JOHN'S LIFE SPACE DISCLAIMER:

"John's Life Space" features a variety of content to many audiences. The majority of content is meant to suit an audience 13 years of age and older. Some material offered in this blog may not be suitable for all audiences and may include some topics too sensitive or discomforting to discuss. All advice offered in this blog is not meant to replace or substitute practical help. If you require counseling or want more professional help, please consult your healthcare provider, a psychologist, or any other qualified individual.

Wednesday, August 8, 2018

LGBT Acceptance

John B. Marine | August 08, 2018 | | | Be the first to comment!
If acceptance in being any capacity of #LGBT was easy, this would not be an issue. Unfortunately, that is not the case. LGBT has been better accepted in recent years. However, some still are unwilling to accept LGBT types. Some even follow various conceptions that LGBT types are "diseased." You even have the religious-minded who will condemn anyone who is any kind of LGBT.

This blog post is all about trying to offer some help and advice towards LGBT acceptance. Even if you don't like anyone who is any kind of LGBT, acceptance is a real problem that should be addressed accordingly.

NOTE: Some of the topics featured in this blog post may require or feature different individual topics. So stay tuned to this blog for if I post about certain special situations involving this topic.






LGBT Acceptance


The most important aspect of being LGBT is acceptance. Being accepted can be difficult at times. Some cultures and countries even punish people for being LGBT. Sometimes even, getting the death penalty. People may even have certain religious connotations in regards to being LGBT and dealing with LGBT people. No matter what, letting your true self shine can be very difficult.

Properly being LGBT is something that develops. It is not anything that can be flipped on or off like a switch. In other words, you can not just decide to engage in same-sex love or anything like that. You also do not choose to want to wear clothing of one's opposite birth gender and try to live and act as a member of the opposite sex. If you are seriously any capacity of LGBT, you want to live a different kind of lifestyle than what norms modern society put into place. You want to live in a way that while people may not accept it, you feel happiest and most secure for what you believe in.

I mentioned in my "LGBT Issues" blog post about the first transgender I known in person. This first transgender I met (or ultimately would be transgender) was a male with handsome long hair and then became this cool transwoman was warned by her grandmother to drop her M2F (male-to-female) ways; otherwise, she'd kick this transgender out of the house. If it was tough for her to stay in her grandmother's spirits, imagine how tough it would be for others dealing with being accepted as LGBT.

The road to acceptance is never easy for LGBT types. Some people equate being LGBT as doing something wrong- such as killing people, destroying property, selling illegal drugs, and the like. Unless such people actually commit such things, being LGBT is not a crime. It is not even a disease or some kind of outbreak. If being LGBT is a "disease," then where's all the talk about trying to cure it? Do people try to cash in on trying to "cure" LGBT like all those commercials about mesothelioma and asbestos?

If left being disrespected and dishonored for being LGBT, the long-term effects can lead to (but not limited to) lower self-esteem, being more anti-social, being more independent, and at the worst- injury or death to oneself or others. So to be accepted for being LGBT can mean a whole lot trying to live in this society.




The Quest for Acceptance


Being accepted for being LGBT is never easy. However, there are many things to consider when trying to be accepted. Consider the following...


How to Accept LGBT Types.

The first thing to note is sort of cliché to people, but realize that LGBT are people- just like you and I. They are not monsters. They are not "diseased." These are people who breathe the same air, drink the same water, and live about the same way that you do. So to say such LGBT types aren't worth any kind of care or respect is completely wrong.

Some people can't accept LGBT types for any number of reasons. To some, there are religious connotations as to why LGBT persons aren't so accepted. I remember once watching some public access TV show where someone said, "if you're a [gay slur], you're going to die." Some people probably even would feel disgraced associating themselves with anyone who is any capacity of LGBT. What about if you are transgender? Some people would be disgusted to know someone who looks female is a male, or they may even be disgusted of someone who appears male is actually a female.

Accepting anyone LGBT can be a lengthy process. Even if you were to "come out," people will not readily be able to accept you for your LGBT lifestyle. You may get accepted; you may never get accepted. At least be sure to find some sort of goodness in someone and try to respect people for their personality, as opposed to their sexual preference.


LGBT Acceptance: Among Peers.

It can be tough being openly gay around most mainstream people. Trying to be accepted and loved among peers can involve you sometimes being the butt of someone's jokes. You may get treated poorly or even get bullied just for being any kind of LGBT. In this case, you may want to (especially if in school or college) seek help from campus faculty or even police. I personally have known some individuals who were gay or lesbian. However, I don't think I came to the point of being entrenched in someone's thoughts in being LGBT. So I can't really speak from experience on trying to accept someone for being any kind of LGBT.


LGBT Acceptance: Among Family.

This is something that requires it be spoken in two parts- for children and for parents.

LGBT Children: Imagine you are the parent of someone who has LGBT feelings. You may have a child who prefers having a gay or lesbian experience. You may have a child who prefers being bisexual. Your child may even want to life live as a transgender. Especially with youth having LGBT interests and habits, these can harm the rest of their lives. So you, as a parent, need to make sure to communicate with a child on a certain level so you can learn to accept someone who adopts such a lifestyle.

