JOHN'S LIFE SPACE DISCLAIMER:

"John's Life Space" features a variety of content to many audiences. The majority of content is meant to suit an audience 13 years of age and older. Some material offered in this blog may not be suitable for all audiences and may include some topics too sensitive or discomforting to discuss. All advice offered in this blog is not meant to replace or substitute practical help. If you require counseling or want more professional help, please consult your healthcare provider, a psychologist, or any other qualified individual.

Saturday, December 30, 2017

New Year's Resolutions

John B. Marine | December 30, 2017 | | | Be the first to comment!
To make next year special, resolve to do some things. New Year's resolutions are more like goals for the upcoming year. What can you work on in the new year to make the new year special? A lot of people invest in these resolutions to have some kind of game plan for the future and to live better. Some make a big deal about it; some others not so much. What do I think about New Year's resolutions?

New Year's Resolutions
^ picture credit from: politicsofpoverty.oxfamamerica.org - What are your resolutions for the new year? Should you have any?

To be honest, I don't care for New Year's resolutions because of commitment reasons and simply that simply because life screws your mind in so many ways that even the best laid plans ultimately fail. So one thing I've basically learned is to just live life. I am not saying to not have resolutions- just don't rely on them or bear any extreme importance on them. You can have as many resolutions as you like and try to commit to all of them as best as you can. Your life shouldn't be defined by having and relying on resolutions. You are not a failure just because you had planned on having New Year's resolutions and failing to live up to them or commit to them. It just means life got in the way of your best-laid plans to make a specific year better than you had planned. Sometimes, trying to set up New Year's resolutions only sets you up for failure. So those plans for you to lose weight and develop solid muscle in the new year means you will still have all of those extra pounds that could have been dropped long ago before dining on cheeseburgers and BBQ ribs. New Year's resolutions almost sometimes speak to the level of "oh, this person wants to lose weight. Let's rack his/her brain with thoughts and events to prevent those goals from coming true!" You can always teach yourself to stick to your New Year's resolutions and execute them; but really, and from my own experiences, don't put yourself through the trouble. Just live life and improvise when need be. Or just make that your resolution for the new year- to not have any specific resolution(s).

I am pretty sure this is not as popular an opinion regarding New Year's resolutions. Most of the opinions I make mostly are based on a lot of my own life experiences and a lot of what I have experienced. Take 2017 for instance. My mantra for 2017 was "make magic happen happier tomorrow." What this meant was that I wanted to be more productive while also being more positive and happy. Most of my execution was there... but life happened- I found myself rather depressed when Hurricane Harvey hit Houston, followed by my grandmother passing away months later as well as me having to be hospitalized. I didn't feel too happy in those times. So basically, I stopped caring about New Year's resolutions and just live life as best as I could. If it means I end up living my last days in this universe, then so be it. At least I lived as long as I could in making each waking moment matter. While I may have plans and visions for the new year, I don't RELY on resolutions to help me enjoy the new year.

But again- that's just me. To each his/her own.





Feel free to share and discuss.

Do you believe in New Year's resolutions?

Thank you for reading! Take care and be well.

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Tuesday, December 26, 2017

Don't Let Your Failures Define You!

John B. Marine | December 26, 2017 | | | | Be the first to comment!
Don't let failure define you! While we all will fail at some point for whatever reason(s), we shouldn't let failures define us. If we let failure define us, then that is all we will be to others- failures. Disappointments. People who experience and have to live with being considered a failure are often perceived to fail in critical moments. Failure is not entirely a bad thing. In fact, making mistakes is a part of life. You learn to screw things up before ultimately getting better, granted you work to get over your mistakes. You only become successful when you learn from mistakes and work to limit such mistakes.

While some people are defined by their failures, the magnitude of failure(s) determine who are we to others. Some of us are failures to others because we made simple mistakes most people in their right mind wouldn't commit. Some others are failures for doing despicable and unforgivable acts (like murder or rape). Many people are defined for their successes and their good qualities, but it can sometimes be the failures and negatives that offer more concrete impressions about ourselves in the eyes of others. Those negatives could make some of us be thought of in a light different than how we want to be perceived. Some negatives can make role models and heroes seem like absolute fakes.

Regardless, you still can't let yourself be defined by your failures. Use failure as a means of making yourself a better person. We learn from our mistakes and make these opportunities to make ourselves better for the future. Maybe you should do the same if you let certain failures define you. Good luck in trying to make yourself better. And remember- you are NOT a failure. You can always be better even in your worst moments and in your darkest times. Do NOT let failure define you!

