Absent Parenting
Absent parenting is when a certain parent does not seem attached to or positively involved in a child's life. Because many people feel having a mother figure and a father figure are important in the development and the life of a child, not having one or both parents being involved can be damaging to the life of a child. Some parents understandably are in circumstances in which they are not always available to be around children often times. For instance, job like truck driving or certain sports do not allow you to see your family often because you are always on the go and always away from home. It still is a tough deal to try to manage working a quality job while also taking care of your family.
In the case of some unloved children, there are some children who dislike an absent parent so much that he/she is ashamed to call that parent his/her mother or father. Certain parents who a child or stepchild may detest usually don't think such an absent parent doesn't feel loved enough to really consider that person a true mother or a true father in his/her life. Some children feel happiest knowing a certain someone is in his/her life through some significant moments. For example, a child may be happy that his/her parent(s) were involved in when that child graduates from High School or gets married. Not having these parental moments can seem hurtful and may even hurt the psyche of a child. Some children feel having loving support from a mother figure and a father figure are important to the development and well-being of a child. However, when one (or even both) figures are absent even when not involving a signficant event in a child's life, it hurts when the most significant persons in a child's life are not there.
There are some cases in which a child may wonder who his/her real father is. Anyone who watches daytime talk shows such as Maury may know about certain men who refuse to fulfill their duties of being a father to his child(ren). Such men are given paternity tests to determine whether certain males are the father of children. There are also some cases of children who question who their real mothers are. Those are the cases of where maternity tests. In some of these cases of such absent parents, some of the absent parents may possibly say they are the real parents of a child or children. Certain others, though, try to keep those possible parents away from children for a number of reasons. Most of these reasons stem from certain relationship issues. Some others just are about simply trying to keep away certain people from entering a child's life. Whatever the case, some absent parents are absent due to relationship issues or anything of that nature.
Triggers of Absent Parenting.
A child may be feel unloved when he/she does not feel connected to whatever parent(s) seem neglectful. Some children may have a physical loving parent or stepparent, but that child may not feel he/she is loved enough in the case of an absent parent. This is where a level of trust is debated and questioned between the child and such absent parents. It can be an extreme case of a parent that is not involved.Some factors of absent parenting can be because of certain occupations, lack of certain resources (like money), abuse, addictions, and more. Having a parent who is out of touch can seem like you refuse to honor a certain individual who is not in your life consistently or regularly. I always say the most important people you will love in your life are your parents and your family. When this parental bond is broken or damaged, trying to repair and mend can be a tough task. How much one is willing to keep hope alive can be key in hoping life gets better for the long term.
Impacts of Absent Parenting.
Studies have indicated that having absent parents can lead children to rough and questionable lifestyles. Children may be more likely to engage in violence, substance abuse, addiction, sexual activity, and more thanks to absent parents later in their lives. It is also possible for children to have lower self-esteem simply from not knowing right from wrong. Other health factors may develop, such as (but not limited to) depression, anxiety, weight gain, lack of exercise, lack of interest in favorite hobbies, and more. An absent parent can also make a child feel more able to isolate himself/herself from such parent(s) as well.Communication When Away.
Modern technology allows us to connect with people from afar. One such method is through the use of video applicaitons such as Skype, Zoom, Facetime, Google Meet, and more. This allows for children to connect with certain parents in today's technological world. Some, though, will believe there is no better way to connect with people than with physical, face-to-face contact. When you don't have this liberty, this is about the next best thing.It also helps for a parent to every now and then express and show love for his/her children. One has no idea as to how comforting and assuring it can be for a parent to show love and respect for a child. Ruining this balance can have dire consequences and may even lead to isolation. It also helps to be loving and respectful. A parent who only or mostly seems to communicate with a child only when things seem wrong leads a child to not feel as jovial in the presence of such a parent. It just becomes a case of, "okay. How bad of a kid am I now? What did I do wrong this time?" This really leads to an unhealthy and toxic relationship between children and parents. If there is an activity that you and a parent enjoy, partake in those times together to keep a healthy bond going. If you two do not share a common love, try to find something to try to bring you two can share and enjoy. Most important is just to keep a child-parent relationship healthy and not damaged beyond repair.
I mostly discussed this issue in regards to biological parents. The next section pertains to having stepparents or being a stepchild.
Absent Parenting: Stepchildren and Stepparents
I tried to mention both biological and non-biological parents. This section, though, pertains exclusively with the case of having stepparents or being a stepchild.
Absent Parenting With Stepparents.
If a biological parent is deceased, you may have a stepparent taking care of you. A stepparent may have some other obligations and some differing levels of love for you. That level of love can vary depending on that person. Will a stepparent have the same support as one's biological father, or will a stepparent be more cruel and only get communicate when something is wrong? A stepparent may have proper motherhood or fatherhood ties to other children and may be more supportive towards those children than his/her stepchild(ren).Some stepparents can be either uncaring or even violent. I heard of a case in which one stepparent was mostly violent and disrespectful to a child to where he did something like throw a video game console at him. This is where a certain stepparent can be abusive and uncaring. The parental bond at this point is minimal or completely broken. One has to be thankful to have a stepparent in his/her life in a time like this. Conversely, one has to wonder if a stepparent can be as loving and as supportive. A lot of factors go into something like this. What can be done to make sure such bonds do not become broken? These are questions you will need to answer on your own.
It is now time I look into providing soem final thoughts on this matter.
Absent Parenting: Final Thoughts
Having parents in our lives are important in our development physically and emotionally. When one or both parents seem absent, it begins to hurt us in a multitude of ways. A lack of love or a parent who never seems to be entirely involved can seem like someone lives rather than exist. Many believe a child's development is best with both a mother figure and a father figure. Sometimes, one person can even be mom and dad in the life of a child or children. Even a parent who does not seem readily available or always loving need to at least be there for a child and show (as well as prove) love on a regular basis. One would be better served to have a loving parent figure rather than someone who seems to not care less about certain children.
Remember that this topic concerns not only biological parents but also stepparents. Here is my discussion question to you in case you want to start a conversation:
How important to you is having both mother and father figures in your life or in the life of another child? How would you handle a case of an absent parent?
This has been a rather tough topic, but I did all I could to explain matters as best as I can. I hope you appreciate my efforts. I hope all of you can could relate to this topic and can be able to learn from this topic. Various life issues are what this blog is about. So if you want more and are not yet subscribed or followed, please do so to get more of my advice and insight. Thank you for reading! Take care and be well.
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