LGBT Parent: I have known some males online who are proud parents and are also transvestites. If being LGBT involves having certain parents who have LGBT thoughts and such, they have to be respected just as much as children. You can be both any capacity of LGBT and still be a quality parent. Do not let the fact of proudly being LGBT deter or alter your responsibilities as a loving parent or any other family member.


One last talking point...


Should You Accept Someone Who is LGBT?

It can be tough to be accepted for your LGBT interests. If you can look at the person rather than see someone who is some capacity of LGBT, you can greater appreciate the person. All one person asks is to be accepted and loved. This is what we all want from people we care about or want to get into the good graces of. Unfortunately, some people won't even give LGBT types the time of day and the platform of respect from others. This leads to being unloved and disrespected. Being any kind of LGBT is not a disability or deterrent for us being great minds and greater people. People, though, make it so that being LGBT is about the same as living with a chronic illness or being a target for bullying.

I have encountered several persons in the LGBT community including various gay and lesbian types as well as a handful of transgenders. I always have been respectful of them and never once found being LGBT as a joke or something to feast upon. I learned over time to better respect such individuals. If I can be respectful towards LGBT persons, so can anyone else. All that is needed is some medium of respect for such LGBT persons.



LGBT Acceptance: Final Thoughts


If we can respect the person rather than the person being LGBT, if we can respect and honor the personality of someone rather than jump on someone for being LGBT, then it can go a long way towards better respecting LGBT types. So try seeing the good in someone rather than hate such people for being LGBT. LGBT persons are people just like you and I. Let's try respecting such individuals instead of bullying them and chastising them for their LGBT lifestyle. It won't be easy accepting such people or trying to accept such individuals, but at least trying is better than disgracing the world they walk on and breathing the air they breathe.


LGBT Resources.

Various resources available here...

• Here is an article providing a snapshot of LGBT acceptance: GLAAD Accelerating Acceptance.

• Here is a 2018 look at LGBT acceptance from GLAAD: Accelerating Acceptance 2018 - GLAAD.


If you want some help regarding LGBT matters, please visit my "Helpful Resources" page. And if there are any resources you want to suggest me adding to help others in this situation, please contact me.





Please remember that there may (and will) be related topics to this matter. Make sure to follow this blog (and my others) for more discussion of this topic. I hope you got to enjoy this blog post. I also hope I could have provided some calming and encouraging insight into this topic. Thank you for reading! Take care and be well.

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Monday, July 16, 2018

Drinking and Smoking

John B. Marine | July 16, 2018 | | | Be the first to comment!
Drinking and smoking are often hazardous to your health. Both are capable of damaging your body and how you function. They are also sometimes ways to escape mental pain. Drinking and smoking should be in moderation. Despite this, both of these questionable habits can do any amount of damage to you and your body. This blog post discusses drinking and smoking.

This blog post discusses drinking and smoking.






Drinking and Smoking


drinking and smoking
^ from: www.ahchealthenews.com - Huge risks are involved when you drink and/or smoke.

Personally, I do not drink or smoke. I never found the appeal or love for drinking alcohol or smoking tobacco. At most, I would probably drink wine or champagne. Maybe I don't see the cool factor in drinking or smoking.

Drinking and smoking is often glorified a lot in media. You will normally see people drinking wine or champagne at parties. You might see people smoking in television shows and other forms of mass media. You may even occasionally see people on social media sharing pictures of them drinking and/or smoking. Recording artists may even make reference to drinking alcholic beverages or smoking certain things. No matter what, such entities try to be a catalyst for sparking people to get into drinking and/or smoking. Consuming such products can lead to any number of damaging effects to you, your body, and others around you. You may even look into magazines and find ads for alcohol and tobacco. Some magazines even have free samples of tobacco products.

It can be hard to get away from the temptation to drink or smoke considering what all is out there and how it is portrayed.


Drinking.

Drinking alcoholic beverages can be a way to have fun with others or even get low moments off of one's mind. Some who enjoy drinking may often times share pictures on social media on getting drunk or simply showcasing certain drinks. There could be those who will show off margaritas or maybe take pictures of themselves drinking wine or champagne. Some may even photograph themselves drinking from a beer can. Also, some people may take shots, such as tequila shots. These are when people take a small amount of an alcoholic beverage and try to swallow it all in a short period of time. Drinking alcoholic beverages has its appeal to many people.

Some people drink recreationally. Some others drink to get their minds off of certain low moments in their lives. Just about anyone who drinks or have had alcoholic drinks before certainly know of the appeal drinking offers. Despite this, however, alcohol can be plenty damaging. It can impair your chain of thought and may even make you do things you wouldn't do if you were sober. You could even be so drunk that you may find yourself vomiting.

Being drunk also leads to impaired judgment and committing crimes. There are moments when drunk drivers injure and even kill individuals. Speaking of drunk driving, it is important that alcoholic beverage makers stress having a designated driver in case an individual "had one too much." If you are too drunk to focus properly, you shouldn't be operating a vehicle to where you put the lives of yourself and/or others at risk. Either have someone else take command of a vehicle or sober up.


Smoking.

In more current times, there has been a rise in e-Cigarettes and vaping. A few times watching live streams, I have seen individuals vape. Reports indicate that vaping can be just as damaging (if not more so) than regular smoking. Smoking can damage your lungs, your throat, your heart, all among other things. Various forms of media try to make smoking glamourous. Even some children cartoons have made smoking "cool." I remember even watching cartoons like "Tom and Jerry," "Popeye," and stuff all with smoking involved. Filling the air with cigarette smoke and your body with tobacco is enough to do any amount of damage to at least someone or something.