Here is a picture quote that may motivate you if you are facing these issues...

define failure
^ from: (Pinterest) - Do not let failure define you!


Extra Reading.

One website I came across in researching this topic offers some great advice to help you realize that your failures do not define you. Visit here if you are interested: Margie Warrell | Your Failures Don't Define You.




I hope you found this post useful. Thank you for reading! Take care and be well.

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Thursday, December 21, 2017

"All You're Ever Going to Be..."

John B. Marine | December 21, 2017 | | | Be the first to comment!
All you're ever going to be... is something less than what you actually are. No matter how much you try to improve and get in the good graces of others, you keep being downgraded and disrespected. Like you can be only SO good. Being talked about in this context makes you feel you can never be better than what you can be. Basically- why try to improve for someone who believes in you only so much? If you can be the highest elected official of your city or nation, at least be regarded and believed in at this specific level. At least believe in someone to that level to where someone can go above and beyond to be at their absolute best. But, no... some people only have so much faith in someone to where failure is inevitable. So in this case, why bother trying to encourage someone who isn't capable of so much encouragement? It nearly defeats the purpose of helping someone be their absolute best. If all ever someone is going to be is something less than what they are capable of or potentially capable of, knocking someone down to such a low level makes that person feel worthless.

Certain factors always get in the way as to someone being better. For example, someone may regard someone and believe in someone to do something successfully, but that one encouraging person thinks the one he/she is encouraging has a habit of not being able to complete tasks successfully or giving up in crucial moments. Everyone has their deficiencies. Surely I have not been perfect or successful doing things. However, I'd rather have my issues and shortcomings rather than have someone feel only so confident in my abilities. Someone can always push to be better; but if you are going to kick somebody down because they will ultimately fall short, then why try to encourage someone? If a teacher or a professor does not believe his/her students will learn lifelong lessons and make themselves better, then why would such people still give lectures and lessons? Why doesn't the teacher/professor just fail all of his/her students and move on with their lives? Would the coach of a sports team encourage his/her players to fail because that coach only thinks so much of that team and its players? If so, the players would have left a long time ago because they would hate to play to fail.

So where am I getting at here? Simple- everyone can improve to make themselves better. Do not talk about someone like they can only be SO good. When I look at certain people, I think they can be capable of great success. Reaching that great success is different for everyone. You at least need to have enough heart to believe in someone to where they can reach those great levels of success. People being encouraged do not have to be perfect or adept- they just need to perform like they are capable of almost anything. You can't do that when you keep thinking of people ultimately becoming failures. What is the point of encouraging someone when you think of and regard people as failures? So if you are going to encourage someone, help that person to realize what he/she is capable of. Make that person have to seek his/her greatest qualities to accomplish tasks rather than hate them for their flaws. If the goal is success and promise, give people a chance and let them work to become as successful as you think someone can be. If you think someone is ultimately going to fail, either change your expectations or do a better job helping someone become better. The world's problems are not going to solve themselves. You have some sort of influence to help make things better. Why not take advantage and build a relationship that will pay high dividends and make a difference? It's up to you...

These are all depressing thoughts, but it feels so terrible to only be given so much credit and only be given so much of a chance when we can be capable of so much more.





I want to keep "John's Life Space" as a blog of issues you can relate to and get advice with. If there are relevant life issue topics of any kind that you want me to discuss, please be sure to contact me with your ideas. Meanwhile, thank you for reading! Take care and be well.

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Sunday, December 17, 2017

Kindness All Year

John B. Marine | December 17, 2017 | | | Be the first to comment!
Kindness should be all year- not just Christmas. Don't be nice to everyone just because it's Christmas time. Try being kind and respectful all year. Better kind all the time than being a jerk every other day. We don't need holidays to all of a sudden make us want to show kindness and respect to others. You know, don't just be nice just because it's one specific time of year. Almost as if to say it is one specific time where being respectful is mandatory. If you can make a difference in someone's life any time of year, go make it happen. Who cares what time it is or what time of year it is, and why should it affect when you should be kind and respectful? Speaking of making things happen, great for you if you can provide meals or gifts for others while it is Christmas. I salute everyone who tries to make times better for others- let alone during Christmas time.

All I am saying is... it is always great to show kindness. However, don't just be nice to others just because it is Christmas time. Try being respectful and kind all year long. Make yourself a better person by making life better for others. Make kindness an all-year deal, instead of just being kind one time of year and being a jerk every other time of year.





I'm glad you were able to read my blog post. Hopefully you found it useful. Thank you for reading! Take care and be well.

