to stay home if COVID-19/Coronavirus is at severe levels in your location. For some, however, getting out into the world is vastly important- even for reasons other than getting essentials or meeting with healthcare providers. Some experiences are made better doing things in person rather than doing so virtually. That is why (for example) more people would rather go to sporting events in person rather than see them on TV. It is a better experience to simply say you were there when an amazing sporting event happened. Some would rather dine at restaurants and bars rather than get curbside pickup or contactless delivery. Considering these factors, where does learning come into this discussion?

Well, for one, education is always important. I have had some experience taking online-only courses back in college. So I am very aware that virtual learning is much different from in-person learning. An understandable element of virtual learning is that someone will be away from meeting friends and instructors in person. One still has to be able to learn whatever it is one is trying to be educated about. The luxury of playing around with social media, TikTok, and other material will only deter the ability to get a quality education online. While in-person learning is better overall, virtual learning should not be overlooked or disregarded. In some cases, such as engineering classes or certain sciences, in-person learning is better. It also is important that technology is able to last and be sustainable through the course of dealing with virtual learning. There has to be sufficient telecommunications as well as capable technology to properly conduct virtual learning. That even means having a good amount of money to sustain all of this for virtual learning.

Some school districts here in Texas have reported a high percentage of student failing virtual learning. I believe I heard Fort Bend ISD or Brazosport ISD reported as many as 25% of students failed virtual learning classes. This was my motivation to blog about virtual learning vs. in-person learning. I sometimes even seen classes aired on Houston media with the Houston Independent School District providing virtual learning instruction mostly among elementary/primary school students.


Video Perspective.

Here is a look at virtual learning with some video perspective:


^ Challenges of virtual learning this fall


Now that we have looked at this whole issue in general, it is time for me to delve deeper into this matter.




Virtual Learning vs. In-Person Learning: Which Works Best?


I want to look at the two styles of learning. This is about both styles of learning for students, parents, and instructors. Consider the following...


Virtual Learning.

Virtual learning is much safer, as you can pretty much learn from anywhere without fearing catching COVID-19/Coronavirus. Contact with others is prevented as long as you are in safe settings. Some students who participate in virtual learning will not be able to have in-person contact with friends and classmates. Virtual learning implies one must rely on oneself to try to learn in school/college. So therefore, do not get indulged in social media, your favorite websites, or anything like TikTok as a student.

Virtual learning for parents is just as taxing. What a parent wants to do is make sure his/her sibling(s) stay focused and help out in learning things. A parent can sometimes face greater fatigue than students. A parent has to be both a teacher and a tutor in trying to keep their siblings active. Parents also have to be able to take care of themselves in addition to making sure their siblings make the most of their virtual learning.

Even instructors themselves can feel the pain! Instructors ranging from teachers to professors have to be able to deliver their lectures in a timely manner for students to try and learn the given concepts. Even such instructors have to keep themselves active and able through the entirety of a lesson.


In-Person Learning.

More people would rather take advantage of in-person learning during this COVID-19/Coronavirus pandemic. Being within contact of classmates, instructors, and even tutors would benefit students greatly. You also are within range of people that are readily available. However, there has to be various protocols in place so that everyone remains safe and not contract COVID-19/Coronavirus or some other pandemic. It also means both students and staff alike won't be able to operate at full capacity. And if in the case that someone tests positive for COVID-19/Coronavirus, the facility will be shut down and sanitized hugely.

As much as students can have their concerns about in-person learning, so too can instructors. This pandemic affects EVERYONE- including instructors and staff. So it isn't as if instructors are immune to this pandemic. They too have lives of their own, even possibly including their own children going to school. Some staff even form unions wanting to be protected for themselves and their students. So as much as in-person learning can be better than virtual learning, it comes with the risks of potentially contracting COVID-19/Coronavirus. It is a more dangerous proposition than being within the comfort of any virtual learning.


Now that I've discussed learning from a virtual and in-person perspective, allow me to offer some final thoughts.




Virtual Learning vs. In-Person Learning: Final Thoughts


It is your decision and your decision alone to learn either virtually or in person. Throughout this blog post, I mentioned both sides without really saying one should seriously choose one learning method over another. Some people feel the need to leave the house even in the wake of COVID-19/Coronavirus. Some others feel safer being at home and do virtual learning. Whichever method works for you is based on your own thoughts and your comfort level. As an analogy, one wouldn't wear certain clothing if not comfortable wearing certain outfits. Don't pressure yourself to learn in person if you are not comfortable leaving home through this pandemic. If you prefer in-person learning but have to settle for virtual learning based on mandates by government officials, then one will have to adjust to virtual learning instead.

