IMPORTANT NOTE...
Part of this blog post introduces elements of domestic abuse. Domestic abuse is a serious situation. If you or someone you know experiences an episode of domestic violence, immediately contact local authorities, file a police report, contact hotlines, or seek help from healthcare professionals or other qualified individuals. DO NOT let these situations linger.Children and Arguing Parents
Though an unpleasant mood, let me set the mood here with a picture...
^ from: parent.com (links to article) - Being a child experiencing parents argue can be damaging and uncomfortable. It is even more so damaging if disputes lead to violence or an unsafe home environment.
In the case of disputing parents, a child may feel part of why the parents are at disagreement. Most of these times do not involve children as the basis of argument among parents. This is an assuring thought if a child feels one is part of the dispute between parents. However, just being away from the parents yet still hearing them oppose each other is enough to make a child feel queasy, depressed, and anxious.
The good news for a child is that most debates among parents does not involve a child or children within distance of arguing parents. The debate would have to be about if a child contributing to a problem in order for children to feel they are part of an argument among parents. That usually is not likely why parents may be at odds with each other. As an example of when children play a factor in what two parents may be arguing about, it may be if one parent punishes a child too harshly either by spanking or by making children depressed, and that the other parent thinks that loved one is being too harsh. Most of the time, a lot of arguments among arguing parents do not involve children as part of the debate.
The real trouble area is about what the future holds if one or both parents reach their boiling point or reach a certain level of tolerance. What could end up happening could adversely affect the life of a child or children for nearly the rest of their lives.
Should Children Try to Step In?
It is best to let the parents settle their issues if they can. If children try to get in the middle of disputing parents, it could end up in children getting harmed or possibly make a dispute worse. It is better to try to help a situation rather than add to it. Incidents such as arguing parents impacts all parties. So for the sake of children, it is possibly a great idea to not get involved or be a factor in diffusing disputes.Let us discuss the aftermath of arguing parents and the correlation with children.
Aftermath of Arguing Parents
The situations involved may not pertain to everyone, but these are prime indicators of what is possible. Take a look...
Argument Alone.
Loving couples will argue at times. It is natural for there not to be much to be happy about for whatever reason. A couple that simply argues usually has their say, and things do not go overboard or to extremes. Arguments that end peacefully and without excessive conflict usually are just moments of disagreement that do not get into anything hairy.As children who witnesses just an argument, do not feel part of the problem unless one truly is part of the problem. Most parents usually resolve their arguments without any sort of retaliation. Therefore, children can feel happy and can relax a bit.
Argument, Followed by Verbal Abuse.
A more serious situation involves when scathing words and thoughts are tossed around among a disagreeing couple. Regardless of who seems more at fault, the feeling of a disputing couple can bring great sadness among the two. Verbal abuse can alter the mental health of one or both parents. Depending on what it is said and how it is said, it can lead to someone feeling thrashed. Children who experience this become fearful of one or both parents.These are the mild cases of arguing parents. Now let's get to some extremes...
Argument, Followed By Domestic Abuse.
I hope any sort of dispute among parents leads to domestic abuse, but that can happen. This is where an argument between two parents can lead to one or both loved ones inflicting physical violence against each other. A child hearing or experiencing two adults attack each other can be crippling. Violence is never acceptable or warranted. The worst that can happen is for arguing parents to be injured or even worse- get killed. Even more worse would be a murder-suicide between the two- whereas one parent is killed, followed by the assailant killing oneself afterwards. As one can imagine, children who experience parents domestically abuse each other can feel heartbroken and alone.A possibility may exist where one or both arguing parents could end up in children being attacked and abused. This may happen if one or both parents are so distraught with each other that it also involves having children involved in the dispute. Domestic abuse is bad enough; child abuse is just as bad. Disputes should never come down to violence, but it happens.
IMPORTANT: If domestic abuse occurs, contact local authorities, file a police report, or even contact domestic abuse hotlines or qualified healthcare professionals.
Argument, Followed By Divorce.
Maybe the best thing to happen to a couple is to end the relationship. This can be a good way to settle matters without inflicting violence. A peaceful end to a relationship is better than things providing an uncomfortable experience at home. If children experience divorce, it will feel like someone helpful is now gone. Depending on how involved someone is with children, this can range from not missing anything to not having a major ally. This situation involves money and certain claims.Or maybe...
Argument, Then Make Up.
Maybe parents can have their argument and learn to be happy together again. Forgive and forget usually is not easy, but it happens. If disputes can be settled without any extreme disputes or retaliation, a loving balance along with togetherness helps a family stay together. At the moment, children can feel happy a dispute ends and that happiness is restored. Resolutions like this can make a family stronger.No matter what situation(s) arise, these are moments that can change lives radically.
Aftercare From Arguing Parents
What happens after arguing parents have had their say? It is time to think about people can move on.
Aftercare: Arguing Parents.
If a dispute is settled or no longer wanting to be together, what happens next is thinking about how to move on after tough times. Some parents can deal with these moments better than others. It could result in families being closer together and more powerful. If things come down to divorce, handling financial matters is key in moving forward. This can take some time if the process gets hairy. Most important is to remember to still be a loving parent. And speaking of...Aftercare: Children.
Offering a sense of assurance to affected children is helpful once parents drop their abuse. Children may not be powerful enough to serve as individuals who can diffuse an intense situation as arguing parents. They can, though, be factors in whether such situations get settled. Children have to make sure they do not let parental matters impact their chain of thought or how they live their lives independent of arguing parents. In more extreme cases, children may have to join other family members or possibly go to foster home care to be treated properly just to get away from hostile parents.Aftercare: The Family.
As long as disputes aren't a combination of the arguing couple along with children, these should be moments to bring families together and make them stronger. If divorce or moving on is what it takes for a family to become better again, the plan moving forward is to try to be better equipped for the future.Coming up are final thoughts.
Children and Arguing Parents: Final Thoughts
Couples will argue and dispute things. If children are near or are involved, the psychological impacts will be on the couple and children. Most children usually are not part of the problem(s) that may exist among arguing parents. Despite this, it is understandable for children to be impacted by what happens when parents argue. Whether or not disputes get settled, keeping a family together will involve getting some professional help or even settling disputes without inflicting violence. Divorce may sometimes be the answer if the two can no longer get along and with no hope of resolving their issues.
Children are not powerful enough to get in the way and try to diffuse situations involving arguing parents. They can, though, be factors in how a family or a home can move forward after parents are done arguing. What should never happen is for children to suffer the same abuse and hostility parents may experience. Adding fuel to the fire never settles a dispute. Childrens' lives may be affected for a long time or lifelong the aftermath of arguing parents leads to being depressed and/or anxious.
If you can afford it, it helps to have some professional help available if you have those resources available. Most of these moments do not resolve themselves in short order. The pain can last for a very long time. Make sure you are ready to handle life after two parents are at odds.
I hope all of you do not get to experience something like this. If it does happen, though, recovery can be difficult, but very possible. Do not give up on hope, and do not do anything too rational. A lot is on the line regarding relationships among parents and also relationships among children. Do not squander or severely damage any sort of loving bond. Difficult topic, I know, but that is what I do here- discuss difficult topics and offer calming comments to help deal with such matters. I would appreciate your support if you enjoyed my material here. Subscribe/Follow my blog(s) in any capacity if you love my work. Share my blog post(s) with others if you enjoy my work. Support me further by connecting with me on social media; and if you are inclined, feel free to donate to me (tips/donations are voluntary but would be appreciated). Thank you for reading! Take care and be well.
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