JOHN'S LIFE SPACE DISCLAIMER:

"John's Life Space" features a variety of content to many audiences. The majority of content is meant to suit an audience 13 years of age and older. Some material offered in this blog may not be suitable for all audiences and may include some topics too sensitive or discomforting to discuss. All advice offered in this blog is not meant to replace or substitute practical help. If you require counseling or want more professional help, please consult your healthcare provider, a psychologist, or any other qualified individual.

Tuesday, June 27, 2023

Suspicious Profiles

John B. Marine | June 27, 2023 | | Be the first to comment!
"(Name) has sent you a new friend request."

"(Name) followed you."

It is always great to meet new people on social media. Well, most of the time. Someone may seem completely innocent until this suspected "friend" may troll you or link you to something shady. Someone who may seem completely innocent may simply be a bunch of sexy pictures that probably isn't even that exact person. If you are trying to meet new people or gain new fans/followers, you have to be careful who you encounter. So this blog post discusses one of the pitfalls of social media- dealing with spam profiles. Let's get into it!


BEFORE I BEGIN...

Some of what I am about to discuss pertains to personal experiences of mine and intimate thoughts regarding meeting such suspicious profiles. While I may not cite specific individuals, I will make mention to certain individuals I've encountered.






Suspicious Profiles


I created this blog post almost as a chance to vent from a rash of fake profiles I have dealt with for months on end.

Social media is all about connecting with individuals close and far through cyberspace. While I have had the pleasure of meeting many people the world over through social media, I also had to deal with my fair share of fake profiles and spammers. It can be tough to fully trust some people sometimes. You may be fortunate enough to meet some complete stranger who actually does enjoy your work and does not just follow your profile(s) for the sake of following your profile(s). If that describes you, be happy! On the other hand, you may encounter someone who does mostly want to latch onto you and innundate you with spam or provide a number of shady links. If this describes you, be concerned.

A lot of social media allows you to control who you meet and who you can connect to. You do not have to accept just anyone if that is what is happening with you online. I will be discussing a few matters on certain social media platforms now. I will not mention every one, but I will make mention to some of the more popular ones.


Suspicious Profiles: Facebook.

Facebook has risen to become the biggest social media giant online. Previously, it was Myspace who was king. You now can access Myspace... through your Facebook account! Facebook has mostly been different in being more personal whom you meet and whom you connect with. While I do like to meet old friends on Facebook, some either don't remember me too well or want nothing to do with me anymore. It is a sad thing to admit, but it happens. I do feel that some people I thought would be lifelong friends and supporters ultimately want nothing to do with me anymore for whatever reason. I also may not feel I am truly a friend of someone. In some of these cases, I feel Facebook has rather DESTROYED some of my friendships rather than maintain them.

On the front of managing a Facebook Fan Page (here is mine: John Marine and JohnMarineDesigns), I am aware I may not have as much fan support as I would like. One thing I always like to say, though, is that I would rather have 50 loyal Facebook fans than 500 fake Facebook fans. I believe in being real and connecting with those who actually care. That even comes down to my fans of my Facebook fan page. I don't ever try to buy success or buy popularity.

Facebook can be a breeding ground for scammers. In my experiences, I may receive replies to Fan Pages along the lines of simply "hello" to "you seem like a great person, can you please request me?". This all sounds good on the surface. Everyone who I get requests from are those who I actually check to be genuine. A lot of the profiles I check mostly have maybe one or two pictures of normal to suspicious nature followed by maybe some quirky quote. Some profiles mostly are living advertisements to some suspicious adult-only website or some other kind of shady website. I make attempts to try to connect with most of my social media friends and family on a regular basis.

The reality of some of these people I have encountered on Facebook wait for a certain opportunity to connect with you and then hit you with shady material. Like, some people will pick a moment to connect with you and then make you fall for whatever scheme they have set up. One person I encountered basically feigned having some real ailment and tried to link me to some shady website. I IMMEDIATELY blocked (and maybe reported) this person. One other person who I thought was genuine years ago mostly wanted me to Become a Fan of (nowadays "Like") certain fan pages of suspicious pages. I felt this other person was suspicious, and I ultimately decided to drop this other person from my friends list. There were a few people who I added because I thought they were genuine... until I saw they had a bunch of profile pictures that are NOT of that person. For example, someone pretending to be someone else with genuine pictures, but then have a bunch of fake pictures for filler. As with other phonies, I blocked that profile and unfriended.

---Dealing with Suspicious Facebook Profiles---
What I ultimately did was limit any further friend requests to those I am already friends with. This is a measure that is good for cutting down on suspicious profiles on Facebook. It means only friends of friends can request you to be friends of yours. It does not guarantee friends of friends will all be genuine, but at least you will no longer get the random friend request of some suspicious individual. If you simply do not want to meet anyone new on Facebook, simply disallow any and all future friend requests.

I take an extra measure by looking at profiles that Follow my main profile. If I see a certain individual is Following my feed but not friends with me, I check to make sure a certain profile isn't suspicious in any such way. Someone who doesn't seem genuine a person I block- even if I don't have that person as a friend. You can allow or disallow people to follow your Facebook feed. Such people may not be your Facebook friends if they just Follow you, but at least you won't have to worry about getting scammed at some random moment from someone who you feel is genuine when you encountered that person on Facebook.

What about those Fan Pages where I get random people pretending to love my commentary? I report Spam. Afterwards, I have my tag removed from those comments, block that individual, and then hide any other comments from that person. You have to disallow suspicious material as best as you can.


Suspicious Profiles: Twitter.