Just as harmful as smoking is secondhand smoke. Secondhand smoke is about you sharing tobacco with others. This can be damaging to people around who are exposed to cigarette smoke. It is said that children and teenagers can be at greater risk of health problems if they inhale cigarette smoke. So basically, you could be harming other people with smoke if you aren't harming yourself!

Businesses even have guidelines as to making people go outside if they feel the urge to smoke. Places such as restaurants have certain outdoor sections to where you can freely smoke as opposed to smoking inside of buildings that may threaten children or certain sensitive individuals. Or some places may even have smoking regulations so that you do not (for example) accidentally trigger a fire alarm in a building.

No matter what you may think about smoking, there are more negatives than positives with smoking. So get help if you can or try to limit your smoking habits. More information and resources on this can be seen later in this blog post or in my "Helpful Resources" page.


Drinking and Smoking With Youth.

I am not sure about other nations, but you must be 21 years old or older to legally drink or smoke in the United States. Some youth are sly enough to try to get alcoholic drinks and even smoke. The impacts of underage drinking and/or underage smoking for youth can be damaging even as they get older. Drinking and smoking for youth is just as troublesome as doing drugs. Parents will need to be mindful of any suspicious activity in which their child/children may have consumed alcoholic beverages or done any smoking.

Various commercials have been on television regarding smoking and its impacts on your health. Among others are campaigns from Truth, therealcost.com, and other mostly youth-oriented campaigns.


Help for Drinking and Smoking.

You can attend Alcholics Anonymous (or "AA") to get treatment for alcohol abuse. You can try any number of products to resist your smoking urges, such as nicotine gum and various other products to curb your smoking habits.




Drinking and Smoking: Final Thoughts


Even though drinking and smoking can have their positives for those dealing with emotional issues, drinking and smoking, for the most part, are damaging. Some people do find themselves in some trouble in their lives and turn to drinking and smoking to help deal with those problems. While drinking and smoking may help, you may reach a point where you need to lay off the drinking and/or smoking to where you don't threaten your own health and well-being.

I am not entirely condemning drinking and smoking. All I am saying is that you should be careful. If you find yourself needing counseling to curb your drinking or smoking habits, there are a lot of resources available to you. Do not feel you are perfectly fine or think you are too good to get help for your drinking and/or smoking. It isn't as glamourous as people make either out to be. You must resist the temptation to get indulged into drinking and smoking. You especially must seek help if you are among the youth who get involved into drinking and smoking. If you are a parent or some supervisor of a child who has been drinking or smoking, you especially must be proactive and alert in trying to get that child the proper help needed to treat a child's ways with drinking and/or smoking.


Resources.

For various resources on curbing drinking and smoking habits, here are few resources for you:
Alcoholics Anonymous
QuitAlcohol.com
Underage Drinking|National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism
Smokefree.gov
Truth
The Real Cost

To see resources for many more issues (including drinking and smoking), please visit my Page Helpful Resources.




This is the end of this post. I hope all of you take care of yourselves no matter what you do in life. I am just doing what I can to provide some helpful material. If you appreciate my efforts, do what you can to support me and my work. One thing you can do is subscribe to my blog(s). More ways are below this section. By the way...

How do you feel about drinking and smoking? What would you recommend to those dealing with alcohol and tobacco abuse or addiction?

Thank you for reading! Take care and be well.

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Wednesday, July 4, 2018

LGBT Issues

John B. Marine | July 04, 2018 | | Be the first to comment!
#LGBT matters are part of "John's Life Space" being a positive space. Part of making this blog a positive space is considering all parties. You can think whatever you want about LGBT types. To me, I do what I can to make everyone feel happy and respected- even including those who are lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, intersex, genderqueer, panssexual, asexual, and the like. If you have a problem (or problems) with LGBT people, that is perfectly fine. However, they are as much of people as you and I. So to continue to provide positive material to many audiences, I will offer some general LGBT thoughts in this blog post.

NOTE 1: This blog post may contain material that may not be suitable for all audiences. You are reading this material at your own risk.

NOTE 2: I am not an expert in LGBT matters. I am sure I will say things that are not true. Please go easy on me if I screw anything up. Unlike most other places online, I want this to be positive and educational in regards to this topic. So please help me if I screw something up.


About the Label: "LGBT Issues"

These are topics of particular interest towards LGBT types. These include topics related to lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, intersex, and others. Readers and visitors to these topics do not need to be any capacity of LGBT to understand or care about these topics. However, these can be educational to help better understand this community.






LGBT Issues in General


I will spend some time now to generally discuss LGBT matters.

LGBT flag issues
^ from: www.aarp.org (best I could find) - This blog post will introduce LGBT matters to "John's Life Space" including my credentials on LGBT issues.


LGBT Issues: Genreal Overview.

LGBT has been seen as a novelty or as something comical. However, people do have and express their LGBT pride. The community has been more accepting of LGBT matters of late compared to times in the past. Being any capacity of LGBT can be a problem in most cultures and countries. You can be generally accepted by a general audience in the United States; but in some countries, you can face such penalties for being any capacity of LGBT- including the death penalty.