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Sunday, December 10, 2017

Boredom

John B. Marine | December 10, 2017 | | | | Be the first to comment!
Being bored is pretty normal. What happens, though, when you are trying NOT to be bored? Battling boredom can be simple or complicated. Whatever makes you bored can play how you fight out of it. If there is anything that can be done to help you feel motivated and excited again, you'll surely do whatever you can to make it happen. I'm glad you've taken time out of your day to visit "John's Life Space." Let me make it worth your while with this post.






Boredom


boredom
^ from: historytech.wordpress.com - Boooooring... Being bored can be unhealthy. So finding ways to battle boredom can help you feel better when life lacks excitement or intrigue.

What happens when you get bored? When you are bored, you simply just live in times where you have no reason to be happy or entertained. Looking at boring things or having boring experiences means you simply aren't enjoying life. While you are not sad or depressed, you are not very entertained either. What most people do (especially on social media) is simply post anything they want just to draw a reaction or make a release. While I don't condone posting anything completely random, if it helps you to battle boredom, go for it.

Boredom can stem from a number of sources. I felt overly bored and disappointed in 2016 during Christmas time because my family had a Christmas party. Keep in mind that this Christmas party was NOT on Christmas proper. During this time, I was basically told in the sense that I already know what I got for Christmas, so there was not much need to feel festive or surprised. It was one of the most boring Christmas times I can remember. The whole thing seemed boring as I felt disappointed. I admit I don't have true Christmas spirit- caring about things other than gifts, but I at least see Christmas as a joyous time of year. Even my old self should be able to have the same Christmas fun even in my youth.

So what is the takeaway from my previous paragraph? If you let certain things bore you, they will drive you up the wall and make you feel unable to enjoy life. Boredom can lead to depression if things fester. What you want to do is look for things to give you happiness and keep you entertained. It can be ANYTHING- even if it is something that isn't wholesome. The most important thing to do when battling boredom is to find things that make you happy and keep you entertained. Play for favorite video/computer games for a good while. Read your favorite book or magazine. Exercise. Anything that makes you happy is what you should be doing to battle boredom. Even at times, what you do to battle boredom still may not be enough. Just keep trying to come up with things to help save yourself from being bored. The more you feel entertained and engaged, the better you will feel about yourself and living. If you still feel bored after doing and thinking entertaining things, you may simply need to find some other activity or try harder not to get bored so easily.

Maybe this will help you out if you're dealing with boredom.





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Wednesday, December 6, 2017

Count Your Blessings

John B. Marine | December 06, 2017 | | | Be the first to comment!
Count your blessings when times are rough. Something you may not realize is that people may have much worse conditions than you. Recall what fortune you have when times are bleak. Trouble is, not many of us recognize or accept certain blessings. Most of the time, we don't think about what is going in our favor even when it seems like everything around us is so negative. For example, even if you are not in excellent health, at least you are still living. As much as each moment can be an opportunity for bad times to pile up, at least be hopeful times can be more positive even in the wake of bad times. Thinking about what all is good around you will not solve the world's problems, but you do feel better knowing you are in a better place than where you may be at present.

Try to think about all you have when facing problems. You may not be the most qualified or the most talented, but you shouldn't let your problems overwhelm you. You become a stronger person when you realize just what power and control you have as opposed to giving into your problems and fallacies. One aspect of life is to take what is given to you and make something special. You will not be in the best of circumstances, but at least you can make do with what is available to you. Just don't give up!

So one last time...
Count Your Blessings Not Your Troubles
^ from: juxtapost.com (best I could find) - Count your blessings, not your troubles.





Hopefully this post enlightens and encourages you. I do what I can, and so should you. Thank you for reading! Take care and be well.

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Monday, December 4, 2017

Fitting In

John B. Marine | December 04, 2017 | Be the first to comment!
We all want to fit in. We all want to be among the "cool" crowds. We want to be among the general mainstream. Why? Because nobody wants to be around someone opposite of what the normal (or at least acceptable). This feeling of being left out and not recognized is what brings some people to shame and disappointment. People do everything they can just to be recognized and loved. This is not just a social problem; it also can impact people like bloggers, people in chat rooms, and the like. Not being able to be among a clique can lead to feeling left out and disappointed. I will share my thoughts on trying to fit in to maybe help those who may suffer from these issues.






Fitting In


Let me provide a classic example to set up this post...

fitting in
^ from: (Twitter) - "You can't sit with us!" This popular expression from "Mean Girls" shows an example of not being able to fit in with a certain crowd.