Twitter can be a hot mess. It can sometimes be the most negative and toxic social media platforms online; and if you're not careful, you can be drawn into this downward spiral of a social media platform. It has been a place where I have encountered the most traffic from negative-minded individuals and also being followed by shady individuals. It also is a platform where people share news of people dying that haven't officially died (i.e., "RIP (somebody who hasn't actually died). It can be brutal on Twitter.

People can say whatever they want about Twitter of late being bought by a certain very rich person, but my real complaint has been in trying to defeat suspicious profiles. What am I talking about? I am talking about when you get mostly spam follows from what appears to be sexy women. They'll either link to their Only Fans (or some other adult website) or have absolutely nothing on their page but a lot of Followers and some picture.

---Dealing with Suspicious Twitter Profiles---
It used to be that you could report any sort of spam profile. Now, reporting is only done with more serious violations or conditions on the service. So all you can do with suspicious profiles is block them. It is a solution, but not a permanent solution. That (sadly) means you will have to continually block any and every suspicious Twitter profile so that person can keep making spam profiles and constantly annoying you.

Someone who may be friends with you may have their accounts hacked and deliver some spam E-Mails or spam messages. If someone you Follow has been hacked, don't fall for their hacked messages. It may also help to delete certain message discussions from someone hacked.


Suspicious Profiles: Instagram.

I surely have no regrets leaving Instagram. I had one too many bad experiences to where I felt the best thing I could do is leave. Sure, I lost my biggest outlet of sharing pictures, but at least I don't have to deal with some of the toxicity of comments as well as times where I got locked out of my account there. I thought about returning to Instagram as a business profile, but I still am away from Instagram and proud of it. Never again.

---Dealing with Suspicious Instagram Profiles---
What if you are dealing with supicious profiles on Instagram? Simply block whomever you find suspicious. Report anyone who is harassing you.


Suspicous Profiles: YouTube.

YouTube is the premier medium for sharing videos. In the past, I have had my fair share of haters and trolls on YouTube. Most of the spam and hate have been cleaned up.

---Dealing with Suspicious YouTube Profiles---
Should you see suspicious channels, block or report them. If you get certain suspicious channels in your Recommended videos, click on the three dots and select "Don't Recommend Channel."


Suspicious Profiles: TikTok.

I personally can not tolerate TikTok. However, I am on there to view various TikToks. A lot of people do find a good laugh out of short videos complimented with either lip syncing or some dancing or acting. Spam profiles may follow your work either sending you spam TikToks or are profiles laden with spam content.

---Dealing with Suspicious TikTok Profiles---
Report any suspicious profiles offering spam TikToks. Block any suspicious profiles as well.


Suspicious Profiles: Certain Services.

Examples of this section relate to certain services that are not social media platforms but certain services. Examples of this include: blog comments, media services, online marketplaces, etc. You may, for example, pick up a spam comment in your blog from a spam profile. You may get some Follow from a suspicious follower on a media-sharing website claiming to be a legitimate person who could try to promote your music.

---Dealing with Suspicious Non-Social Media Profiles---
Whatever resources there are to block and/or report suspicious individuals, use those resources to help protect yourself and your work. If there are individuals wanting to work with you to promote your content, be careful who you trust. Someone who may be genuine may be trying to cash in on your success or scam you. So make sure you can trust some people who come around to interact with your work.


A few final thoughts are coming up.




Suspicious Profiles: Final Thoughts


Social media can be a great way to meet new people and connect with those you know. Social media also, however, be an exercise in patience dealing with suspicious profiles. The best thing you can do is shun off people online who are suspicious in nature. Any combination of blocking and/or reporting fake profiles will go a long way in making the social media experience a happy one for you and others.

Social media may have a bunch of fake profiles, but there are actual genuine people who are worth connecting with. Do not entirely give up on meeting others and connecting with others if it is a goal of yours. You can still promote your work to others while also try to meet new people. Just make sure you know who are dealing with and always be vigilant.





I hope all of you on social media will be able to deal with these people as best as possible online. If you enjoy my work, please Subscribe/Follow my blog(s) in any capacity if you love my work and want to support me any way you can. Share my blog post(s) with others if you enjoy my work. Thank you for reading! Take care and be well.

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Monday, May 29, 2023

Can You Fear Your Own Anger?

John B. Marine | May 29, 2023 | | | Be the first to comment!
Being angry is a natural feeling among humans. Some people have controlled anger while others may have explosive anger. However, when you fear your own anger, you have angrophobia. Angrophobia suggests one can become so angry that he/she/they may fear damaging property, viciously injuring someone (including oneself), or even killing someone (even oneself) on their angry rage. It is as if someone's anger can be so vicious that even the one who gets incredibly angry is afraid of his/her/their own anger. It is that feeling of being overwhelmed by something so powerful within you. You realize and respect this awesome force and succumb to this force. I will share some more thoughts on this matter through this blog post.






Fearing Your Own Anger


Anger is a natural emotion to have and express. It is also okay to be frustrated from time to time. While it is okay to be angry or frustrated, how one handles being angry can make a big difference towards how people see you. Can a person handle being angry in a healthy way, or can one's angry rage only be stopped by that individual? Those who respect and acknowledge having anger problems often times can feel scared of their own anger.

Depending on the situation, one can become mildly angry or even become extremely angry. One's own rage can be enough to perform catastrophic damage to all in an enraged person's path and surroundings. Enraged individuals can do things such as punch holes in walls, damage property, scream loudly, grit one's teeth, and at the worst- commit violence and injure (or even kill) individuals. Being angry causes us to act in ways usually out of our character. A mild-mannered person who is generally kind can become a savage beast when one's anger is pushed to one's breaking point. Anger becomes this force that consumes us and turns us into savages. Once we let our anger loose, it can be difficult to control or suppress. Anger makes us do things we would never do on the normal and in a controlled state.