Most of my own thoughts regarding certain LGBT issues are based on my own opinions on how I see certain issues. I actually research some of my topics either before or during making material online. This even means getting into not-very-wholesome topics- such as LGBT intimacy. I want to gain a general understanding before I end up posting something online. This will limit the amount of backlash or destructive criticism I may face.


LGBT Issues: My Credentials.

I always known it to be GLBT before being labeled as LGBT. When it comes to LGBT matters, I feel I am the most educated in transgender matters. I had friends of mine date and even marry same-sex partners. I first began being curious about transgender types circa 2002. At the time, I was vastly uneducated about the community. There was someone who I chatted with on America Online (AOL these days, yet I still call AOL as America Online). This person was delightfully lovely despite being a male-to-female (M2F) transgender. Understandably, some people were disgusted that this person was (in their mind) a male in a dress.

There was one time at my community college when I went into the men's bathroom and encountered a male with feminine long hair. I thought he was rather handsome. We became friends after we chatted at times in school. This person would later become the first transgender person I ever known in person. We did see each other on campus a number of times, but I never known what happened to him since. He had a boyfriend all the while, and he has had some drug issues. So I didn't know what happened since.

Besides transgender issues, the only other kind of relation to LGBT matters is that I was once bi-curious. I have never entertained the thought of being with another man, but I had some thoughts. I may possibly explain issues like this further for when I start discussing certain LGBT issues further.


LGBT Issues on "John's Life Space."

When I introduce LGBT issues into "John's Life Space," these are all issues regarding and pertaining to the LGBT community. I can not guarantee my advice and commentary will be to everyone's liking, nor can I say topics in this category will all be wholesome. I may discuss everything LGBT-related ranging from simply being any capacity of LGBT or even gender dysphoria... to more sensitive issues- such as LGBT love and intimacy. LGBT issues will usually involve adults and adolescents, but there MAY be some LGBT issues regarding children. So chances are each topic may not be suitable to everyone in the LGBT category.




LGBT Issues: What to Expect?


This post may all seem basic, but when I discuss LGBT issue further, get ready for some commentary that will greatly suit the LGBT community and those who may be adversely affected. I absolutely will NOT discuss certain topics just to get all kinds of traffic (usually shady or of spam nature). I will meet such topics on an understandable and professional level. I am not here to spew hate or use sarcasm to any community.

Most of all, I want to feel as if I am helping others, especially in offering advice. I don't want people who need help coming in here feeling like I've disgraced them. I just want to hope I can make you feel better if you have related issues. Remember- you are NOT a failure because you seek advice from places like "John's Life Space." You can also request certain topic ideas if you have any.





I honor and respect all communities- including the aforementioned LGBT community. I hope you enjoyed your time here. Thank you for reading! Take care and be well.

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Wednesday, June 27, 2018

Online Psychiatry

John B. Marine | June 27, 2018 | | | Be the first to comment!
(UPDATED: June 10, 2020)

Mental health issues impact us all. A psychiatrist can help alleviate many of these troubles, especially troubles that impact our minds for the longest. So seeing a psychiatrist can be helpful in helping us deal with a number of different mental health-related issues. But what if you can not make the time to schedule seeing a psychiatrist when dealing with a busy work schedule? You can seek help from a psychiatrist online! At least you will be able to get the help you need in case you are unable to step into a local office to meet with a psychiatrist. This blog post will discuss a number of different matters in regards to psychiatry and seeking a psychiatrist.

NOTE: This blog post was created in a collaboration with BetterHelp.


About the Label: "Mental Health"

Issues pertaining to mental health are featured under this label.


About the Label: "Collaborations"

Blog posts done in partnership with other sources will be featured under the "Collaborations" label. Opinions and material are all personal input regardless of whom I am collaborating with with such posts.


LATEST UPDATES/REVISIONS

JUN 10 2010 - removed some links






Online Psychiatry


Let me talk through some of the finer points of seeking psychiatrists online. Consider the following...


Seeking Online Psychiatrists.

You know you need help. You often scour cyberspace for the hottest Internet memes or various viral videos. You try to seek hashtags to all kinds of material you post online. Why not put some time and effort into finding a psychiatrist online for issues that impact you mentally?

If anything is wonderful about this day and age, you do not need to go to a physical location to get whatever it is you desire. As an example, I personally am someone who is too fond of trying to find various material exclusively online, speaking as someone who still prefers having brick and mortar stores when online stores can offer more items. There are people who attend online programs at colleges and universities. You may not have the finances and such to live on campus or near campus at certain universities or colleges, but you can still get the same quality resources and education from these colleges and universities without ever having set foot into a classroom. Let us get back to more important and more relevant matters. The convenience of finding a psychiatrist online can be immensely convenient. It means you can able to get help from a psychiatrist without needing to step into one's physical office in much the same way you can get anything that can be procured without stepping into a physical location. When faced with mental health issues, no feeling is more assuring than knowing one thing can be taken off of your mind without needing to suffer any further issues in addition to your current mental health issues.

Even if you were physically capable and able to go to a psychiatrist's office, and even if you are okay with being in some psychiatrist's physical office; you can still get help from being on your computer or even your mobile device. Rates and prices will still be plenty capable for your time working with such individuals. The confidentiality of being with an online psychiatrist can be beneficial for those who can not make time to go to a proper physical psychiatrist's office. You still can gain the needed help from a trusted and genuine psychiatrist when you choose to work with an online psychiatrist.