No matter if you prefer virtual learning or in-person learning, there is one constant- learning. Going to school/college is a great responsibility. Even in trying to learn from the comfort of your own home virtually, you still carry great responsibility in trying to learn and better equip yourself for the future. The thing is that education is affected through this pandemic, offering a parallel between trying to learn and keeping yourself healthy and safe. You do not want to compromise either element if your end game is to get a quality education in spite of tough times. So choose between virtual learning and in-person learning based on your level of comfort and safety. No matter what your decision is, never stop learning. You can still be your absolute best no matter what life throws at you. Learn. Adapt. Succeed.





That's it for this blog post! If you want to discuss, let's do so!

Do you prefer virtual learning or in-person learning?

Everyone... PLEASE be safe in these times. If you feel sick or may feel worried you've contracted COVID-19/Coronavirus, PLEASE get tested. Be sure to take care of yourself. Practice all protocols to keep yourself and others safe. We WILL get through this, one way or another. Until then, keep good faith and remain hopeful. Thank you for reading! Take care and be well.

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Monday, February 10, 2020

Helicopter Parenting

John B. Marine | February 10, 2020 | | | Be the first to comment!
It is natural for a loving parent to be concerned about his/her child(ren). Sometimes, a parent can seem too protective or always wanting to check on a sibling. Constant and aggressive overlooking is called "helicopter parenting," and placing so much control over a sibling's life can damage them in the long run. This blog post explains what helicopter parenting is and how it affects the lives of children.






Helicopter Parenting


So what is being a "helicopter" parent? I'll explain in this blog post.

helicopter parenting
^ from: (Psychology Today) - It is okay to constantly be concerned about your children, but be careful not to be a helicopter parent to your children.

There is nothing wrong with a concerned loving parent checking on his/her child(ren). The problem at times, though, is when a parent always seem to shadow children. The feeling is similar to a helicopter hovering over someone or something. When a news report or a traffic report is on television, you usually see helicopter views of the scene. You hear and see the helicopter hover over the scene So is the namesake of "helicopter parenting." Helicopter parenting is defined as a form of parenting where you always seem to overlook your children in almost every situation. A pitfall of helicopter parenting is that it disallows a child to really learn on one's own and live his/her own life. This is all a matter of being overprotective and a bit of an invasion of privacy. Children WILL make mistakes in their lives and do things they think are right or acceptable. In the development of a child's life, they must be able to make mistakes and learn from them. As much as a child learning right from wrong is important in their development, having a certain level of involvement and concern is equally a part of a child's development.


Video Insight.

Here is some video insight on what helicopter parenting can do to children. Namely in this video, to teenagers. Take a look:


^ 5 Ways Helicopter Parents Can Affect You


Helicopter Parenting: Where Do You Draw the Line?

You do not want to constantly overlook your children to where they basically can not have their own private lives. If a child's privacy is invaded by parents, a child is unable to make his/her own choices and live his/her own life. Please note the main idea of this topic is not about whether or not you should be concerned about your children. If you are a loving and caring parent, then you obviously are concerned about your children and all that goes on in the life of your child(ren). It helps to let children have their privacy and live their lives as they choose. Only intervene in the sense of emergency or in some kind of concerning moment.


Helicopter Parenting: Final Thoughts.

While it is okay for a parent to constantly be concerned about your child(ren), being a helicopter parent can be damaging to a child's life. You have to allow for a child to have one's own privacy and live one's own life. You can still be a part of a child's life; just realize the child has some sort of privacy that must be respected. Child or children should also be able to make their own decisions in life for better or worse. A child should be able to take on certain life challenges and learn from them if/when a child makes a wrong decision or has a troublesome experience. A parent has every right to be concerned constantly. Just make sure not to be TOO involved in the decisions made by children, because the long-term effects can impact a child for the rest of his/her life. Take these things into consideration as a parent, and make sure to allow your child(ren) to live life as they can without too much restriction or restraint.





Hopefully this blog post and its subject matter is something you can relate to. Whether or not you find helicopter parenting to be good or bad is entirely your call. Be sure to read my many other blog posts and look at my Helpful Resoruces if you want some extra insight on many different things in life. Thank you for reading! Take care and be well.

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Tuesday, August 6, 2019

Enjoying School or College

John B. Marine | August 06, 2019 | | | | Be the first to comment!
Going to school or college/university is an excellent opportunity to prepare yourself for the future. You get to learn new things, meet new people, and see the world. Despite this, some hate school. I figure for this blog post, I will try to offer some suggestions for which to help you enjoy school. These are not the best thoughts, but more like my own thoughts. So let's begin!


Before I Begin...

