Everyone is free to be in a relationship with almost any total stranger they love. However, there will be people who hate your choice of partner for whatever reason. They may be hated because of a lover's character. They could be hated because that lover may potentially be using someone. They could be hated because they go against what some people hate (for example, politics, religion, sexual orientation, etc.). Regardless, while you and your lover may be totally happy, there may always be someone who disapproves of your relationship. So how do you deal with these times? That is the point of this blog post on "John's Life Space."
I Hate Your Lover!
NOTE: I was going to use an image to identify this post, but because there were too many immature ones linked to this topic, I choose to go without an image for this post. Now let's begin.
If you watch a lot of daytime talk shows, the notion of hating someone's lover is a common topic. For example, there may be one person's mother who disapproves of a relationship her son or daughter has with someone else. However strong the hatred is between someone else is can be a deterrent to further developing and nurturing a relationship with a loved one.
Who Hates Others' Lovers?
Almost anybody. Usually, it may be a member of your family who disapproves of you falling in love with a certain individual. Some of the reasons why such hate exists can be any number of reasons. Here are a few examples of why some people would hate certain people an individual is is in love with in the next section:Why Hate Others' Lovers?
• Hate the personality of one's lover. In this case, someone may have a personality that someone else may disapprove of. For example, you know how some say that "good girls love bad boys." Well, imagine if that "bad boy" is a serial cheater or a player, yet the female who loves him doesn't care about that. This is not going to be an issue unless someone discovers this male cheating on his girlfriend.• Hate the lover outside of ethnicity, nationality, or culture. This mostly pertains to people thinking a certain person loves someone outside of one's culture and beliefs. An example of this would be a Black person who loves someone of a Latin ethnicity. It is as if to say someone should only date with and love people within his/her own ethnicity or culture. The person who disapproves of an interracial relationship would feel like he/she is damaging a certain ethnicity by dating outside of one's ethnicity.
Another example is if one person of Christian religion dates someone of Islamic religion. A clash of religious beliefs can be a big deterrent in keeping some loving bonds going. Especially if someone is opposed to a different religion, it can be fuel for someone to hate someone who thinks differently among religious beliefs.
• Hate the lover's sexual orientation. Times today are more accepting of LGBT+ individuals than in past times. Even still, there are people who can't stand anyone who is gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender, or the like. Some people are still stuck in the past in dealing with LGBT types with past beliefs. As we've seen, a lot more people are accepting of LGBT individuals. So let's say a male is madly in love with his boyfriend, a female loves her girlfriend, or perhaps a male becomes romantically involved with a transgender lover. Some people who simply dislike or outright hate anyone LGBT will likely cringe at the sight of someone kissing or being intimate with anyone LGBT.
In the case of someone who is romantically attached to an LGBT partner and living with family members, there is a possibility that this person may get kicked out of the house or disowned because of his/her/their relationship with an LGBT individual. The parent or family member may possibly say something along the lines of "I didn't raise you to be gay." Some may even go off into a tangent saying that one will "go to Hell" for loving a LGBT partner.
Hate for Lovers: Crisis Situations.
However, if there are reasons to legitimately dislike lovers, it is in crisis situations, such as the ones mentioned in this section:• Hate for a lover because of being against one's will, and hate because of a controlling lover. A real reason someone can hate one's lover is if someone could be in love with someone because of being held against his/her/their own will. As if to say the individual has no control over being in a controlling relationship. These are situations such as rape and sex trafficking. Half the time, certain individuals locked into such relationships are part of relationships one does not want to be a part of. This is definitely a time to bring attention to law enforcement. In these cases, he/she/they did not choose to be in such a relationship.
• Hate for a lover for controlling/abusive behavior. Also, another reason to dislike one's lover is if that lover is controlling and abusive. If you are the parent or trusted friend of someone in an abusive relationship, you certainly have reason to dislike a lover he/she/they is/are with. These are times of crisis. If the situation looms worse, you may need to get law enforcement involved or various hotlines to call.
• Hate for someone in a May-December relationship. If there is a significant age difference between romantic partners (usually 11 or more years age difference), this is another reason lovers can be hated. Some May-December relationships may not be shady at all, so this is mostly on a case-by-case basis.
These may be the best reasons and most acceptable reasons why someone can disapprove of a certain lover.
No matter what the case, the hate people may have for certain lovers is substantiated. People have their reasons for expressing their hate for certain peoples' lovers. Next section offers some thoughts in regards to hating other lovers.
I Hate Your Lover! - Final Thoughts
No matter what reason(s) someone may have for hating certain romantic partners, people will have any reason why someone should not fall in love with certain people. Even if you disapprove of certain lovers, the most important thing to remember is unless a person chose to be with a certain individual, being in love with someone who makes one happy is that person's business; not yours. The only time concern should be raised about who one loves romantically is in cases of domestic abuse or potential crisis. People have always been told and taught to love whomever makes him/her/them happy. We have interracial and intercultural relationships because people simply want whomever they feel most in love with and complete with.
When it comes to LGBT relationships, it is the same story. Even if a person has never engaged in a same-sex relationship, even LGBT relationships suffer when some outside influence hates someone dating an LGBT partner. It is the same situation in dealing with the relationship choices a certain individual has made. Only that person can dictate.
If there is one situation almost anyone can agree on to dislike someone, it is because of a controlling lover. Some controlling lovers can be despicable to the extent of romantic involvement with individuals against their will. These reasons can include rape and sex trafficking. For these situations, one may potentially need to get law enforcement involved to save others from danger from a controlling and abusive lover.
No matter what romantic decision(s) one makes or who one choose to love, one thing to remember is... unless there is any potential danger in a relationship, allow people to get into whatever relationship they choose to be in. Respect one's romantic decisions and give a couple their space even if you don't believe in the beliefs of one's lover. If you can, try to coexist with others to limit any would-be hatred. Love works when all involved parties come together regardless of differences. Without some sort of coherence, love can not exist.
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