The only possible concern with online psychiatrist help could lie in your own personal information and such being confidential. Despite possible cyber safety concerns, you are still mostly getting the help you can really use for whatever mental health issues impact you.


Is Online Psychiatry For You?

If you can not arrange time to visit a psychiatrist in person, or if you are uncomfortable being in an office with other patients, seeing an online psychiatrist may be for you. You still will need to properly be able to finance your sessions with a psychiatrist.


Where to Seek Online Psychiatrists?

You can easily pop into your preferred search engine of choice and search "psychiatrists online" to seek for psychiatrists in your area. You may even search services like BetterHelp to help link you to psychiatrists. Whatever the case, you are never too far away from getting the help you need... even if miles away geographically.


Final thoughts time. Get ready.




Online Psychiatry: Final Thoughts


Online psychiatric help can be just as beneficial and effective as going to the physical office of a psychiatrist. If you need help with your mental health and you know it, you are best served getting the help you need by seeking psychiatrists- even online. Get the help you need on your own time with quality psychiatric help with online psychiatry.





I hope I have done all I can to help someone who may need the help. You are certainly welcome if I have helped you with this post. Thank you for reading! Take care and be well.

Visit my official website at johnbmarine.com, subscribe to My Blog(s), and/or Follow on Bloglovin!
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Tuesday, June 26, 2018

Marriage Counseling

John B. Marine | June 26, 2018 | | | | Be the first to comment!
(UPDATED: June 10, 2020)

Love between two strangers is a beautiful thing that can lead to marriage. Married types will enjoy the best and worst of times together. When marriage reaches times of crisis, marriage counseling may help the longevity of a marriage. So marriage counseling can help make sure marriages last for as long as they can. In any attempt to help keep marriages going strong and staying strong, marriage counseling can go a long way to helping make sure married couples stay together long enough. When should you consider marriage counseling? What are the benefits of seeking marriage counseling? Is there anything wrong seeking outside assistance for helping save or salvage a marriage? I will attempt to answer these questions and more in this blog post.

NOTE 1: This post was made in a partnership with BetterHelp, a service allowing people in crisis to connect with therapists and other qualified healthcare professionals for an affordable price.

NOTE 2: I am NOT married, nor have I ever been in any true relationship. So what I will be discussing is all opinion-based.


LATEST UPDATES/REVISIONS:

JUN 10 2020 - removed some links






Marriage Counseling in General


Marriage counseling entails trying to keep together a married couple whose may be in crisis. Or a couple not yet married may seek pre-marital counseling to resolve any matters before marriage. No matter what the case, married couples can use some counseling to be together and stay together "'till death do us part."

Here are individual talking points on marriage counseling...


Why Seek Marriage Counseling?

Like any investment, maintenance may be needed to extend the life of investments. Love (let alone marriage) is an investment in its own right. A couple purely in love with each other want to grow old together and enjoy every exciting moment life has to offer. If a couple can not seem to get along and do not make an effort to diagnose and treat any relationship issues, the only possible saving grace could be to meet with a marriage counselor. What a marriage counselor can do is offer some sort of therapy to help lessen the damage of a damaged marriage. A marriage counselor can help provide some sort of direction to help a couple in crisis move closer towards restoring love among the two.

While it may seem shaky to discuss your personal matters with a totally different person, it is at least an opportunity to let go of something holding you back. A marriage counselor has probably dealt with people who have had similar or worse marital issues than what you are facing. So fear not once you step into the office of a marriage counselor. His/Her job is to try to work with you and your spouse to help save a troubled marriage. If you still want to be with your spouse and do not want to consider divorce, you should really try to get marriage counseling to help give yourself a chance. A couple can only benefit from meeting with a marriage counselor to save a marriage rather than keep transgressions bottled up.


When to Seek Marriage Counseling.

Any number of issues can lead towards wanting marriage counseling. A couple in crisis after a number of months or years may seek marriage counseling. A couple who may not be officially married may have some issues trying to stay together or with other matters. There are times when we need to have someone professional to help save marriage, especially those who want to stay together and not seek divorce. No matter what situation(s) arise, wanting marriage counseling can go a long way to save a marriage. A couple is best to try to seek marriage counseling immediately before it is too late or before a troubled marriage reaches a point of being beyond repair.

Even if you are not married (but about to be married), you may want to seek marriage counseling should you be facing issues prior to being officially married. This is known as premarital counseling. Premarital counseling may be needed if your relationship is facing issues before becoming legally married. The help provided by a marriage counselor can help a soon-to-be married couple keep that loving relationship without the couple have to call off the wedding.


Something to Remember...

You are not a failure, and your relationship is not a failure just because you have to seek help from professionals to try to save or maintain your marriage. It may cost money and time to invest in talking with a marriage counselor, but at least it is better than any kind of do-it-yourself efforts to salvage a marriage. At least you are better served getting professional help than dealing with possible enablers or (at worst) having things resort to foul matters such as domestic violence or marital rape. So try to connect with a marriage counselor if your marriage is on the rocks (and I am not talking about margaritas!).


Up next is a look at certain situations as part of the marriage counseling process.




