Fitting In

We all want to fit in. We all want to be among the "cool" crowds. We want to be among the general mainstream. Why? Because nobody wants to be around someone opposite of what the normal (or at least acceptable). This feeling of being left out and not recognized is what brings some people to shame and disappointment. People do everything they can just to be recognized and loved. This is not just a social problem; it also can impact people like bloggers, people in chat rooms, and the like. Not being able to be among a clique can lead to feeling left out and disappointed. I will share my thoughts on trying to fit in to maybe help those who may suffer from these issues.

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Fitting In

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Let me provide a classic example to set up this post...


^ from: (Twitter) - "You can't sit with us!" This popular expression from "Mean Girls" shows an example of not being able to fit in with a certain crowd.

Here is a classic case- someone arrives in a new setting and wants to be noticed right away. Maybe this individual is shy (and understandably so) and is not really sure what crowd to hang out with. There is nothing wrong with trying to fit in with a certain clique. After all, the feeling of continuity and community are beneficial to maintaining strong social bonds. Such cliques can range from fans of a certain piece of entertainment to basic peer groups. However, what happens when you are unable to fit in with certain groups? This is where trying to fit in can be a hassle.

Let's take the discussion further on trying to fit in.

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Nuances of Fitting In

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Let's discuss the finer details of trying to fit in. Consider the following...

Trying to Fit In.

The desire and passion to fit into a crowd takes on a number of angles. You have to learn the crowd, what makes that crowd fun, and more. I will provide you a little example. Earlier in 2017, I became a regular of following Twitch streams. A sample I will provide is SaltyBet, a channel mostly devoted towards fights with the PC game "M.U.G.E.N." In order to be better accepted among the many chatters, you had to learn a handful of terms. I have my own personality and my own thoughts on things. These views, however, wouldn't get me too far if I didn't get involved and be like others. In Japanese culture, we have a term like "waifu" to basically denote almost any sexy young woman, preferably among the anime realm. Almost any female character showcased in a MUGEN fight is usually referred to as a waifu by others. There were even other terms and such that are widely used and appeal to the masses. There were even certain songs that played (mostly video game songs) that most people either like or dislike. My time mostly being on the channel were mostly positive, and I've had some fun times. However, I feel bad knowing that I have to exhibit myself in a way that I am not entirely comfortable with just to be recognized and loved by some others.

Maybe once I referred to a *waifu* as a young lady, and I was looked on funny by the chat. I basically had to (and I mean no disrespect) lower my standards just to meet the standards of others and to fit in. Fitting in with crowds mean you sometimes put aside your own personal attributes to try to make yourself fit among a certain crowd. It may also mean you have to accept or agree to things others you do not agree with or accept. But if all means making yourself respected and acknowledged as a functioning member of a clique or society, then so be it.

Being Recognized in a Crowd.

I generally dislike not being recognized. Sure, I am nobody special, but I feel sometimes like I am just wasting others time if I am trying to be positive and supportive but still feel like I am just another talking head. I like being sincere to others. Even if my thoughts are different from others, at least I want to show I am sincere and honest in my thoughts. The last thing I want to be is either another generic individual or a burden.

When Fitting In Fails, And is it Your Fault?

So that crowd you were trying to get into doesn't like you. Is it the end? Do you just not have enough to hang with a certain clique? And is it entirely your fault?

For the most part, you simply don't matter enough to individuals who see you a certain way. You don't have to be with a certain clique or have a certain circle of friends to thrive in society. Some people actually prefer being alone. Why bother trying to get with a certain crowd when you can operate on your own? Unless there are people whose good graces you are trying to win, you don't really need to try to fit in with such people.


These are only a few aspects of trying to fit in. Let me offer a few final thoughts to help you out (if I can).

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Fitting In: Final Thoughts

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You do not have to try to get with a certain crowd, but there are those who feel left out and disregarded without being part of a certain clique. People need to be given chances to socialize along with trying to find the best opportunities to bond with others. Trying to fit in is of great importance to a number of people because there is a sense of community and belonging that goes with fitting into a certain crowd. For those who prefer leading than following, trying to fit in does not apply to you since you march to the beat of your own drum and don't feel the need to be part of any clique.

In no way am I suggesting being part of a clique is good or bad. All I am saying is that if you are trying to fit in, you'd best try to do so by trying to connect with the general public or a certain group in a certain way. It is up to you to try to do what it takes to prove yourself to be as interesting as the clique you are trying to associate yourself with. You may need to understand certain nuances to try to be among the mainstream. No matter what, we all deserve to make ourselves available to a group and try to function properly among that clique. That is... if you prefer being part of a clique or function among a society.

To many others... why fit in when you can stand out?





That is all for this post. If you want to discuss, feel free to do so, even answering this question if you like:

Have you ever tried to fit in with a certain clique? Is it ever right or wrong to want to try to fit in?

I hope I was able to help you in some capacity. Please be sure to offer me your support if you found this post (or any of my others) useful. Thank you for reading! Take care and be well.

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