Those who are unable to manage their anger in healthy ways end up doing damage to more than just property or life. Some people even risk severing ties to family and loved ones. This can be critical in relationships. A parent upset about one's child or children doing bad in school/college or committing some crime(s) can result in the parent being so angry that he/she may borderline on child abuse or assault. A couple may have one or the other be so angry over some dispute that domestic violence may be involved.

I am transparent in my blogs, so let me admit- I can get intensely angry or frustrated. I got into trouble in the past at school because of my anger. I sometimes fear becoming scared of my own anger. While I don't consider myself a ticking time bomb, I do admit I can be consumed from my own anger if I reach my breaking point or am provoked beyond my level of tolerance.


Control Anger Before it Controls You!

It is okay to be angry, but just make sure you do not become too angry that you risk being a savage beast. Some people can not contain their own anger. Some who can not control their own anger end up being uncontrollable and unstable. If one is confrontational and belligerent, this can only enhance the impact of one's anger. They may even find themselves having to be strapped into a straitjacket, even end up in a mental hospital, or even jail/prison.


How to Treat Your Anger.

The best way to prevent the worst possible scenario is to seek ways to control your anger. One method is to take deep breaths when angry. One can also exercise to try to get one's mind right when dealing with anger. For more extreme (and potentially expensive) ways to manage anger, one might want to arrange with a psychologist or a psychotherapist for treatment.

Whatever it takes to manage your anger and avoid committing non-reversible damage to life and property, do so. You are a much more sane person when not intensely angry. You act in ways different in a controlled state than you are when uncontrollably angry. Keep it that way to avoid becoming a savage.


Final Thoughts.

While anger is a natural emotion, it can become a serious concern when one's anger becomes too uncontrollable to where life and property are threatened. Despite the fact that anger is common and natural, it can be concerning when one's anger can be so powerful that even that angry individual can become so angry that they fear their own anger and what damage he/she may likely commit. Anger can be controlled. Do not let your own anger consume you, especially if you fear your own anger will make you do something you could regret for the rest of your life.

You are not a bad person just because you have violent anger. It just means you need help keeping yourself in check when faced with anger. Anger is an awesome force that can be contained and controlled. Do whatever it takes and take advantage of any available resources to help make sure you control your anger. Most of all, try not to feel so fearful of your anger. Instead, just try to manage your anger in healthy and non-destructive, non-violent ways.





Well, that's it for my discussion about anger and fearing your own anger. If you enjoy my work, please Subscribe/Follow my blog(s) in any capacity if you love my work and want to support me any way you can. Share my blog post(s) with others if you enjoy my work. Thank you for reading! Take care and be well.

Visit my JohnMarineDesigns Weebly site, subscribe to My Blog(s), and/or Follow on Bloglovin! Let's connect:
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Tuesday, March 7, 2023

Transgender Acceptance and Inclusion

John B. Marine | March 07, 2023 | | | | | | Be the first to comment!
Recent controversy by a major candy maker has inspired me to discuss transgender acceptance and inclusion. As the LGBT community is being better accepted, transgender acceptance and inclusion is still a major hurdle. This blog discussion of transgender acceptance and inclusion may not solve any transgender issues, but it will be a chance to discuss transgenders being better accepted and included in a number of arenas and outlets.






Transgender Acceptance and Inclusion


Let me start this post by sharing the inspiration for this topic.

Hershey's Chocolate [of Canada] generated controversy recently when promoting their "HerSHE" candy. The controversy involves a transgender woman being among real females. In today's changing culture, a lot of people think this is an excellent move for a transgender woman to be regarded and respected as a woman. The anti-transgender crowd, however, thought much differently. Some even used the saying, "women are born not worn." This 2023 Hershey's HerSHE campaign fueled the desire of me to discuss transgender acceptance and inclusion.


In Case You're Interested...

Check out this brief piece that helped spark my discussion on transgender acceptance and inclusion:



^ "Hershey's Women's Day campaign featuring trans activist sparks backlash"


In addition to this bit of controversy, a number of different state governments in the United States are ruling things like drag queen shows as punishable crimes. There is still a great deal of transphobia ranging from violence and discrimination against transgenders. A number of transgenders have lost their lives due to senseless violence.

The LGBT community is still very much trying to get more support and bearings, but it is still an uphill struggle to be accepted and included. Some people think transgenders are more along the lines of those who *choose* to be a gender other than their birth gender. For example, it is like (in the minds of a transphobe) a male chooses for a day to be a female rather than accept that a male at birth identifies as and acts as a female. I even remember when a female-to-male transgender became pregnant. Regardless of the gender preference of an individual, it is best to respect and acknowledge those preferences along with preferred pronouns. If a male prefers any pronouns, respect that. If a female prefers "he/him/they," respect those pronouns and use them.


Until transgenders are better accepted by the general public, we have to strive towards helping them get the respect and attention they aspire. How do we work towards transgenders being better accepted and included? I'll begin by discussing acceptance. Next section, please.




Transgender Acceptance


A lot of people mostly think of transgender types either as crossdressing or something comical. As if most people believe some transgender types really enjoy *playing* as their opposite gender. LGBT+ as it stands is already an exercise in trying to be accepted. Being transgender is even more a difficult deal to try to be accepted. Transgenders simply want to be accepted and acknowledged for their gender preference(s). Perhaps the bigger issue would involve those who legally and medically have proper transgender transition going. Even those who still have their preferences towards gender should be respected for their choices.