I mostly will refer to this topic as doing well in school. However, this can also apply to college/university students as well. So I will mention both sides in this blog post.






Enjoying School


Why do we enroll in school or college/university? It is because are trying to better ourselves while also learning certain things to help us right now and for the future. School is a chance to meet new people. Most of all, it is also an opportunity to see the world and interact. As intriguing as all of this sounds, most people admit they do not like school. Some people even don't enjoy learning. Some others don't feel the motivation to wake up and dress up for school or college. I personally admit I was never a good student back in my days in school and college. Despite that, I still knew there was great importance in doing well in school and college.

Most people would rather sleep all day, stay at home, watch their favorite TV shows, listen to their favorite music, and things like that. We tend to look at school in ways other than having the opportunity to better ourselves or meet new people. One must never pass up the opportunity to improve. No matter what your favorite hobbies are, your favorite hobbies and programs aren't going anywhere. You have to have a sense of priorities when it comes to work and play. While you'd rather relax, it is better you endure the rigors of school to make yourself a better person. School prepares you for life. It helps you to think about having a prosperous future rather than be a failure of society. Some people highly value education and learning.

If going to a proper school isn't good enough, there is the option of home schooling. Either home schooling is a way of getting a quality education while not having to go out into the world, or it is a way to get a great education when trying to blend in with society has failed. It is also possible one could be a special needs student that may not be as fortunate to be part of a general school audience and may therefore be home schooled a lot. Either way, there are options involved trying to learn from home for those who take part in home schooling.


Worst Cases of Not Enjoying School.

There are more serious cases of not enjoying school/college that can be damaging to one's life. Some people who really dislike school often engage in acts detrimental to them being successful in life and having less of a chance of landing a successful career or getting better jobs. Some who dislike school often skip class or even skip school altogether. Some could constantly get into trouble for not dressing according to dress code, constantly talking and interrupting class while in session, engage in fights with other students, and at the worst... even have disputes with teachers and faculty. These are more extreme cases in which school is not about school. Instead, this is a case where enjoying school does not mean anything to where students feel they are going to school simply to get out of the house and not do anything to make themselves better through the means of school. These can frustrate parents and relatives seeing their children do so poorly in school or not be better than they could be in school.

So how can we help others enjoy school? I will offer advice in the next section.




Tips to Enjoy School


How can we help others enjoy school? I can not help you with your situation if you hate school. However, I can offer a few tips to help you enjoy school. So here are some pieces of advice from me...


Enjoying School: Educational Opportunities.

If there is one thing about trying to enjoy school, it is in trying to make learning enjoyable. The traditional style of learning can yield only so much success in trying to learn. That is why we have entertaining methods and alternative ways to try to teach things to others. For example, I would watch "Where in the World is Carmen Sandiego?" in my youth to enhance my geography skills. I also liked "Bill Nye: The Science Guy" in my youth to learn science. When trying to make education enjoyable was tough by simply going to class, there had to be other ways to try to accomplish learning and wanting to learn. This is something you have to want to commit to learning and then apply that want to your schooling.

Maybe the biggest barrier to school or college/university is to simply enjoy learning and wanting to learn. If you are going to be part of the experience, it helps to have methods to try to enhance your learning. Maybe this can be done by trying to find ways to make learning fun. If you are a parent, try to make learning something understandable to your children. Making learning easy and fun can help children to understand things better. For older types, it can be a bit tough since you are on your own to learn things in unique ways. What learning methods may work for children may not work for adolescents. The learning process is still the same and so should the willingness to learn. If you are taking on subjects or topics you are not good with or enjoy, you will have to do what you can to try to make the subject matter interesting. I can recall in Ninth Grade English that I had an advantage when we were learning The Odyssey, because I had some experience with Greek Mythology. I took advantage of this to eventually pass 9th Grade English.

If you are home schooled, your parents will need to help make sure you not only get involved in the learning process, but also in testing what you learn at home. So enjoying school gets to be a bit tougher when you are home schooled. Home schooling does not grant you a lot of the freedoms and experiences normal schooling provides.

While school may not be as fun as it could be, you still need to get yourself to savor the opportunity of making yourself better and more educated by any such means. You have to develop a willingness to learn and understand the positive results of your educational journey. These are the first steps of wanting to enjoy school.


Enjoying School: Meeting People.

One of the other things about school or college/university is in meeting new people. These new people can help you with your school work or even become your best friends. You also get to meet teachers and instructors who care deeply about getting you to be at your best. It is also possible you can enhance your social skills through meeting others at school. Even if you lack social skills, school can help you to be more sociable and look to people better. Besides meeting people whom can be great friends and solid assistance, there is the negative aspect of meeting people who may not like you or care about you. That is the way of life- you will meet people you will love and hate. At least the concept of meeting new people is helpful towards helping you to build up your social skills as well as help you work better with people. Outside of school, you may find certain individuals whom you may even have as best friends or even as a lover.