Marriage Counseling: Special Situations


Marriage counseling may be beneficial, but there are certain considerations and situations which marriage counseling can vastly impact. This section will discuss some of these certain circumstances in getting the help you need so your married relationship can last for as long as it can.


Marriage Counseling... When Children are Involved.

If a married couple has children or may expect children, this is a most crucial situation in regards to marriage counseling, because this aspect can impact both the parents and the children for life. If divorce happens, it can greatly impact the bond between parents and their children. This may lead to possible battles for custody. In the case of a couple expecting children, marital matters discussed with a marriage counselor can be just as damaging and detrimental towards making sure the children are taken care of in addition to the parents.

Marriage counseling can be especially critical when children are involved. So just like a couple that may not have children, marriage counseling is double important in this situation.


Marriage Counseling: Time to Divorce.

So what happens when a marriage has reached a level to where it is beyond repair? It may be time to divorce. A couple may want to be together for as long as their lives will allow. Sometimes, however, the best move may be to just move on. A marriage counselor can only do so much to try to fix what can be fixed. If there is no hope for a positive solution for a married couple, the best thing may be to divorce.


Now for some final thoughts on marriage counseling.




Marriage Counseling: Final Thoughts


As worthwhile an investment love is (let alone marriage), you deserve to be able to get help for when married life is not going too well. Part of that investment in marriage is in finding help for when you and your significant other can not seem to get along happily. You can do no wrong to have help from a marriage counselor. You invested the time and energy to fall in love with the one you eventually married; why not look after your investment in love like you do your house, your car, or almost any precious possession of yours? So make sure to connect with a marriage counselor to help keep this love investment going long and strong. You could try to save a marriage DIY (do it yourself) style, but not everyone can succeed trying to save their own marriage without the help of a marriage counselor. Do not take chances- connect with a marriage counselor for the best chance of saving a troubled marriage.

As I mentioned, I have never been in any proper relationship and am not married. Everything you have read was all based on personal opinions and thoughts.





If you wish to start a discussion on this topic, here is a discussion question for you:

Would you seek marriage counseling to save your marriage? Would you rather seek marriage counseling or try to fix a troubled marriage yourself (and why)?

Subscribe and Follow my blog(s) if my work interests you and if you enjoy my work. If you have any ideas for future topics to this blog or any of my others, please feel free to contact me. Your suggestions may end up producing future blog posts from me. And here on "John's Life Space," be sure to look at my Helpful Resources for assistance with a multitude of life issues and love issues. Thank you for reading! Take care and be well.

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Saturday, June 16, 2018

Bullying

John B. Marine | June 16, 2018 | | Be the first to comment!
(UPDATED: November 9, 2022) Bullying has been a huge topic. Bullies make themselves feel stronger by preying on those who they feel are inferior to them. Victims of bullying tend to have self-esteem lowered and also feel powerless. Such heckling can be damaging to others. We often feel the need to make ourselves better by picking certain individuals whom we see as threats or those who stand in our way of being great. If there is someone we don't like for whatever reason(s), bullies often feel the need to pressure someone to help feel better.



PERSONAL MESSAGE: I would like to devote this blog post to all victims of cyberbullying- from past and present victims.



A Special Note:

This blog post was made all on my own, though I did make mentions to bullying before in my main blog, "John's Blog Space." This is not any re-make of my previous blog posts about bullying.



Latest Update(s)/Revision(s)

NOV 9 202 - added extra resource






Bullying


So let's discuss bullying!



Cyberbullying.

Bullying is not just limited to in person; it can also extend towards the online realm and social media. This online bullying, cyberbullying, can be just as damaging as bullying someone in person. The scary thing about cyberbullying is that others can employ more aggressive tactics to bully others. This can go to the levels of posting Internet memes, making social media material specifically to attack others, and things of that nature. Cyberspace offers a layer of protection for bullies because they don't allow themselves to be almost essentially anonymous when making such bullying attacks to others.



The Effects of Bullying or Being Bullied.

In any case, bullying is a means of trying to become better at the expense of others. These are usually cases where someone did absolutely nothing to harm such bullies, yet such people bully others "because they can." Some who get bullied can have conditions ranging from simply being heckled to even severe cases of injury and/or death.



What You Can Do to Fight Back.

If you or someone you know is getting bullied, you need to get help before things get worse.

• Talk with your parents if bullied. You may also notify your teachers, campus police, or any other authority figure in your school or college.

• For possibly extreme bullying, you may contact police.

• You may elect to call certain bullying hotlines or programs designed to curb bullying.



What if YOU Are the Bully?

A thing we don't really recognize is there are those seeking help from bad people. However, what about bullies who may be reading this? I'll say this now- you need help yourself. Heckling others into disbelief and low self-esteem is NOT the way to make yourself a better person. Essentially, you fear someone you heckle on will somehow turn the tables on you and make YOU feel inferior. Even if someone eventually does nothing in response to your tactics, you are setting a bad example for society as well as your peers. You need to learn that putting other people down does NOT make you stronger. It instead shows weakness because you choose to be self-centered and uncaring. The world does not revolve around you, and you are not the highest deity whom everyone should worship.

However, you have a chance to make yourself better! Have a professional you can chat with so you can express your problems as to why you feel the need to bully others. If you feel insecure, you can always learn how to make yourself a better person so that you don't need to prey on somebody lesser than you (in your opinion) to feel stronger. Remember- you chose to be a bully and be uncaring. You can receive help to make yourself a better person and make better decisions among your peers.