Here is a classic case- someone arrives in a new setting and wants to be noticed right away. Maybe this individual is shy (and understandably so) and is not really sure what crowd to hang out with. There is nothing wrong with trying to fit in with a certain clique. After all, the feeling of continuity and community are beneficial to maintaining strong social bonds. Such cliques can range from fans of a certain piece of entertainment to basic peer groups. However, what happens when you are unable to fit in with certain groups? This is where trying to fit in can be a hassle.

Let's take the discussion further on trying to fit in.




Nuances of Fitting In


Let's discuss the finer details of trying to fit in. Consider the following...


Trying to Fit In.

The desire and passion to fit into a crowd takes on a number of angles. You have to learn the crowd, what makes that crowd fun, and more. I will provide you a little example. Earlier in 2017, I became a regular of following Twitch streams. A sample I will provide is SaltyBet, a channel mostly devoted towards fights with the PC game "M.U.G.E.N." In order to be better accepted among the many chatters, you had to learn a handful of terms. I have my own personality and my own thoughts on things. These views, however, wouldn't get me too far if I didn't get involved and be like others. In Japanese culture, we have a term like "waifu" to basically denote almost any sexy young woman, preferably among the anime realm. Almost any female character showcased in a MUGEN fight is usually referred to as a waifu by others. There were even other terms and such that are widely used and appeal to the masses. There were even certain songs that played (mostly video game songs) that most people either like or dislike. My time mostly being on the channel were mostly positive, and I've had some fun times. However, I feel bad knowing that I have to exhibit myself in a way that I am not entirely comfortable with just to be recognized and loved by some others.

Maybe once I referred to a *waifu* as a young lady, and I was looked on funny by the chat. I basically had to (and I mean no disrespect) lower my standards just to meet the standards of others and to fit in. Fitting in with crowds mean you sometimes put aside your own personal attributes to try to make yourself fit among a certain crowd. It may also mean you have to accept or agree to things others you do not agree with or accept. But if all means making yourself respected and acknowledged as a functioning member of a clique or society, then so be it.


Being Recognized in a Crowd.

I generally dislike not being recognized. Sure, I am nobody special, but I feel sometimes like I am just wasting others time if I am trying to be positive and supportive but still feel like I am just another talking head. I like being sincere to others. Even if my thoughts are different from others, at least I want to show I am sincere and honest in my thoughts. The last thing I want to be is either another generic individual or a burden.


When Fitting In Fails, And is it Your Fault?

So that crowd you were trying to get into doesn't like you. Is it the end? Do you just not have enough to hang with a certain clique? And is it entirely your fault?

For the most part, you simply don't matter enough to individuals who see you a certain way. You don't have to be with a certain clique or have a certain circle of friends to thrive in society. Some people actually prefer being alone. Why bother trying to get with a certain crowd when you can operate on your own? Unless there are people whose good graces you are trying to win, you don't really need to try to fit in with such people.


These are only a few aspects of trying to fit in. Let me offer a few final thoughts to help you out (if I can).




Fitting In: Final Thoughts


You do not have to try to get with a certain crowd, but there are those who feel left out and disregarded without being part of a certain clique. People need to be given chances to socialize along with trying to find the best opportunities to bond with others. Trying to fit in is of great importance to a number of people because there is a sense of community and belonging that goes with fitting into a certain crowd. For those who prefer leading than following, trying to fit in does not apply to you since you march to the beat of your own drum and don't feel the need to be part of any clique.

In no way am I suggesting being part of a clique is good or bad. All I am saying is that if you are trying to fit in, you'd best try to do so by trying to connect with the general public or a certain group in a certain way. It is up to you to try to do what it takes to prove yourself to be as interesting as the clique you are trying to associate yourself with. You may need to understand certain nuances to try to be among the mainstream. No matter what, we all deserve to make ourselves available to a group and try to function properly among that clique. That is... if you prefer being part of a clique or function among a society.

To many others... why fit in when you can stand out?





That is all for this post. If you want to discuss, feel free to do so, even answering this question if you like:

Have you ever tried to fit in with a certain clique? Is it ever right or wrong to want to try to fit in?

I hope I was able to help you in some capacity. Please be sure to offer me your support if you found this post (or any of my others) useful. Thank you for reading! Take care and be well.

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Friday, December 1, 2017

Encouragement

John B. Marine | December 01, 2017 | | | Be the first to comment!
Have you encouraged someone lately? When you encourage someone, you give him/her confidence and comfort. These feelings can go a long way to helping someone remain productive. Encouragement keeps us positive. Otherwise, we would be hated on and given no hope from other people. Our quality of life doesn't exactly depend on encouragement, but at least it helps. Come get your fill of motivation for this blog post. It's time to encourage!