I must admit I was never really good at working with others. Either my ideas were not as approving as others in groups, or I simply preferred being on my own. Maybe there were times where I had a tough time dealing with people ranging from those who hated me to those who always saw me as a pain in the (you-know-what). You are going to deal with people whom you like and those you will loathe. Regardless, there has to be some sense of community, and you have to develop some sort of willingness to work with people. You may also find you will work very well with certain individuals and grow a special bond to help other people in your classes perform at their best. Imagine yourself helping your peers do better in school!

It will be tough meeting people when you're home schooled. For some, being home schooled is a way of focusing more on learning things while not being able to meet other people. Or maybe home schooling is simply to get into learning while not being able to connect with other people outside of home for help with your schooling.

Take advantage of the opportunity to meet new people while in school/college. Try to make yourself sociable and helpful towards your peers. Do not try to be everyone's best friend. Instead, try to associate yourself with like minds and with those whom interests are more in line with what you want out of learning and more. Try to build chemistry with others to help make learning more fun and even to have as good friends or even lovers (but still concentrate on school!).


Enjoying School: See the World.

Rather than just leaving the house, you have a chance to go to places to help you see the world and get engaged in any number of activities to help enhance your skills. Here in Houston, I used to enjoy going to places like the Houston Museum of Natural Science and Space Center Houston. These helped me to see the world as well as learn new things in new ways. Enjoy field trip moments when you are a student! As a college student, you may even get to take part in studying abroad. You can enjoy being in new places and taking part in new adventures. This will help you to learn better as well as getting more exposure to the world.

Seeing the world can be a lot different if home schooled. Your options of going out to great places and having fun can be limited if mostly home schooled. For example, going to a museum or a music concert may not be as possible to fund if you wanted to gain more exposure to something or enrich your mind. They are still things to consider to help enhance the learning experience.

Any chance you have to enhance your learning through visiting other places, take advantage of these moments. Let yourself become a better learner by taking part in various out-of-school or out-of-college activities and places. See the world while also enhancing your educational experiences!


I want to offer some final thoughts from everything you have read so far. So please take a look at the next section.




Enjoying School: Final Thoughts


School/College and learning is not fun to a lot of people. School feels more like chores rather than something that can be fun and worthwhile. As the saying goes, "it is a tough job, but somebody's got to do it." Your parents will want you to go to school to prepare yourself for life and learn things your parents may not be able to teach you. You have to get yourself to learn things rather than have someone force you to learn something. The school experience should be about a willingness to learn while also being able to meet new people and see the world. Even if you do not enjoy school particularly, at least enjoy the prospect of trying to make yourself better for the future. While in school, you will need to develop these habits to become better in life. So anything you can do to help make school more enjoyable should be taken advantage of to help make yourself better for years to come and to land jobs and have great careers.

Throughout this blog post, you may have noted that I mentioned home schooling. While home schooling takes away a lot of going to school environments and having many of the school experiences, home schooling still isn't devoid of the learning experience. You still can get the proper learning experience even if you are not out and about trying to learn. You still need to do what it takes to properly learn even when not at a proper school or college.

Even though I graduated from High School dead last among my seniors yet still be Most Improved Student, I am in no way any role model or example of success. I failed a lot of subjects and did not particularly feel I am an amazing student. While I did not feel too motivated to be my best, I still managed to get myself an Associates in the Arts in my college days. You do not have to be a good student to enjoy school. All it takes is wanting to learn and then pushing yourself to prepare yourself for life and greater opportunities. You don't have to be perfect or even a good student- all you need is to find ways to enjoy school and learning to be your absolute best in life and beyond.


Other Resources.

If you found my topic to be useful and enjoyable, allow me to point you towards some more resources online. Take a look at other ways to enjoy school/college:

How to Enjoy School: 14 Steps (With Pictures) (wikiHow)
6 Ways to Help Students Enjoy School (Amplify Blog)
Do You Enjoy School? (Debate.org) « this resource offers opinions from others regarding if people enjoy school and why or why not.
4 Ways to Enjoy College (wikiHow)
18 Things You Need to Do to be Happy in College (Huff Post)

If any links are broken, feel free to contact me so I can edit these with more available resources. I may add more resources regardless based on interest to this topic.





I hope you were able to find this topic useful. I would like to wish all of you students who may be going back to school or in school to become better and more loving of school/college. I can only do so much. The rest is up to you. Thank you for reading! Take care and be well.

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