Bullying Resources


I have prepared a number of resources to help you in case you are dealing with bullying. Visit my "Helpful Resources" page here on "John's Life Space," or you may take a look at these links I have provided for online support of bullying:

www.stompoutbullying.org
Stand Up to Bullying
Cyberbullying Research Center
Stop Cyberbullying
Cyberbullying - National Crime Prevention Council
Cyberbullying | StopBullying.gov
Cyberbullying - NetSmartz
BrainPOP | Cyberbullying
A Comprehensive Cyberbullying Guide for Parents
E-safety Guide for Parents to Kids Keep Safe Online (added: January 16, 2019)
-
The Ultimate Parent Guide for Protecting Your Child on the Internet | vpnMentor
Welcome to CyberTraining (Europe)
Cyberbullying - Cyber Safety Pasifika (Oceania and the South Pacific)

A Real Online Degree: Cyberbullying Awareness and Avoidance Resource Guide

• (added: August 22, 2019) Bullying by the Numbers: A Breakdown of Bullying Statistics and Facts

• (added: November 9, 2022) High School Bullying Guide




I hope all of you will be able to take advantage of all available resources to you to help you against a stressing situation such as bullying. For more resources on this and other topics, please visit: Helpful Resources (John's Life Space).





If you enjoy my work, please Subscribe/Follow my blog(s) in any capacity if you love my work and want to support me any way you can. Share my blog post(s) with others if you enjoy my work. Thank you for reading! Take care and be well.

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Struggles

John B. Marine | June 16, 2018 | | | | | Be the first to comment!
Struggling involves experiences of low points in hopes of better and more productive times. Not all struggles are harsh. These are moments to focus and stay committed to reach positive outcomes. However, if a struggle becomes too harsh, it leads to frustration and a lack of confidence. No one wants to be in that position. You want to have focus and concentration but usually not at the expense of going crazy trying to accomplish a task.

EVERYONE struggles. It is a fact of life. People can struggle with trying to understand subjects in school or college. Financially-struggling families often struggle trying to make ends meet. Some people struggle at their job and hope to be better at their craft. Struggling is a part of life. What becomes a problem, though, are unnecessary struggles. Some people struggle with things they normally should not have to struggle with. These are times when we can try offer a helping hand. These times even include worrying about things outside of our control. Tough as it may be, you can only handle what is immediately in front of you.

A healthy way to deal with struggles is to remind yourself that getting what you want involves going through struggles. You are going to have to experience tough times to reach positive or favorable outcomes. Be ready to struggle especially if what you want will take time and effort to obtain. So while struggles can be daunting, it is sometimes worth it if you want the best life has to offer. Struggles themselves are moments to think about what is out in the world that you can obtain and realize what it takes to get those things. They make you realize the importance of wanting or having certain things and justify the desire to get something.

If you let struggles bear your down, you will end up being more frustrated and unable to successfully get something. So don't let struggles overwhelm you. Instead, try to be more focused and deal with only what you can deal with. Struggles should make us stronger and be more focused. Maybe you should consider these things as you go through life and trying to get what you want in life and out of life.





I hope you will be able to deal with struggles in a healthy way. That said, I'd like to thank you for reading! Take care and be well.

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Tuesday, June 12, 2018

Why Me?

John B. Marine | June 12, 2018 | | | Be the first to comment!
When life gets tough, you wonder, "Why Me?" The main thing to cross our minds is the fact all negative things happen to us and not to anybody else. Most of us know not everything bad happens to just us. However, when life is going sour for you, you see yourself floundering while everybody else is doing much better than you. How you handle these moments can go a long way towards feeling better again or feeling frustrated.

There are a few things to realize. Let me say something in a respectful context- the world does not revolve around you. You are not the root of all evil or the bane of society. If you are seriously a bad person or someone that causes disasters everywhere, how come anybody has stopped you yet? For one thing, if you are not doing well at present, there is at least one other person who may be in a more troublesome situation than you. You may think you are doing bad because you are getting ridiculed and that everything bad seems to happen to just you. Meanwhile, someone may be in a much worse situation that leads to harm (and even death) to oneself or others. So your situation is potentially nowhere near where most other people have stumbled. If you feel you are a terrible person, you can always learn to change to where you are better liked.

Some people are firm believers in the notion that bad things happen for a reason. These are moments that can be translated into finding strength and courage in even the darkest of times. Seek these opportunities to make yourself a better person. When it seems like you are always on the receiving end of hardships, always remember that someone may have it worse. Thinking that you are the one always getting into trouble makes you realize other people may be going through the same pain, if not worse pain. The natural response is to meet your own demons head-on while not worrying about other people. If you do meet someone who may be facing similar troubles, let this be a time to work together and band together to live happier and better for the future.

There may be a point where you may have the same issue(s) as someone else. Having the same issues as someone else could help you towards maybe solving the same (or similar) issue together. It is usually great to know that someone else is in similar pain and that you could maybe work together. At the same time, you begin to realize others may be in the same peril and may be reluctant to work together to resolve an issue. This can help you to build better relationships with others as well as having support from others to take on different issues.