Encouragement


encouragement
^ from: (LinkedIn) - Give others confidence by encouraging them. You can help lift the spirits of others which, in turn, will make others better in the long run.

Let me set up a scene for you. You meet someone for the first time ever. The person in question doesn't know you and doesn't seem like someone who would cause trouble. What do you tell this person? Do you tell him/her:

A.) You are an amazing individual capable of amazing things.

Or do you tell that person:

B.) You are a failure in society and life, and I hope you never succeed.

The ones who respond to "A" are those who see promise in others and want to encourage them to do well. Those who respond "B" have no compassion or perhaps can't see the good in others. Encouragement helps us to realize there are people out there who have their best interests in mind


Encouragement: A Blogging Project.

As someone who follows fashion blogs, I have had the opportunity to reach out to different fashion bloggers and fashion personalities online. The goal was to personally extend my respect to others. What I did was offer E-Mails to various personalities I am most fond of. Reactions to others ranged from deep thanks to those having a bit more respect for me. I want to encourage others because I know others can be better. If some are already good, I want them to be better. I also want to prove that I am caring and sincere when offering compliments (and even constructive criticism). I know everyone has the potential to be amazing. All I want to do is offer the first steps towards helping individuals realize their amazing abilities. If I didn't see such potential, I wouldn't care for certain individuals.

I was pleased I was able to make people feel compelled to keep making content ranging from blog posts to fashion outfits. When you encourage someone, you mean something to others. So encouraged individuals keep providing content as well as improving their skills. I never want people whom I believe in to stop doing what they love. I want the best for everyone- even for some people I may not like or overly hate.

What can encouragement do for others? Read the next section for some examples.




Encouragement Examples


To help in explaining encouragement further, I will provide examples.


Encouragement Example: Attractive Female.

Imagine a female who is looking to be taken by a handsome gentleman. Or if you prefer same-sex relationships, let's say she is looking to win the heart of another female. Anyhow, this hypothetical female dresses up attractively in hopes of being taken. She smiles sweetly. She has confidence in herself and her personality. Then... she fails to be acknowledged and respected. This female would be overly disappointed and feels she expended her resources and skills... only to come up short. But at one point, imagine someone comes up to her and compliments her loveliness- both outside and inside. The feeling of being respected [finally] is grounds for her to feel loved. This is what she wanted, and she got what she was looking for.

When you set yourself to have certain goals and finally have someone recognize your situation and acts towards it, it is an amazing feeling to be encouraged. This female who was encouraged helps her feel better able to live life. And who knows? Maybe that female could date or even marry that individual who encouraged her. Never know...


Encouragement Example: Small Business.

We all know it can be difficult trying to make money and gain traffic. Imagine encouragement for a small business. Small businesses can range from us bloggers to actual business owners. Imagine a small business is struggling. Let's say this small business gets attention either from people who just window shop or from people who probably want to rob the business. A floundering business may decide to close up shop. However, imagine someone comes to a small business and does some shopping. Imagine that same individual wants to buy from that business more often. Guess what? Having this level of business encourages the small business to keep offering quality products.


Encouragement Example: Bloggers and Other Producers.

Here is something I know you bloggers and video makers can relate to. I have been blogging on the Blogger/Blogspot platform since 2009. A lot of people don't maintain blogs for so long. Some either lose the motivation or don't feel compelled enough to keep going. Some creative works types use services like Patreon to have fans financially support others. You have no idea what it means to support someone for their work. If a content producer is encouraged when he/she is down, offering kindness will help push others to keep providing quality content. Think back to when I mentioned reaching out to various fashion bloggers earlier in this blog post. If I didn't show my personal appreciation for others' work, most would probably not try harder or care.


In these examples, the power of encouragement can be beneficial in helping others be respected and loved. Without encouragement, some people may give up doing what they love or maybe even hate their lives trying to give so much into what they want to do. It doesn't hurt to offer kindness and encouragement.




Encouragement: Final Thoughts


Encouragement is a means of showing that you care and want others to succeed. We don't ask for people to be in our lives and offer support, but at least it doesn't hurt to offer that extra bit of motivation. Encouragement can go a long way towards helping someone or something realize true potential. It is better to offer something a chance rather than completely abandon it in failure.

If you never offered your encouragement to help someone, start! Let your journey in encouragement begin to try to offer hope where others may not be able to accept or acknowledge encouragement.





That's all for this one.

Have you encouraged anyone before?

Thank you for reading! Take care and be well.

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