A person's gender preference is as important and as intimate as a person's name. As much as someone hates being called out of their name, a person hates to be misgendered. Even if an M2F transgender specifically prefers being referred to as a she/her, she hates being referred to as a he/him. What could be a less stressing circumstance is if the transgender person prefers any or all pronouns.

I do think as the LGBT community is becoming better accepted, there eventually will be fewer transphobic types. You can't eliminate transphobia, but it can surely be curbed. The problem is that not many people are willing to accept certain transgenders.


Transgender Acceptance: Transgender Youth.

My biggest fear among transgenders is with transgender youth. One of the brightest beacons and hopes for the transgender community is Jazz Jennings. Having such a supportive family and actually going through with all the different nuances of transitioning properly has been handled nicely by Jazz and her family. Even if you never seen "I Am Jazz," just know Jazz was a little boy who always known she was a girl in a boy's body. The extensive experiences by Jazz has helped her to become the beautiful and strong woman she is today.

Most transgender youth, however, do not have such support that Jazz Jennings got. Some siblings actually get kicked out of their houses by their parents or relatives for being any denomination of LGBT, let alone transgender. I remembered the first transgender I've ever known how she hated to be kicked out of her house by her grandmother just because she's transgender. This was in my college days, but being transgender in grade school can be damaging. Imagine being 17 or younger and out of a house because of being transgender.

Young transgenders could be faced with such a tough life ahead, so it is best to work with them as well as offer hope and protection to them. It is best to give them hope rather than let them feel worthless. If you are a parents of a transgender (or even a genderqueer) individual at 17 or younger, try to work with them to ensure they will be okay for years to come. Among peers, respect a transgender and whatever pronouns and gender identity a young transgender may prefer.


This is all a tough subject. Now coming up, I discuss transgender inclusion.




Transgender Inclusion


As someone who follows fashion, the feeling of inclusion is what a lot of people want to have. Fashion designers have been more open to designing clothes for many more figures and even for the LGBT community. Hershey's offering inclusion for transwomen as part of the "HerSHE" campaign is commendable. It is commendable even if the anti-transgender crowd think Hershey's should be ashamed for including a transwoman to be among cisgender women. Playboy Magazine, known for their sultry models, even showcased a transgender model in the magazine's long history. There is certainly inclusion among certain entities to include transgenders.

Transgenders do not believe they are their birth gender. Some people experience gender dysphoria, the feeling of being dissatisfied with their birth gender or preferred gender. Some people wanting to transition have hated their lives living as their birth gender and want to start anew as another gender. A transgender can be very young or even be north of age 50. Regardless- all transgenders want to be included and respected.

I think a lot of people tend to look at transgenders as monsters. Fact is- transgenders are human beings as any other human. Unless guilty of committing legitimate crimes, they should be included among the rest of the world. The trouble to all of this is that transgenders have a tough time being included. Some just fail to see the person and only latch onto gender. Until more people are accepted for their personality and their abilities, this will continue to be an issue.


Allow me to close out this one with some final thoughts.




Transgender Acceptance and Inclusion: Final Thoughts


Transgender acceptance and inclusion can be tough to come by. Though in today's culture, it is becoming better accepted in a number of countries. A changing culture means that current culture has to keep up with new changes. Those changes include better accepting the LGBT community, including transgenders.

Acceptance for the transgender community begins with giving hope, protection, and respect to transgenders. Transgenders should be able to be accepted into the workforce and stay in families. Acceptance among transgenders also mean respecting the gender(s) and pronoun(s) they prefer. The acceptance process can be tougher for transgender youth, as the stakes can be higher for them. Parents who refuse to be as supportive to young transgenders can run the risk of severing the bonds of parent-sibling for the rest of a young transgender's life. So special care is needed to prevent the chances of some serious distrust.

Transgender inclusion is as big an issue as acceptance. It helps knowing a transgender can be accepted in a given space and not be subject to any kind of discrimination. If my earlier examples of inclusion were of any indication, I am sure more companies and environments will be more inclusive and respectful of transgenders.

I do feel LGBT types will be better accepted, at least here in the United States of America. If we can get over the mindset that transgenders are monsters or diseased, we can better accept them as people and with the proper pronouns they prefer. It took ages for racial injustice to be curbed. We can do the same for the LGBT community, including transgenders. Unless a transgender is guilty of legitimate crimes or commits crimes, all transgenders should be respected equally as non-transgender individuals.


For More Information...

I have a list of helpful resources for everyone, but I have a special set of helpful resources for the LGBT community. You may view my LGBT resources at LGBT Resources on John's Life Space.





I hope you found this post helpful and assuring. If you enjoy my work, please Subscribe/Follow my blog(s) in any capacity if you love my work and want to support me any way you can. Share my blog post(s) with others if you enjoy my work. Thank you for reading! Take care and be well.

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Thursday, March 2, 2023

Asking for a Friend

John B. Marine | March 02, 2023 | | | | Be the first to comment!
What has become the latest trendy phrase is "asking for a friend." The concept works like this- rather than the person in question ask for advice, his/her/their friend asks for them. Can another person be trusting enough to legitimately ask a question to someone else and get proper advice?

I actually think this is a legitimate concept if one actually is too afraid to ask on one's own. However, I do not think one person should feel overly embarrassed. If someone wanted to visit my blog(s) for advice on something, it's here for you- no need to ask, not really any shame if you have such concerns.


Asking for a Friend: Sample Scenario.

Okay- let us set up a scenario. Let's say a straight male has a romantic attraction to another male or a transgender woman, and he has questions regarding intimacy. That male would probably want to find out on his own answers to his questions, but he would feel embarrassed to ask on his own. So someone would tell a friend to get some answers speaking on his behalf. I think someone would have to be bold enough and trusting enough to help get answers to such questions.