No matter what you go through in life, just remember that not just you are having certain issues. Not everything is your fault, and you alone don't have to suffer. Unless you totally feel worthless or useless, just remember that other people may suffer from the same issues, and sometimes even worse conditions than what you are experiencing.





I am John Marine, and I am here to help. Perhaps this post was able to help you out to an extent. Let's start a discussion if you are inclined:

How do you deal with times when you feel everything bad is only happening to you?

Remember to Subscribe and Follow my work in any capacity if you enjoy it. Thank you for reading! Take care and be well.

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Tuesday, April 17, 2018

Addition by Subtraction

John B. Marine | April 17, 2018 | | | | | Be the first to comment!
Add to your life by subtracting things from your life. When you feel like you have everything, some things you have to let go. This is either from you letting something go or something gone from you. Either way, we sometimes have to take things out of our lives and move on. Most people don't want to let go of things they love or love doing. Like I wouldn't give up trying to share a lot of my creative works online. There are some times, though, where we have to cut something from our lives to feel better. These things we are subtracting may be things we are not fully comfortable with or feel like there is no real purpose in trying to keep supporting something. In these moments, it is best to add to our lives by subtracting.

Here is a quote I found that will set the mood of this blog post:

"Perfection is achieved, not when there is nothing more to add, but when there is nothing left to take away."

-Antoine de Saint-Exupéry


When to Subtract People or Things From Your Life.

What constitutes the desire to subtract from you and your life? Usually, you can be generally unhappy with something or reach a point to where you feel you don't matter to other people, or maybe something within you is slowly defeating you. In those moments, you need to subtract something from your life before things get worse. You might feel you are among great people, only to evenutally be in a situation that leads to you feeling unimportant or unwelcome no matter how sincere you try to be. This is a time for you to subtract yourself from a certain community. Even someone like myself tries to find the good in people. Unfortunately, I know I can only look to others only so much to where I ultimately feel I am not good enough or fit enough to be among certain communities. Even rough-around-the-edges people can be even remotely trusted and liked. Sometimes, though, it is never enough. You may even have certain habits that are really taking you down instead of building you up. Regardless, you have to learn when to let things go or move on from what you once loved.


The Tough (or Not?) Decision to Subtract from Your Life.

Giving things up is never easy. However, if you think it will help you in the long run with certain situations you face, it is for the better. Many of us have had friends who feel we have never done anything to harm them. Maybe you act in ways most people pertain as being damaging. Perhaps you have a lover (fiancé/fianceé/spouse) who you just can't love and care for. Whatever the case, if you feel the need to move on because things aren't going right for you, you will need to subtract such things and people from your life to add to your own happiness and well-being. Nothing is more hurtful than feeling like you lost the trust of people whom you loved. A lack of trust can bring anyone down. Getting rid of things you find joy in can hurt you if you feel you need to subtract that from your life. No matter what decisions you make, wanting to remove something from your life to make it better can involve making some sacrifices.

These are things that make us question what all we have and what we can give up. In the case of subtracting people and communities from your life, remember that you did not feel like you NEED certain people in your life or NEED to be in certain communities. Removing yourself from other people can go quite a way to you feeling more at peace and happier.


Are You Ready to Add to Your Life by Subtracting?

So if you feel the need to remove things from your life to improve it, think long and hard about what you need to get rid of to help make life better. It is proof that you can not always have everything. Some things you have to let go. Or if in the case of someone wanting to do away with you, addition by subtraction is done for you. It is probably better if some people stay to their own world rather than you try to fit into theirs. Addition by subtraction means many things to many people. How you handle these matters can go a long way towards preserving your own personal happiness.


Aftermath of Subtracting People and/or Things in Your Life.

If you do decide to subtract people and things in your life, you made the choice to be done with things. Whether you initiate the subtraction or if someone subtracts you from his/her life, you're done with them. You have a chance to move on and find new things to enjoy. You still may be reminiscent of happier times. That won't go away. However, feeling like you are not good enough to meet certain demands just means you have to move on. Why try to stay in a community where you feel toxic and unproductive?

For example, I try to be involved in certain communities, but I ultimately do not feel like I am any decent (let alone perfect) fit. So I feel I have to move on by getting rid of my involvement. It is a decision I hate to make, but if it makes me better and that I won't entirely regret, then subtractions of mine are justified. I am always someone who tries to see the good in people. I still find genuine respect in others even if I don't feel totally loved or belong. People have surely moved on from me. And a lot of times, I feel I have to move on when I feel Like I have done all I can to offer my love and respect. It is either never enough, or I am seen in a light opposite of how I see myself. Regardless, it is probably best just to move on. What is the point of trying to fix what is almost impossible to repair? You have to move on sometimes and subtract people and things from your life to add to it.





Addition by subtraction- just another of many different life issues I bring into the fold here on "John's Life Space." I don't make the best choices or do the right things all the time, but I do try to bring real issues to the forefront and offer my own advice. I hope you can appreciate my work.

How have you dealt with adding by subtracting in life?

I always try to bring up some depressing situations to try to offer some peace and some hope. It is the least I can do for this blog. All I want to do with "John's Life Space" is provide some guidance for those who may need it or wouldn't mind it. You do not have to like me. However, I hope you can at least respect me trying to provide material people can relate to. All I am trying to do is make sense of a senseless world, because life happens. So with all of this said, thank you for reading! Take care and be well.

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