Do you feel like some people only communicate with you when something is wrong or when you fail? This angers me personally. Someone who may think so can range from peers to even family members. Maybe you do have certain problems that need to be corrected. Conversely, you may be around people who simply don't love and respect you enough to acknowledge your positive qualities rather than always attack you for doing wrong. No matter what the case, only you know most what you are capable of. It is time for me to speak on this topic.
Always Seen Negatively
All of us have qualities which make us good and bad. How much people view our qualities help establish a sort of overall opinion about ourselves. Are we great and engaging people that make us loved in the face of others? Are we poor enough to actually not be as loved as we could be?
Some people will say something along the lines of, "only God can judge me." This means that for whatever someone bad may say about us, no one person can absolutely judge us properly to give a final opinion about who we are and what we mean to this world. Why do we judge, though? Well, we sometimes want to know how other people think about us regardless of what we think about ourselves. It is a case of wanting to know... but then not really wanting to know.
Okay- that moment comes. "What do you think about me?" If are given positive remarks or mostly positive remarks, you're good! However, let's say you aren't as good as you may think. Now what?
Personally, I feel offended when I am only seen for my negatives instead of my positives. A person who mostly seems to communicate with you with your faults makes you want to cut that person out of your life instead of being re-reminded (to that person) how horrible of a person you are. What is worse is only being negative to someone and not offer any advice or help to someone who is facing problems. In this regard, you are essentially a bully if you only talk to certain people when they are doing wrong or if you only communicate with people when someone is at their lowest points. In some people with anger problems, it makes some disturbed people want to fight somebody or something. Constantly feeling seen negatively (or feeling this way) only lessens your worth to the world in your eyes. You know you are a better person than what most people think about you, so do what you can to help drown out negative thoughts about you people may make about you.
When Usually Viewed Poorly.
I sometimes think of celebrities and some other popular figures in this regard. As an example, there was a time when Miley Ray Cyrus was considered the worst celebrity influence. Many people (myself included) loved her as "Hannah Montana" on Disney. Outside of "Hannah Montana," she became the worst celebrity influence for children in 2009 mostly for her "Wrecking Ball" song and her sexual dancing. Despite this, many praised Miley Cyrus for being a positive influence, like with her song "The Climb."
There are times when media outlets only seem to focus on the negatives of people. This makes it to where it is easy to dismiss people on certain other qualities. For example, let's say a well-known celebrity does lots of charity work and encourages other people to be better... but he/she/they may be seen as a bad person because of some incident that person has made into a bad figure. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion about things- even including people. When you know you are a better person than how you are portrayed, it makes you feel terrible inside knowing you are better than what people may think. A person who is even trying to get into the better graces of people often want to feel loved or recognized.
The reality, though, is that not everyone will be seen in any positive light all the time. Some people even await when someone who seems a hero/heroine will do something wrong to where all of the positive qualities turn out to be lies. No matter who you love or are into, you are never going to be 100% supportive of everyone. Everyone (including myself) is going to have some quality you are not going to like and will give you a reason to hate someone.
Now let me talk about what to do if constantly feeling negatively.
Always Seen Negatively - By Peers.
You are going to encounter people who always seem to think of you negatively. Are you really a bad person? This is common in school. You know you are not going to be the most popular person on campus among other students. You will be picked on and possibly bullied.
Maybe you are part of a workplace where you always feel slighted by the general public. Do you still do your job at your workplace, or do you feel you are replacable, serviceable talent?
In the face of peers, always remember who are and what you really mean to people around you. Your purpose to others is not to be the butt of everyone's jokes unless you are seriously antisocial or lacking any positive qualities. Surround yourself with people who care about you and understand you. You do not have to go it alone or be more reserved.
Always Seen Negatively - By Family.
I always say the closest friends you'll make are your family. When you feel a family member, stepfamily member, or a relative keeps regarding you negatively; you feel hurt because that is someone close to you who looks at you in a negative way. I once researched the murder of singer Marvin Gaye thinking about this topic. Marvin Gaye was one of the most powerful and popular singers in R&B music until he was killed by his father.
Sometimes, we make tough decisions to cut some people out of our lives; or at least, not be reluctant to look to some people for help. That even includes cutting family members out of our lives. Anything to help us do and feel better has to be done for our betterment later in life including isolation from loved ones will have to be made.