Asking for a Friend: No "Friend?"

What if the "asking for a friend" was simply one person having an embarrasing question and not really asking on behalf of any person? This situation would be the kind of situation where someone can absolutely question the validity of asking others for advice. In a situation like this, the person would mostly pretend to ask for advice but is really lying about trying to ask a question on a friend's behalf when there is no one he/she/they asks for. Such people protect one's own character by pretending to ask on someone else's behalf when they are the ones wanting certain advice on something.


When Asking for a Friend Can Work.

The only real situation where I can see where asking for a friend works is if someone asks a friend about something to someone who may be tough to communicate with. For example, someone may want some advice from someone who may be tough to talk with. This is the only real situation where I can see asking for a friend actually working.


Final Thoughts on Asking For a Friend.

Salute to anyone who is willing to ask questions about things to other people on their behalf. I know it can be tough trying to ask on your own, but there is more credibility and honesty when you ask questions yourself or looking for answers on your own. It is okay to ask about embarrassing things to others. Especially if you have trust issues, it is best to ask about things on your own than rely on someone else to ask on your behalf. Maybe if someone is tough to talk with about things, then it may be okay to ask for someone to try to talk with such individuals. Other than that, try to gather the courage to ask about things yourself. Preserve your honesty and character by asking questions yourself that may embarrass or concern you rather than rely on friends.





At least... these are my thoughts regarding the whole "asking for a friend" thing. You are free to react any way you see fit. Or let me ask...

How do you feel about "asking for a friend" about certain things?

You have been reading "John's Life Space"- my blog about life issues! If you enjoyed your time here and want more discussion of various life issues, make sure to subscribe/follow my work here! Recommend this blog to others if you find my topics and advice helpful. Thank you for reading! Take care and be well.

Visit my JohnMarineDesigns Weebly site, subscribe to My Blog(s), and/or Follow on Bloglovin! Let's connect:
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Wednesday, February 1, 2023

Developing Other Passions

John B. Marine | February 01, 2023 | Be the first to comment!
No matter what profession you aspire to, it is always nice to know of other passions and hustles to indulge in. I began thinking about a lot of my personal friends and online friends and what they aspire to. Some have their dream jobs, some others develop other passions to enjoy and financially profit from. You can always train and work towards your dream job, but it doesn't hurt to get into other things. So I wanted to discuss having other passions.






Developing Other Passions


A college friend of mine enjoyed being a DJ. Later, he took on photography. Someone else I knew mostly did fashion design, but recently took up real estate. A fashion blogger took up wine and champagne. Occupations seem forever, but even the most lucrative jobs won't provide the best long-term solutions. So it is always great to take on new jobs. Actually, some of my friends have taken on real estate lately. Maybe since the housing market here in Houston has been hot lately, it was possibly good to take on being a real estate agent.

In some cases, you have a dream job in mind, but some number of factors prevent you from working your dream job. For example, you may choose to be a professional basketball player, but you may have suffered one too many injuries to competitively play basketball. So what one would do is take on some other occupation. Go find something else you can take part in and have a decent career with. If you don't get into basketball, try something like professional gaming or streaming. Just find something to occupy your time and that you can hopefully enjoy.


How to Get Into Other Passions?

Find something you like. If not that, have some interest in something, and then try to get interested in it. Just don't force yourself into any side hustle or other passion that does not interest you in the least sense.

I try to occupy myself in various creative outlets so I keep myself busy. I may get into 3D modeling at one point, but then change over to making music. I may also try to work on being a better cook at times. I always keep myself busy. I don't think I could completely develop a new fondness and make it a lucrative venture. I think it is best to develop a fondness and then try to possibly find some way to make it into a career or even make profit.


What if You Are Into a Passion That May Not be Wholesome?

You are free to get into any sort of passion outside of your main one. However, what if you may be into something someone else may disapprove? Maybe you want to get into something like wine making, (assuming you are a male) being a drag queen, or getting into the adult entertainment industry. Obviously, your parents would hate seeing you get involved into some sort of other passion that isn't wholesome. It is possible you may be into the adult entertainment industry while your lover may disapprove of you showing off your body to the world while still taken (or even married).

The reality is that you are your own person, and you are in charge of the decisions you want to make in your life. So while others may disapprove of your choices, who is making the career decisions ultimately- you or somebody else? Is being in someone else's shadow preventing you from getting into anything that highly interests you? Be sure to weigh your options before considering taking part in any sort of passion that interests you.




Developing Other Passions - Final Thoughts


Always have different interests and hobbies in mind. In case you are working towards your beloved passion or are taking part in your beloved passion, always think of other things you have interest in for which your beloved passion fails. It doesn't hurt to get into other passions or learn how to do other things. Don't be forced into thinking of other hobbies. Go with something you love or have some vested interest in. You are best served staying active rather than staying stagnant.





No matter what you enjoy, it always helps to have other passions to get into. So keep at it and be your own brand of awesome! If you enjoy my work, please Subscribe/Follow my blog(s) in any capacity if you love my work and want to support me any way you can. Share my blog post(s) with others if you enjoy my work. Thank you for reading! Take care and be well.

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Thursday, January 26, 2023

Anhedonia

John B. Marine | January 26, 2023 | | | | Be the first to comment!
Anhedonia is defined as the lack of experiencing pleasure, and it is often a symptom of major depressive disorder. Imagine partaking in your favorite activities- only to not enjoy them. That is what happens when anhedonia takes over your mind. You don't get to enjoy certain pleasures that give you pleasure.

