No matter what age your children are, they will always be your babies, your precious, your... whatever terms of endearment. There will be a time where your little ones won't be so little. They will get into grown-up things. Some things grown-ups get involved in are sex and relationships. Making this discussion regarding both matters is not an easy one to start. It can be tough to try to start such a conversation or discuss these things properly to someone still quite young. So is there anything you can do to properly discuss sex and relationships to youth? I will try to explain in this blog post.
Before I Begin...
This blog post's suggested audience is with parents. I make a lot of references to children and youth, but this post was meant for parents more than children and youth.About the Label: Making the Conversation
As it is important to generate needed conversations about things, it can be tough to try to properly get conversations going. This label helps to get a basis of conversation going towards any number of issues that need to be discussed.Making the Conversation: Youth Relationships and Intimacy
The basic response some parents would make is that children and teens are too young to think about sex and relationships, and children should not be thinking about these things while they are still young. However, there will come a time where these things will cross the minds of youth. Youth should be equipped with enough information and advice to see them through something like intimacy and relationships.
School prepares children for life and educates them on various matters. Some things outside of what is taught in school can only properly be taught by parents. Two such matters involve intimacy and relationships. While a parent can talk to children one-to-one regarding some life issues, it is best to hold a discussion speaking on youth's level. A parent has to try to explain things on a child's level while not overwhelming them with thoughts.
Intimacy and relationships are two things that will be fresh in the minds of youth as they grow older, so they shouldn't be overlooked when a young person has thoughts and concerns regarding such matters. A young person may choose to marry someone. If indeed someone wants to get married, that involves getting into relationships. If someone wants to start a family, that means a young person wants to get involved in having sex (or a much safer option- adopting children). Do not put these things aside- address them for when curiosity looms. That is the purpose of my discussion of intimacy and relationships with youth.
Primary Considerations.
Just as with any topic matter, the primary consideration is to be attentive both in questions being asked as well as in trying to answer properly. Intimacy and relationships are not easy matters to discuss; however, they are not completely taboo. Being able to address any sort of concerns in an efficient matter helps to alleviate some of the process of gaining a general understanding.Discussing Relationships With Youth.
Relationships are always a matter worth discussing even if they don't involve intimacy or romance. Relationships can range from innocent love to deeply involved relationships. Being involved in relationships shouldn't go to the level where it interferes with or mitigates with trying to get a quality education. Again- while relationships of many kinds are a perfectly fine topic to discuss,If you are a parent who had to deal with deceased lovers or being in and out of relationships, while it is tough to bring up those matters, it is recommended to discuss when relationships go wrong and how to deal with those things when love goes wrong. If you were possibly a player in relationships, be sure to discuss trying to find love without being a player or without trying to get up hopes of a relationship with someone only to crush those dreams. Even tougher to discuss is domestic abuse. Domestic abuse remains a hot-button issue in today's society. Hopefully your children will not be involved with any issues regarding domestic abuse or sexual abuse, but it is okay to discuss these matters in addition to discussing when love goes wrong.
Discussing Intimacy With Youth.
Intimacy regards a number of issues which most youth may not easily grasp right away. Intimacy itself is not a bad thing to discuss, but it does play a role in most relationships. Intimacy can entail matters of libido (sexual desire) and can even delve into pregnancy. As is the case regarding getting intimate with others, there is also the possibility of transmitting STDs (sexually-transmitted diseases). If intimacy is to be practiced, youth must learn about safe sex or even practice abstinence.If young ones are interested in intimacy, it is best to try to explain intimacy in an understandable and non-destructive manner. Do not allow youth to go on some sex addiction that ultimately scars them for life. Do not even punish youth for even having these thoughts in their mind. This is something that will impact youth for the rest of their lives. So try to be attentive and understanding in discussing intimacy with youth.
Discussing LGBT+ Relationships and Intimacy With Youth.
As a special topic regarding relationships and intimacy, as loaded a topic of relationships and intimacy are relationships and intimacy involving LGBT types. Imagine you are the parents of a boy who wants to be intimate with or have a relationship with a gay male partner or even with a transgender. Maybe you have a daughter interested in a lesbian relationship or wanting to be intimate with a lesbian female partner. You may even have a transgender child or gender non-binary individual who wants to be intimate and have a relationship with whomever. This discussion matter is a bit more volatile because not as many parents are as accepting of LGBT+ relationships or acts. Some parents may even threaten to kick children out of the house for being any denomination of LGBT+.If you can as a parent, try to be understanding and mindful of your child or children who feel so attracted and loved to any LGBT+ partner. It is important advice to suggest that your child should be able to love whomever they feel most happy and complete with, even if it is a same-sex partner or some sort of heterosexual, bisexual, pansexual, etc. partner. It is then important to try to discuss intimacy and relationships properly keeping LGBT+ matters in mind. As with any discussion of intimacy and/or relationships, be mindful of trying to discuss these matters in a way youth can understand and apply. It is tougher when it involves LGBT+ matters, but it is not impossible.
Now that I started a few pieces of advice towards relationships, I will provide some final thoughts.
Making the Conversation: Youth Relationships and Intimacy - Final Thoughts
While a loaded subject with many different layers to process and unpack, relationships and intimacy are not taboo for youth. Just because this is a loaded topic doesn't mean it is impossible to discuss. It is important to try to discuss relationships and intimacy on an understandable level when youth have their concerns and thoughts in regards to both relationships and intimacy. It is a tougher discussion of relationships and intimacy when the discussion involves LGBT+ relationships and intimacy. At this point, a parent has to take into account LGBT+ acceptance in addition to discussing relationships and intimacy with youth when the matters involve LGBT material.
The discussion involving relationships and intimacy between parents and children is a tough but necessary topic to discuss. Rather than put the issues aside when youth has their concerns over these issues, discuss relationships and intimacy with youth to help prepare them for life. Make sure to discuss these matters in a way that youth can understand. Do not try to overwhelm them with thoughts that may scare youth. Pace the conversation easily and properly to make the discussion process easy. When there is a general understanding overall, both children and parents will win and benefit.
Enough conversation- MAKE THE DISCUSSION when the time arises.
I hope you were able to grasp the general concept here. Do your best to discuss relationships and intimacy with youth in an understandable, relatable level. I wish you well in your efforts. If you enjoy my work, please Subscribe/Follow my blog(s) in any capacity if you love my work and want to support me any way you can. Share my blog post(s) with others if you enjoy my work. Thank you for reading! Take care and be well.
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