If you feel a family member may be difficult to deal with, you may just have to choose to work independently and limit your association and contact with that person. It may not help your bond with someone improve, but it can help for you to feel better about yourself in the area of such people. This is one of those tough decisions you may want to make if you feel a family member always sees you negatively and have given up trying to get into someone's good graces.
Always Seen Negatively - Special Considerations.
Maybe the reason you are seen negatively by people is because of certain qualities that overshadow anything good you do. Namely, reasons because of religious views, governmental views, sexual orientation, and the like. You might be a person who helps others and encourages others. Despite this, you may forever be seen in a poor light because of something like coming out gay or being openly gay.
Cases like this really should encourage you to move on from others and only focus on yourself. This comes back to the quote of not pandering to someone who you do not see in your future.
What to Do To Not See People So Negatively
Here are some things to keep in mind in regards to not being so negative to people...
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Celebrate and respect someone's success. Even if you are someone who disapproves of one's work, at least respect the person is doing very well and is very happy. Only be concerned if someone really is going down a path that is considered dangerous or hazardous.
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Respect others' privacy. If someone chooses to be privately or not want to communicate with certain people, respect the privacy of others. Don't try to barge in.
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Let others have their happiness. Do not try to ruin someone who may be having happy vibes. People who are on a creative trip or a happy trip should not be brought down. Allow people to be happy.
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Remember you do not know what people are going through. Before you judge someone, do not assume you know everything a person is going through if they are doing so poorly. If someone is not willing to express their issues with you, either they choose to keep their problems to themselves, or they don't trust you enough to try to solve their issues. Just have patience with people you love or care about.
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Let a person be on their own if they can't be helped, but do not hassle or bully that person. It is tough to try to work with someone who may not want to be helped or can't be trusted enough. The best thing you may want to do is simply not associate yourself with that person. Just make sure not to continually harass or demean someone.
You are not a bad person just because someone is such a poor person in your eyes. It also does not mean you are a poor influence because you can't help someone who may need help. People just think in different ways to where even the best advice is not really helpful in the long run. You can only do what you can do. Just make yourself better as a person if you feel you can do better to better get through to others.
Now that we have established a lot of ground work, it is time I give some final thoughts. The next section wraps up this post, so move ahead.
Always Seen Negatively - Final Thoughts
While others' perceptions about us are not required to make, we at least want to know if we can be better people no matter what anyone thinks about us. Do not persuade people to give opinions about ourselves. However, always think about how you are perceived to others as opposed to what you think about yourself. Your actions can help determine if people will respect you or disrespect you.
It is not the end of the world because someone you care enough about always seems to be negative about you or only focus on you when doing wrong. It may mean you have to either try to build a better bond with such people or be more independent of that person's support. You could be a perfectly fine person who may be trying but still get looked down for whatever reason(s). Cut some people out of your life or limit your contact with someone who you feel you can't build a solid bond with.
One other important thing to think about in all of this is to not judge someone so poorly when you don't know what the person is going through. Even if you think you know what someone is going through, you really do not know EVERYTHING a person may be dealing with. So make sure to respect the privacy and thoughts of what someone is going through. Do not attempt to help someone by making backhanded compliments or only feeling someone only exists to hurt you.
We can do a lot to try to help be seen better than how a lot of us are ultimately seen. While we want to know how others feel about us, only you can judge you best. Some of us may be trying to better liked, but progress could be slow. It still does not mean we are failures because of our lack of trying or slow rates of success. We can always work to improve and be seen as better people. That is, unless some people have unrealistic expectations about us. No one person is a disgrace to humanity unless that person commits seriously offensive crimes (such as murder or terrorism). Anyone who is seen poorly can work to be better in the eyes of such people. If some people seem too complicated to work with or be associated with, the best thing you could do is simply cut that person or those people out of your life. Their loss will be your gain unless that person or those people can finally come around to respecting you as the person you truly are... IF they eventually do...
I hate discussing things like this, but I feel I need to get these things out based on thoughts of mine or personal experiences. If I am experiencing some things I discuss in my blog posts, I feel and want to believe others may need some help on the same matters. I always say we are all battling the same battles. From time to time, we need to rely on each other and build off of each other to help live better lives. That is what I hope I am accomplishing on "John's Life Space." So if you appreciate my efforts, please feel free to follow my blog(s) in some capacity. Support me and my work any way you can. If you enjoy my work, please Subscribe/Follow my blog(s) in any capacity if you love my work and want to support me any way you can. Share my blog post(s) with others if you enjoy my work. Thank you for reading! Take care and be well.