A lot of us partake in activities and such to relax our minds. When you have anhedonia, however, doing what you love does not give you an sort of satisfaction or happiness. Depression limits your ability to enjoy life or even enjoy your favorite activities. Anhedonia makes you even more incapable of feeling pleasure. Depression and anhedonia, however, are not entirely the same thing. One needs not be depressed to experience anhedonia.

In addition to anhedonia, there are also conditions known as social anhedonia and physical anhedonia. Social anhedonia is an inability to feel pleasure through being with others. Physical anhedonia involves a lack of pleasure from physical or certain emotional experiences. Imagine not being able to experience joy being around friends/family or in actions such as shaking hands, hugging, or even kissing. Anhedonia is a bane to various social interactions.

If you experience anhedonia of any kind, a lot of what makes life fun and enjoyable does not seem to matter. You can not enjoy the pleasures of life as you normally would if you didn't have anhedonia. This is a condition that makes each day feel lifeless and meaningless. If you feel you have anhedonia, the best thing you can do is consult with your healthcare provider or seek help from a psychotherapist. It is not easy to root out the main cause of what may cause anhedonia in most individuals. Every case of anhedonia may be different from one another, so make sure to seek some professional help if you are in this situation.


Other Resources.

For more information on anhedonia, I have provided these resources for you:

Anhedonia: Symptoms, Causes, Treatment - WebMD



^ What is Anhedonia?



If you or someone you know is experiencing or may have anhedonia, just know there is help out there for you to retain pleasure in your favorite activities or being around people. Do not give up on this. Get the needed help you have access to.





If you enjoy my work, please Subscribe/Follow my blog(s) in any capacity if you love my work and want to support me any way you can. Share my blog post(s) with others if you enjoy my work. Thank you for reading! Take care and be well.

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Tuesday, January 24, 2023

Always Seen Negatively

John B. Marine | January 24, 2023 | | | | | Be the first to comment!
Do you feel like some people only communicate with you when something is wrong or when you fail? This angers me personally. Someone who may think so can range from peers to even family members. Maybe you do have certain problems that need to be corrected. Conversely, you may be around people who simply don't love and respect you enough to acknowledge your positive qualities rather than always attack you for doing wrong. No matter what the case, only you know most what you are capable of. It is time for me to speak on this topic.






Always Seen Negatively


All of us have qualities which make us good and bad. How much people view our qualities help establish a sort of overall opinion about ourselves. Are we great and engaging people that make us loved in the face of others? Are we poor enough to actually not be as loved as we could be?

Some people will say something along the lines of, "only God can judge me." This means that for whatever someone bad may say about us, no one person can absolutely judge us properly to give a final opinion about who we are and what we mean to this world. Why do we judge, though? Well, we sometimes want to know how other people think about us regardless of what we think about ourselves. It is a case of wanting to know... but then not really wanting to know.

Okay- that moment comes. "What do you think about me?" If are given positive remarks or mostly positive remarks, you're good! However, let's say you aren't as good as you may think. Now what?

Personally, I feel offended when I am only seen for my negatives instead of my positives. A person who mostly seems to communicate with you with your faults makes you want to cut that person out of your life instead of being re-reminded (to that person) how horrible of a person you are. What is worse is only being negative to someone and not offer any advice or help to someone who is facing problems. In this regard, you are essentially a bully if you only talk to certain people when they are doing wrong or if you only communicate with people when someone is at their lowest points. In some people with anger problems, it makes some disturbed people want to fight somebody or something. Constantly feeling seen negatively (or feeling this way) only lessens your worth to the world in your eyes. You know you are a better person than what most people think about you, so do what you can to help drown out negative thoughts about you people may make about you.


When Usually Viewed Poorly.

I sometimes think of celebrities and some other popular figures in this regard. As an example, there was a time when Miley Ray Cyrus was considered the worst celebrity influence. Many people (myself included) loved her as "Hannah Montana" on Disney. Outside of "Hannah Montana," she became the worst celebrity influence for children in 2009 mostly for her "Wrecking Ball" song and her sexual dancing. Despite this, many praised Miley Cyrus for being a positive influence, like with her song "The Climb."

There are times when media outlets only seem to focus on the negatives of people. This makes it to where it is easy to dismiss people on certain other qualities. For example, let's say a well-known celebrity does lots of charity work and encourages other people to be better... but he/she/they may be seen as a bad person because of some incident that person has made into a bad figure. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion about things- even including people. When you know you are a better person than how you are portrayed, it makes you feel terrible inside knowing you are better than what people may think. A person who is even trying to get into the better graces of people often want to feel loved or recognized.

The reality, though, is that not everyone will be seen in any positive light all the time. Some people even await when someone who seems a hero/heroine will do something wrong to where all of the positive qualities turn out to be lies. No matter who you love or are into, you are never going to be 100% supportive of everyone. Everyone (including myself) is going to have some quality you are not going to like and will give you a reason to hate someone.



Now let me talk about what to do if constantly feeling negatively.



Always Seen Negatively - By Peers.

You are going to encounter people who always seem to think of you negatively. Are you really a bad person? This is common in school. You know you are not going to be the most popular person on campus among other students. You will be picked on and possibly bullied.

Maybe you are part of a workplace where you always feel slighted by the general public. Do you still do your job at your workplace, or do you feel you are replacable, serviceable talent?

In the face of peers, always remember who are and what you really mean to people around you. Your purpose to others is not to be the butt of everyone's jokes unless you are seriously antisocial or lacking any positive qualities. Surround yourself with people who care about you and understand you. You do not have to go it alone or be more reserved.


Always Seen Negatively - By Family.

I always say the closest friends you'll make are your family. When you feel a family member, stepfamily member, or a relative keeps regarding you negatively; you feel hurt because that is someone close to you who looks at you in a negative way. I once researched the murder of singer Marvin Gaye thinking about this topic. Marvin Gaye was one of the most powerful and popular singers in R&B music until he was killed by his father.

Sometimes, we make tough decisions to cut some people out of our lives; or at least, not be reluctant to look to some people for help. That even includes cutting family members out of our lives. Anything to help us do and feel better has to be done for our betterment later in life including isolation from loved ones will have to be made.

If you feel a family member may be difficult to deal with, you may just have to choose to work independently and limit your association and contact with that person. It may not help your bond with someone improve, but it can help for you to feel better about yourself in the area of such people. This is one of those tough decisions you may want to make if you feel a family member always sees you negatively and have given up trying to get into someone's good graces.


Always Seen Negatively - Special Considerations.

Maybe the reason you are seen negatively by people is because of certain qualities that overshadow anything good you do. Namely, reasons because of religious views, governmental views, sexual orientation, and the like. You might be a person who helps others and encourages others. Despite this, you may forever be seen in a poor light because of something like coming out gay or being openly gay.

Cases like this really should encourage you to move on from others and only focus on yourself. This comes back to the quote of not pandering to someone who you do not see in your future.




What to Do To Not See People So Negatively


Here are some things to keep in mind in regards to not being so negative to people...

Celebrate and respect someone's success. Even if you are someone who disapproves of one's work, at least respect the person is doing very well and is very happy. Only be concerned if someone really is going down a path that is considered dangerous or hazardous.

Respect others' privacy. If someone chooses to be privately or not want to communicate with certain people, respect the privacy of others. Don't try to barge in.

Let others have their happiness. Do not try to ruin someone who may be having happy vibes. People who are on a creative trip or a happy trip should not be brought down. Allow people to be happy.

Remember you do not know what people are going through. Before you judge someone, do not assume you know everything a person is going through if they are doing so poorly. If someone is not willing to express their issues with you, either they choose to keep their problems to themselves, or they don't trust you enough to try to solve their issues. Just have patience with people you love or care about.

Let a person be on their own if they can't be helped, but do not hassle or bully that person. It is tough to try to work with someone who may not want to be helped or can't be trusted enough. The best thing you may want to do is simply not associate yourself with that person. Just make sure not to continually harass or demean someone.



You are not a bad person just because someone is such a poor person in your eyes. It also does not mean you are a poor influence because you can't help someone who may need help. People just think in different ways to where even the best advice is not really helpful in the long run. You can only do what you can do. Just make yourself better as a person if you feel you can do better to better get through to others.

Now that we have established a lot of ground work, it is time I give some final thoughts. The next section wraps up this post, so move ahead.




Always Seen Negatively - Final Thoughts


While others' perceptions about us are not required to make, we at least want to know if we can be better people no matter what anyone thinks about us. Do not persuade people to give opinions about ourselves. However, always think about how you are perceived to others as opposed to what you think about yourself. Your actions can help determine if people will respect you or disrespect you.

It is not the end of the world because someone you care enough about always seems to be negative about you or only focus on you when doing wrong. It may mean you have to either try to build a better bond with such people or be more independent of that person's support. You could be a perfectly fine person who may be trying but still get looked down for whatever reason(s). Cut some people out of your life or limit your contact with someone who you feel you can't build a solid bond with.

One other important thing to think about in all of this is to not judge someone so poorly when you don't know what the person is going through. Even if you think you know what someone is going through, you really do not know EVERYTHING a person may be dealing with. So make sure to respect the privacy and thoughts of what someone is going through. Do not attempt to help someone by making backhanded compliments or only feeling someone only exists to hurt you.

We can do a lot to try to help be seen better than how a lot of us are ultimately seen. While we want to know how others feel about us, only you can judge you best. Some of us may be trying to better liked, but progress could be slow. It still does not mean we are failures because of our lack of trying or slow rates of success. We can always work to improve and be seen as better people. That is, unless some people have unrealistic expectations about us. No one person is a disgrace to humanity unless that person commits seriously offensive crimes (such as murder or terrorism). Anyone who is seen poorly can work to be better in the eyes of such people. If some people seem too complicated to work with or be associated with, the best thing you could do is simply cut that person or those people out of your life. Their loss will be your gain unless that person or those people can finally come around to respecting you as the person you truly are... IF they eventually do...





I hate discussing things like this, but I feel I need to get these things out based on thoughts of mine or personal experiences. If I am experiencing some things I discuss in my blog posts, I feel and want to believe others may need some help on the same matters. I always say we are all battling the same battles. From time to time, we need to rely on each other and build off of each other to help live better lives. That is what I hope I am accomplishing on "John's Life Space." So if you appreciate my efforts, please feel free to follow my blog(s) in some capacity. Support me and my work any way you can. If you enjoy my work, please Subscribe/Follow my blog(s) in any capacity if you love my work and want to support me any way you can. Share my blog post(s) with others if you enjoy my work. Thank you for reading! Take care and be well.

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Thursday, November 24, 2022

Adoption

John B. Marine | November 24, 2022 | | Be the first to comment!
If you want to start a family but not go through with having your own children, parents can consider adoption. Adopted children are not one's biological family, but adoptive parents can give children new hope and opportunities not previously had from their biological parents. Adopted children often come from either failed parents, divorced parents who lost custody, or from deceased parents. Regardless, children can have new opportunities and chances by being adopted by adopted parents. This blog post discusses adopting children and the challenges involved for both the children and the parents.






Adoption


What brings a lot of couples joy is in starting and maintaining a family. Some families may want to start their own family but do not get to have children of their own. So what some prospective families do is adopt children.

Adoption is the process of bringing a child or children of another birth family into one's own. Most adopted children come from orphans, divorced parents, or even parents whom lost custody of their children. Children without homes or families end up being without a family and/or a place to call home. While it is possible to live without parents, it surely isn't fun or productive. So rather than have to live the foster child life, there are parents loving enough and caring enough to take a chance at bringing someone into their own family to take care of them. Adopted children may also find themselves a forever family and/or a forever home outside of their biological parents.

As I mentioned, parents willing to take a chance to take in a foster child to adopt will be rewarded with being with loving parents and even taking in some new skills. There have been many famous foster children, but one I will focus on is Simone Biles. Simone Biles came from parents who dealt with drug-related issues. She went from being born in Columbus, OH, USA to being adopted by a family in Spring, TX, USA. Simone Biles would go from getting into gymnastics as a child to becoming a gymnastics superstar for Team USA in the Olympics. Simone Biles' story is encouragement in knowing what can be possible if adoptive parents take in the challenge of adopting.

Being part of a new family means you have to get adjusted to a new set of circumstances. For example, if a child grew up in one's biological family with any number of toxic environment factors, and then goes to a family with better income and better educated family; the adopted child will have to get accustomed to a new environment. So maybe an adopted child will get used to having things like broadband Internet and living in a larger house or a better community. Having things a child didn't have previously can be enjoyed with a new family.


Adoption Challenges.

Some of the challenges involved in adopting children is mostly the legal process, financial matters, and of course- disciplining foster children. Some foster children will take some time for which to get adjusted to being with a family and being taken care of in a family. That alone can be a challenge in its own right. Hurdles, both of the legal and financial variety, can also be taxing (no pun intended) on adoptive parents.

I would argue the challenge for adopted children is in trying to learn right from wrong and also trying to be functional members of society. Since a lot of foster children may not know how to socialize properly, this can prove a problem in developing them later in life. They will need to be properly taught how to conduct themselves in social settings as well as in school.

If you want an idea of adoption challenges for children, here is a video for you:


^ What adopted children think you should know

For the adoptive families, they'll have to learn how to become parents. Parenting is nothing that is taught formally at learning institutions. Families have to learn things on the fly. No parents are ever perfect, even and especially adoptive parents.




LGBT+ Couples Adoption.

Most people believe a child stands the best chance at life by having a mother and a father in his/her life. Having a mother and a father gives two entities a chance to nurture and develop a child. Much like how the lines of marriage have been blurred to where it used to be marriage defined as a loving bond between a man and a woman, parenting lines are being blurred as having a mother figure and a father figure. Can two gay men respectively be dad and mom? Can two lesbian women respectively be mom and dad? Male-to-female transgender women aren't able to get pregnant, so can a transgender woman be mom?

I was first introduced to this topic a many years ago on "The Ricki Lake Show." Ricki Lake (in the FOX days of this daytime talk show, not the NBC one) had one episode discussing if LGBT couples should adopt children. LGBT rights and responsibilities have changed through the early course of the 21st Century. Such LGBT people have become better accepted and less criticized and less comical. That even comes to the point of curbing discrimination among LGBT couples. Even as LGBT couples vie for various rights, part of that vying even comes in the form of wanting to be parents.

For the homophobic types, they would feel an adopted child would be ruined with homosexual parents as opposed to heterosexual parents. However, an LGBT+ couple raising an adopted child is just the same as adoption from a regular heterosexual couple. What matters most is a foster child being loved and taken care of by loving parents regardless of the parents' sexual orientation. So don't fret over a child being raised and protected by queer parents. Parenting is about raising and protecting children, and sexual orientation of the parents is a non-factor.

Don't believe me regarding LGBT couples? Check this video out:


^ LGBT Adoption: Redefining Family


Should YOU Adopt?

If you are a couple looking to start a family but may not want to make children of your own, if you accept the financial and legal and social challenges of adoption; then surely adopt if your heart desires. Just like any average parenting, adoptive parenting is a lifelong responsibility. So be ready for a long time of protecting and nurturing a foster care child if you are so inclined to be foster parents.

I have some final thoughts to share, so go to the next section.


Adoption: Final Thoughts

Adoption is a way of giving children another chance at life apart from their troubled biological parents. Adopting children incorporates a number of challenges of the financial, legal, and social (and sometimes religious) variety. Adopted children can have a chance to be part of a different sort of lifestyle and home apart from their troubled past. There are risks involved in parents who wish to adopt children, but the main goal is to continue to nurture and groom children whereas their biological parents failed to do so. Even if you are an LGBT couple, you can still choose to be loving parents for a foster care child. Being great parents has nothing to do with sexual orientation- being great parents is about being there for children in all aspects of life regardless of the sexual orientation of the parents.

Parenting is about working together for the sake of children. Whereas one's biological family may have failed in raising and nurturing a child, an adoptive family can help provide children a second (and maybe more than second) chance to be taken take care of and loved. Adoptive parenting is a risk and a challenge that can go a long way to help children whom otherwise may not get such opportunities again in their lives. You don't have to be perfect; you just have to be a parent.





That concludes my blog post about adopting children. Hopefully I may have inspired future parents to consider adoption. I may add resources about adoption in my "Helpful Resources" page in the future. For now, though, I am glad you can read my post and gain some more life insight as I provide per usual here. If you enjoy my work, please Subscribe/Follow my blog(s) in any capacity if you love my work and want to support me any way you can. Share my blog post(s) with others if you enjoy my work. Thank you for reading! Take care and be well.

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